A Rebellion, Underground | Teen Ink

A Rebellion, Underground

April 5, 2012
By LiteraryMastermind BRONZE, Graytown, Connecticut
LiteraryMastermind BRONZE, Graytown, Connecticut
1 article 0 photos 39 comments

Summary:

It all started when the doorbell rang six times, and the Coyote came into Kane's apartment. Then he escaped the city. Then across the countryside. Then further, out of Stein.

Kane thinks all the running and fightning is over when he settles in a new, free land. But the Steins want to take it over, so Kane joins the Secrecy, an organization bent on taking down the Steins. He must fight for his freedom


LiteraryMastermind

A Rebellion, Underground


Similar books


JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This book has 11 comments.


ShadowRealms said...
on Apr. 23 2012 at 11:18 am
Amazing use of suspence and action. The details were flawless and I could picture it all! Though I was a bit confused about the beginning. Upload more, please!

Kipitama said...
on Apr. 13 2012 at 8:58 am
Kipitama, Council Bluffs, Iowa
0 articles 0 photos 185 comments

Favorite Quote:
"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind." (Bartoletti, Campbell)

Hey!You're doing a great job here!I like it.(And also, can you please keep writing on the other threads also?I'm hanging by a thread by myself.)

on Apr. 8 2012 at 1:27 pm
LiteraryMastermind BRONZE, Graytown, Connecticut
1 article 0 photos 39 comments
Yeah, I am. I understand where the confusion about why everything is happening, though. I'm going to explain the history using flashback methods, starting with the next chapter I will submit. It seems like that was a common problem!

on Apr. 7 2012 at 1:33 pm
Allicat001 SILVER, Waukesha, Wisconsin
6 articles 0 photos 170 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Love is not someone you can live with, love is someone you can&#039;t live without.&quot; <br /> <br /> &quot;Always stand up for what&#039;s right even if that means you&#039;re standing alone.&quot;

Whoops I meant you need to post more!

on Apr. 7 2012 at 1:31 pm
Allicat001 SILVER, Waukesha, Wisconsin
6 articles 0 photos 170 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Love is not someone you can live with, love is someone you can&#039;t live without.&quot; <br /> <br /> &quot;Always stand up for what&#039;s right even if that means you&#039;re standing alone.&quot;

You paid meticulous attention to detail and the suspense was amazing!  I have to admit I was slightly confused about why your protagonist was running from the Stein.  Maybe putting in a prologue would help?  Otherwise this is a flawless piece and I need to post more:)

on Apr. 7 2012 at 11:19 am
LiteraryMastermind BRONZE, Graytown, Connecticut
1 article 0 photos 39 comments
Thanks for the feedback! Oh, and coyote is a popular term for people who help others cross borders, usually the US/ Mexico one. I simply input it into this story.I kind-of wrote the first two chapters of this story in one hours, so I didn't really elaborate on the premise of the situation. Thanks for the feedback again!

on Apr. 7 2012 at 11:13 am
Tatiel PLATINUM, Washington, Vermont
23 articles 21 photos 57 comments

Favorite Quote:
Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.<br /> ~Mark Twain

This is good! The suspense is perfect. I love ytour characters, although it is a little confusing why the man is called a Coyote. Is that the common title of people who help others escape the city? If so, you may want to make that clear. Also, WHY are they trying to escape in the first place? Maybe put in a paragraph or two in the beginning explaining the reason he needs to escape and what/who Coyotes are. 

Also, the only other thing I noticed is that Kane and Stein are pronounced very similarly...you may one to change one of them to make the names more different.

 

Other than that, though, very nice job! I enjoyed it. =D


on Apr. 6 2012 at 5:18 pm
Blue_rose BRONZE, Kingshill, Other
1 article 0 photos 4 comments
I read the whole thing so far and I love it. I absolutely love "The Coyote" or Alex Fransor. He’s a funny yet serious character. This is a very interesting read and I want to know what happens next. The suspense is killing me!!!!!

on Apr. 6 2012 at 1:31 pm
LiteraryMastermind BRONZE, Graytown, Connecticut
1 article 0 photos 39 comments
I guess the confusion came from a typo, refering to Kane as 'it', right?

on Apr. 6 2012 at 1:04 pm
LiteraryMastermind BRONZE, Graytown, Connecticut
1 article 0 photos 39 comments
He's not a shape shifter - but I guess the opening scenes could have been a little confusing.

on Apr. 6 2012 at 10:48 am
Blue_rose BRONZE, Kingshill, Other
1 article 0 photos 4 comments
I like it so far. It is descriptive and interesting. So I am going to assume that this person is a shape shifter who is running from the Steins. I like the concept. Good job!!!