Sometimes when I'm off by myself, spending time with my music and the sky, the champagne bubbles in my stomach fizz out, a lava lamp unplugged, the molten wax slowly solidifying at the bottom. I realized that I'm alone. It's just me on this cold bench in the middle of the world. My hand will flop to the side, empty, and I imagine ghost fingers weaving through mine, or a ghost shoulder to tuck my head into or ghost arms to hold my pieces together, click them back in like loose Lego pieces. It's like that thing amputees get after they've lost an arm or a leg, except that I've never lost this person, I've never found them to begin with. It's always just been me. I don't feel like I'm only half a person, I'd just be 100% better if I could share myself with someone, like those cells... whaddya call it... Ah! Osmosis. To exchange souls until the concentration of the other's soul is even in both, if that made any sense. I keep telling myself that it'll come eventually, if I just wait wait wait

But eventually keeps moving farther out of my reach.