Entry 1
September 8th 1845
Mother gave me this journal to write down what I feel and how I think. She says that it can help me when I grow up and want to tell my kids about how I immigrated to America. She says this is probably the most important experience of my life and that I should record every moment of this journey. I don’t agree with her. I hate immigrating. I hate this boat. All I want is to be back in Ireland. I’m getting sick from writing. I’ll write once I feel better.


-Love Ashling Browne

Entry #1:
Date: October 21, 1876.
Today nothing will make my happiness go away, for I am in the land of the free. Very early this morning, the ship that I rode from Ireland arrived at a crowded port in Boston. It took half the afternoon to get all of the passengers off, and the luggage off with them. Now, I am finally free. I have moved into a small rundown cottage with my family and another family that lived near us in Ireland. The cottage is quite small, but it will work for now. I am hoping to get a stable job, and then we will move into a bigger apartment, I might even save up enough for a mansion. I have heard from others who have been living here for a while, that the Irish don’t get very good jobs. They say that I would be lucky to get a job laying train tracks or mining coal. That’s not what I have in mind though, I am aiming for a political position, or maybe even something involved in the economy. At least, that’s what I was doing back in Ireland. By the way, I did not mention it before, but my name is Collin MacActeer. I’m 20 years old, and I’m here in America to start a new life with my family.
It is my first night here in America. The job interview went well, at least I think it did. The employer did not seem very friendly though. There was a sign outside his door saying, “No Irish Need Apply.” I don’t understand why? The Irish are hard workers and trustworthy, the Americans must have us confused with another ethnic group. I applied to be a town police officer. I have had some experience with safety patrol and it would be nice to have a respectable job. Anyways, my wife has made a hot pot of bacon and cabbage. The children are enjoying our new home as well. They will be starting school next week and I hope that goes well for them.

-Collin MacActeer
Entry 1
March 1st, 1850:
We arrived in America today. It was a long journey but now we have finally reached our new home for the next few months or years. I don’t know how long we will be here, but I hope it isn’t long. All six of my children and my wife barely fit in the shack I managed to find. As soon as we got off the boat all of us Irish had to stick together and find a home. We all settled into a small area next to a bigger town. The floor of the shack is mud so I don’t know how it will hold up in the rain. The main part of the shack was too small for my big family and we had to build on to it using cardboard boxes that I found. My family looks really scared and I am too but, I gotta stay strong for them and show them that we can do this. I need to make America and this shack seem as much like home as possible.
~Dylan Brennan




Entry 2
September 9th 1845
There is nothing to do on this boat except wait. It’s already been 3 months. Father says we’ll arrive in America soon. Alby and William are getting wrestles. Oh, Alby and William are my little brothers. Alby is 4 and William is 7. I’m 11 years old. Mother says that I’ll have a lot of responsibility once we settle down because I’m the oldest. I don’t want responsibility. I want to play games and be a child. I don’t want to grow up. I’m getting seasick again, till tomorrow.


-Love Ashling Browne

Entry #2:
Date: November 5, 1876.
I gave up trying to become a police officer. The day after I applied, two large American men came to my house and threatened to hurt my family if I followed through with the job application. I immediately agreed, and promised not to get in their way again. The men scared me. I am angry though, is that what I get for wanting to become a police officer. My wife has found a job as a housemaid. She only works half a day though, and spends the rest of time working around our house. My wife works in the house of a very rich American, and often tells us stories of their wealth during supper time. I tried to become an employee at the local grocery, but they said they had too many workers already. My expectations for employment have lowered exponentially. I still don’t understand why the Americans don’t want us in the workforce though? What have we done? Our savings were running low and I decided I needed to find a way to bring in an income fast. Our neighbor works at the train tracks, and today I will be going with him. He tells me that the work is hard, but it’s worth having food on the table each night. I have to go now, I will be meeting him to walk to the tracks soon.

My hands are covered in blisters. My back aches. My neck is the color of a ripe tomato, and each muscle in my arms are sore. ‘Hard work’ was an understatement, laying train tracks is awful. It reminds me of working in the fields as the child. I got a measly payment of $1.15. It was just enough to buy groceries for the day. I am sorry I wrote so little, I am exhausted from my day.

