This is me and my story. Not many people know my story. They only know what they think my story is like. I was the type of girl that grew up never knowing who my parents were. I never knew my mom. She left me when I was just a baby. My dad on the other hand, well he was never in my life. My mom cheated on her husband with my dad. And well that why I don’t know who my dad was or well is. I grew up with my brother’s dad. He was more like my dad. I grew up with him as my dad. I grew up calling him my dad. I have many siblings. I don’t really know any of them. I only know the ones I grew up with.

My life was never the easiest. I’m not going to lie I never had it as bad as some of my friend, but I still had it rough, maybe even worse than some of my friends. As a child I grew up not really having anyone to go to. I always held everything in. When I was in school all my teachers and consular’s tried to get me to talk, but I couldn’t I didn’t want to. I was scared. I was scared that I would get looked at differently for who I really was. So now well it’s my time to come clean and to let everyone know who I am.

I never felt like I was wanted in my life. The reason why I say that is because I always felt like I was a disappointment to my dad and to my friends. Every time I thought about it I thought that I always did something wrong for people to hate me. It’s not that I was a bad child or anything. It’s just I was never really close to anyone. I never felt like I was loved in any way. I always felt like I would mess up and everything would go wrong. When I finally got to talk to my dad about how I was feeling he helped me and pushed me through everything. He then became my hero.

My dad isn’t like anyone else in my life. He is and will always be there for me. When me and him talk we argue and we don’t see eye to eye on everything, but that is part of being a child. I love my dad for everything that he has done for me. He pushed me to be my best and pushed me to work to my best ability. He knows me better than anyone. Well of course because he is my dad. No matter what I would do anything for him. He sacrificed so much for. He gave up his time for me so I can get an education. He is my true hero. I never really looked up to people. And all he has done for me gave me a reason to look up to him. As a kid I never really knew everything my dad did for me. He helped me out so much. Just having him being there helped me out. My dad never left me; he always stayed to take care of me. He loves me like I am his own even though we all know I am not.

Growing up my dad got scared. He got scared because he always thought I would be like my mom. My mom isn’t the best person. She is the least wanted person in my life. She never did anything for me. She never did what she needed to do as a mother. She was in jail her whole like pretty much. She always promised something that she never could keep. I am honestly happy she isn’t in my life because I wouldn’t be this close to my dad. My dad is the one who was there for me. He did both roles as a parent.

Talking about me and my life is hard because there is still a lot to experience. I am only 16 soon to be 17. I still have a long life ahead of me. It’s also hard because I don’t know who to trust. I just feel like now is my time to come clean about who I am as a person. I am not your typical 16 year old girl. For some reason many people think I am older than I actually am. People say it is the way I come off to people. My dad said I act very mature for my most of the time. There are some times when me and him don’t see eye to eye and things get out of control. That does happened a lot, but when it does it gets bad.

I am a Christian. My family never taught me about God. When my dad made me come to this private school I got taught about God. I believe that if you make a mistake and ask God for forgiveness he will forgive you. If you ask God into your heart you will go to heaven. I do have those people that look at me and say stuff like I’m not a Christian because the mistakes I made. I don’t let that bother me because I know God sees me as his child. If it wasn’t for God I don’t know where I would be. Even though I said that my dad was there for me through everything, God has been there more. He is the one who I can depend on more than anyone else in this world.

Everything that I heard about God took me a while to understand. Because as a young child I never thought that he was real. Getting into my middle school years I understood that he was real, and that everything that he did was true. I look up to God as my motivation to do the best I can. He is the one who helps me through the toughest times. He is the one that helped me when no one else understood me. Because of him I am a different person. I am not perfect because no one is perfect. Well when I say my family didn’t teach me about God, they didn’t. I learned myself when my dad didn’t know what to do me so he put me in a Catholic school. I honestly hated the school. Anyways, my life has changed because of God. He just helped me and loved me when no one else could. Sometimes I hate life because I feel like there is no reason for me to be here, but when I turn to God all that changes.

