Imagine having someone right about a tragic event in your life, even though they know nothing about the subject personally. I’m tired of that. There’s people writing stories all the time about horrible, horrible things, but they really know nothing about the subject and all the pain, hurt, and tragedy. I can speak for myself personally. It frustrates me to no extent that there are books out there basically plagiarizing my life events. Stories about rape, depression, and suicidal thoughts/actions.

Life is so precious, it really is. People always say, “don’t take life for granted,” or “any moment can be your last moment so live it to the fullest.” But people don’t look at the glass like it half full. Things like rape happen all the time. Going through something like that is majorly tragic, and is something that no normal person can ever forget. It carries pain through every day and every night. Nightmares every time you fall asleep, except these are worse than any ordinary nightmare. In-fact, ten times worse. When you wake up from this dream, the pain, and worry is still there, because once it’s there, it never goes away.

At some point, I had to open up to someone, but that was the biggest mistake. Don’t just trust someone to trust someone. You have to make sure that you have complete and total faith in someone. There has to be a total level of trust in that person, because what happened to me was back stabbing and much more pain. I was giving up.

Being hospitalized twice and diagnosed with depression, I didn’t seem to get any better. Actually, I think I was starting to feel worse. It was taunting me. People didn’t understand what was going on with me. I didn’t like the attention what so ever. I wanted to be left alone by all means necessary, but that was not going to happen. My family had no clue what was going on! I was hurting myself, and constantly thought of ways to end my short lived life.

I don’t like hurting anyone, but I knew it would hurt more if I kept on lying to them longer and longer. Eventually the secret came out and things escalated! Things were absolutely devastating to literally everyone. Several visits to the police department, but there is so much more than details wouldn’t even be able to describe.

My experience is something I’ll never be able to forget, but it’s also something that I can reflect on in my life. Hopefully I can be a role model to other people, and help them to overcome their challenges. I want to love myself just as much as I love everybody else. Being raped and being depressed is something that no teenager; or adult for that matter wants to struggle with. The best tip that I could give is, start healing earlier rather than later. The longer you wait, the more it’s going to hurt when the truth comes out.