-Collin MacActeer
Entry 2
March 2nd, 1850:
We have started to settle and the nicest thing happened today. I met a woman who is a fantastic traditional step dancer and she told me she was giving lessons in her little shack down the road. The children can now continue with the step dancing that they left behind to come here. Today my wife Anna and I took the four youngest children to a public school and got them enrolled so that they can start going to school and making friends right away! Ava and Liam stayed home. Ava is almost 21 so she will stay with Anna and help clean the house and make meals and look after the young ones. Tomorrow Liam and I are going to go look for a job so that we can start to earn a living. The children came home today and they showed me all that they had learned. (put in traditional steps). Today I also had to purchase new shoes for the children. I knew that when we lived in Ireland they always got the best new step shoes I could find but now I can’t afford that. I looked all over the nearest town to find either find step shoes or step shoes that were at a reasonable price. I didn’t find either. On my way home I saw a house with the front door open. When I walked by I could see a huge assortment of different shoes. I knocked on the door and a woman’s voice told me to come in. I traded a little bit of my time to help her with handy work around the house for enough shoes for my children. This womans job was selling shoes! I hope that I never get poor enough to have to sell all my things. It makes me sad just to think how close I am to doing so.
~Dylan Brennan

Entry 5
September 12th 1845
We finally arrived! I wasn’t sure what it would be like here in America, but so far everyone is very welcoming. The people are offering to take our bags and lend us some money. One nice man gave us directions to some cheap but my father didn’t accept his offer because he thought that man was a phony. As I am writing this, my father is currently trying to find us a new home while we wait for my mother to get food. I was told to watch my brothers and not talk to strangers. There are so many people around us. I should probably stop writing and watch my brothers now. Goodbye.


-Love Ashling Browne
Entry 10
September 15th 1845
We found a place to live, but we have to share it with other Irish families that came here like us. My mother says be grateful that we were able to find this home, but I don’t like sharing, especially not my bed. I’ll be starting school soon. I’m really nervous, I don’t want the other kids to make fun of me. The other kids I met say that school isn’t fun and that they get made fun of for being Catholic. Why would other kids do that?


-Love Ashling Browne
Entry 3
March 3rd, 1850:
Well, the job hunting didn’t go too well. There were lots of other men looking for jobs and they all seemed to be Irish. Whenever Liam and I went anywhere near a job sight and they heard our accents we got yelled at and there was no way that we were going to get a job there. Liam got really upset and told me that this wasn’t right and I agreed. We saw lots of signs and they all said help wanted but under that it said that Irish need not apply. I’m starting to get real worried. I came here for a better start and now I feel like I have let my family down. There is absolutely no reason my son should have had to go through that today. As if my day wasn’t going bad enough today the four younger children came home in tears. I was so surprised at what they had had happened to them! They told me that the other children as school had made fun of them. I knew that things had been rough for the older ones that had to live with the adults that hate us, but I didn’t think that the children would have to hear all this hatred. These young children that were calling my kids filthy probably learned this from their parents. It makes me so sad to think that a place I always thought was so full of new beginnings and freedom treats us so horribly.
~Dylan Brennan


Entry #10:
Date: March 14, 1877
The election went well, much better than I even expected! I did not win, but I was not expecting to win. I did get a fair amount of votes though, I was quite surprised! I am proud of my family most of all though, they have settled into to life here so well! I pushed them out of their comfort zone in Ireland, and made them uproot and come to America. It wasn’t good at first, but everything is coming together now. I am proud of my family, and I think that we will continue to live a fair and luxurious life here in America.

-Collin MacActeer

Entry 18
September 23rd 1845
I started school today. I hated it. Mom says that I shouldn’t use the word hate because it’s mean and too strong, but I hated school. I arrived in class and all the kids stared at me. When the teacher wasn’t looking they spit wet paper at me and kicked my desk. When it was lunchtime the American kids wouldn’t let me sit with them. I ended up sitting with a couple of other Irish kids like me. They never looked at me though. The food was gross, and the teachers were telling me things that I’ve never learned before. I want to go home so badly.