I am so thankful for everything that I have. I know that there is more that I could possibly have, but with everything I have now is the best. I have a father who loves me like his own, friends that are there for me, a boyfriend who loves me and cares about me. That is all I need to keep me happy. Don’t even get me started on my boyfriend. He is the best thing in the world. That boy is my everything, I don’t care what people say. He is the smile on my face. I could never see myself without him.

My boyfriend not a lot of people know about, but there are a lot of people that know about him. I can never stop thinking about him. I always talk about him to my closest friends. Greg is the one person in this world that understands me for me. He isn’t like any other guy I dated. Even though the way we talk to each other makes it seem like we fight and argue it’s the way we talk to each other. I don’t know what it is about him. There is just something about him that makes me fall in love with him.

I don’t know, but I honestly think I am in love! I don’t care what others have to say. They don’t know how I feel and they don’t know him. Yes I know for a 16 year old girl every girl says they are in love and the next day they break up, but no one sees it but me. Greg and I will never ever break up! We will always be together. Something about him makes me fall in love with him more and more each day. I just wish he were here so he could see how much I love him. Every night I cry a little because he isn’t here. I will do whatever it takes to keep that boy. I will never ever lose him. See me and him will always be.

The simplest things he does make me smile. When I am having a bad day he makes everything all better. He can never do anything wrong. I am just so happy that he is in my life. God puts people in your life for a reason, and I see the reason why God put Greg in my life. God put him in my life to show me that I can learn how to love someone. He taught me that I don’t have to keep a wall built up forever so no one can get to me. Greg has the best traits. He knows what to say to make me laugh. He knows how to keep me from being mad at him. No matter how much we fight or argue in the end I will always love that boy.
My life somewhat changed since I met him. Honestly I was very indecisive about everything. But since I met him I knew how to make my own decisions. It did take a while for me to understand what it meant to be my own person, but he helped me out! Even though Greg doesn’t know my whole story one day he will. I just want to tell him when I know I won’t be scared.

I just want to be my own person. Being my own person is the best. Like one of my favorite teachers told me once. No one is better at being you than you! I thought about that and I really connected to that. For the longest time I was always trying to be someone else. And then I realized that people look at you for you. Or well most people do. Others look at you for what they want you to be. But I don’t care about them. I only care about the people who love me for me and care about me for doing my best.

Being able to know what it is like to be loved is a good feeling. Like all my life I had people that said they loved me, but they never did. My mom said she loved me with all the letters she wrote me, but she lied big time. She said she changed from her old ways. My dad never loved me only because he didn’t want me. I bet that if he wanted me he would love me. As a child growing up it was hard, and believe me I mean hard. So many people lied to me about little things that hurt me in the long run. I can’t change that. I can only except if for what it is.

My life is still hard. Things change all the time. I just have to deal with it. The one thing I am happy about is that no matter what my boyfriend is there to help me through it all. I can go to him with the biggest problem, he won’t be able to solve it but he is able to help me through it. I also have God. The hardest thing that I have to deal with now is not being able to go home. I haven’t been home for over 2 months. It is hard, but I just have to think about the small things that keep my mind off of it.

Home is my get away. When things go wrong here at school I normally go home every weekend to take all the stress away. The fact that I haven’t been home for a long time adds just a little bit more stress. No big deal that’s why I have my friends and boyfriend to talk to. One of the hardest things for me here at school is not being able to see my boyfriend. He lives 2 hours and 36 minutes away. Now that is hard. I don’t know how I did it, mange to date someone far away and still be happy. I guess it’s the fact that Greg makes me happy and that’s all that matters most of the time. My dad always told me to never date someone that you can’t always see because you don’t know how they act when you’re not around. The one thing I told my dad was trust.

I trust Greg with my life. I know he won’t do something stupid or cheat on me because I trust him. If anything I’m scared of myself. I am scared that I might start flirting with another guy that isn’t him. Even though people say flirting isn’t cheating it can slowly lead to cheating. I am just scared for myself only because sometimes I don’t know how to act. It’s not that I don’t know how to act; it’s just that I’m scared I could go too far with another friend of mind and then I will hurt Greg. But as long as I keep my distance I have nothing to worry about. Plus Greg knows how I feel and how much I love him. If anything I will take care of him, and I will do whatever it takes to keep him