-Ashling Browne

Entry 45
June 4th 1853:
The most wonderful things has happened today. Ava my eldest daughter told us today that she is engaged! Both Anna and I knew that a nice young man that lived down the street had his eyes on Ava. Everything really hasn’t been going our way so it is so refreshing to have something exciting happen.
I just came back from talking to Anna and Ava about her wedding. I am still very happy and now I can look forward to July 10th when my little girl is finally going to get married. I am not too happy because Ava doesn’t want a traditional Irish wedding. I know that things have all been very bad for us since we left Ireland but I thought that the Children and my wife would also want to keep our traditions strong. I insisted that I would play the bagpipes. I even offered to use the little money we have to by a special honey wine. Anna said she would even be willing to splurge and buy some white lace to make Ava a handkerchief. Ava wanted none of this and the only thing that even resembled a Irish wedding was the wedding ring that my wife was going to pass down to Ava. I want what is best for my daughter and I want to make her happy but if she doesn’t have a traditional wedding I am sure that we are definitely going to lose touch with our roots. On top of all this the younger children want to stop dancing. Their teacher moved her studio now that she has more money. The Children are passing more and more people on their walk home. I think that all the discrimination is really getting to me. I can’t stand to see my children like this. Some times is still wonder if moving to America was the right decision.
~Dylan Brennan


Entry #3:
Date: November 11, 1876.
I cannot believe it, Dillan Colman, our neighbor, was stoned half to death. I heard about it from my wife. She says that it happened the other day when he was getting his paycheck for working the tracks in town. As he was leaving the office, a group of rowdy Americans wearing black hats attacked him. They yelled at him to get out of America, and other nasty things a new immigrant would never want to hear. Then the group threw large rocks at him. Dillan was able to make it home, but as soon as he did, he passed out. His wife quickly took him to the nearest doctor and he is still currently there. There was an extra long service for him on Sunday. I am frustrated at the Americans, I appreciate that they let us come into their country, but we are people too. We deserve to have a right to work and live. The past week I have been working on the tracks. I have become accustomed to the hard work, and I am able to get more work done, and bring home a large check. I even worked in the coals mines one day. I have decided to give half of my paycheck to the Colmans tomorrow, after all Dillan can’t work and I wouldn’t want them to go hungry. My children are enjoying school, they say that some other kids hate it though. America isn’t the dream that I thought it would be, but it’s better than Ireland in many ways.

-Collin MacActeer

Entry 20
September 25th 1845
Two more days of school has passed and nothing has changed. I get mocked everyday about my religion. What’s so bad about being Catholic? I don’t understand. I tried talking to mother about it but she was too busy cleaning and getting ready for supper. I haven’t seen daddy in a long time. He’s always so busy trying to find a good job and when he’s not doing that he’s working down at the mines or on the train tracks. Mother gets worried a lot. I can’t tell them that I’m having trouble at school now; they’ll think I’m being childish.


-Ashling Browne
Entry 26
October 1st 1845
Tomorrow is September. I can’t believe it’s almost been a month since we arrived. I hate every second of being here; I don’t like the school, the people, and my house. It isn’t even my house; it’s a shared home. In school we are learning how to write. My teacher says that my writing is very good for an immigrant at my age. What is that supposed to mean? I’ve always been a good writer, that’s why mother gave me this journal; so I could write. I love writing so much; it’s the only thing that reminds me of home. I can express all of my feelings on paper and I won’t be judged, especially not by those pesky kids at school.


-Ashling Browne

Entry #9:
Date: March 10, 1877
Today is the day of the election and my nerves are getting the best of me! I know that I have no chance of winning, but still the excitement of it all can be a lot. Not much time to sit around and journal, sorry!

-Collin MacActeer

Entry 56
September 24, 1854:
Today I lost my job. I don’t know what to do. I almost had enough money to buy a real cottage and move my family away from this shack. The Children are getting sick and I am really starting to wonder if moving to America was the best idea. I know that we had to get away from Ireland. We were not eating and the children would have surely died. I am now thinking of giving up. All the things that I believe in are losing their value. If my family can’t walk down the street without being discriminated against it makes me wonder if I am the one doing the wrong thing. Is it something we did that was offensive to others? Today an Anti-Irish group came through our little village. They lit a few houses on fire and the O’Connell’s all died in their home. This infuriated the whole neighborhood. They ran away once they had realized what they did, but they didn’t leave with out reminding us for the upteenth time that we were filthy pigs that brought diseases and we were sick, alcoholics without many morals and values. I have been here for four years and I feel like things are never going to get better.
~Dylan Brennan

P.S I thought of a way to get the kids from teasing me. I hope it works, wish me luck.

Entry 27
October 2nd 1845
School got a little bit better today, but I still strongly dislike it. I told you I had a plan in yesterday’s journal, and I put it to action. The kids didn’t spit wet balls at me anymore and the kicking stopped, but I still had to sit with the Irish outcasts. I don’t think that what I did was wrong; no one is going to get hurt. All I did was tell the kids that I’ve decided that Catholicism is stupid and that I don’t practice it anymore. They looked at me strangely and walked away. I can’t tell mother about this now because she’ll get mad at me for hiding my religion, she always tells me to be proud of it. She even warned us that the people in Boston wouldn’t accept us right away. I’m sorry mother.


-Ashling

Entry #4:
Date November 21, 1876
Today I met a Mexican immigrant on the train tracks. There aren’t many other immigrants in America now so it was nice to meet him. He couldn’t speak a lot of English, but he was friendly. We talked about struggles we have had here. When he asked me what rules were against me though, I was confused. Laws? The Mexican immigrant, I soon learned his name is Jose, told me that there are a lot of laws preventing Mexicans from crossing the border. I wasn’t aware of these laws, almost makes the Irish look privileged. We didn’t talk for much longer though, he needed to go work on a different part of the tracks. Later when I got home, I talked to my wife about this. She said that it took her friend Rosie, who is also a Mexican immigrant, 2 years to become a legal citizen. I guess maybe us Irish don’t have it as hard as other. My family has settled well into our new life. My wife has made many new friends because of her job, and enjoys going there everyday. The children struggled at first, but are now well accustomed to the schools here. Dillon Colman is improving greatly every day, I am hoping that he will be back on his feet by the end of the week.

-Collin MacActeer

Entry 35
October 9th 1845
School is so much better now! Today I got to sit with the American kids! Oh how fun it was! They laughed and told me stories about their families and I told them stories about immigrating over here. I came home with a big smile on my face and mother knew that something had happened. I told her how I had a good day at school and how I think that I’m making new friends. I can’t wait to go to school tomorrow.


-Love Ashling Browne

Entry 78
January 1st, 1855:
My luck has finally changed! I got a job working at a farm that is not too far from here. My boss will pay for me to take the train there and back. I will even be paid more than minimal wage.
I will save up enough money and my family and I will be able to move into a home. Oh dear I do think it slipped my mind. It has been over A year since I have written to/in you. I saved up enough to patch the leaky roof of our little shack. I am over the moon we will be able to purchase our own little cottage. We will no longer have to live were the much is so thick that it is like quicksand. We will move away from here and we will never again have to smell the smell of too many people living in a place that should really house one or two people. Finally things are looking up and it looks like coming to America was really the best decision that my family has ever made. You may be wondering how my children are doing. My boys begged me to stop dance and they did but I went back to the woman that sold shoes and bought a bag pipe from her. I taught the boys and while the girls go to dance the boys and I practice the bagpipes. Ava never did get married her fiancè called off the wedding and she wasn’t too upset because he wasn’t the right person anyways. I didn’t tell her but I was very happy. My oldest son however did get married and I am proud to say that he had a very traditional wedding. The children now walk to school with minimal problems with people making them.
~Dylan Brennan

Entry #5:
Date: December 21, 1876
Life in America is stressful these days. There are four days until Christmas, and I am working longer hours now. Even with my working all day every day, the pay is just not enough. We have been cutting back on a lot of privileges and eating less and less. I have noticed that my children have become awfully scrawny and it makes me terribly sad. The children enjoyed their new school until the second week. They were bullied and even hurt occasionally, the children say it is because they are Irish Catholic. My wife and I made a critical decision to enroll our children in the local Irish Catholic Parish. This way the children will be able to worship, pray and learn at the same time. The curriculum here is the states is harder though, and they must work a lot harder than back in Ireland. My wife has been secretly making the girls’ dresses out of scraps her boss throws away. I’m afraid that this year’s Christmas will not be very special. I continue to work at the train tracks, I have become a bit of a regular actually. As far as I know, none of us Irish have been tormented or beaten by the Americans lately, I’m considering taking a trip to the employment office and trying to get a better job in the next couple of months. I do apologize for not writing, every night when I come home I am too exhausted to do anything. My wife says laying train tracks has made me more irritable and tired all of the time, but I have become stronger. I was able to add an extra layer of mud to the outside of the house. The people living with us have moved out, and nobody took their place. We were able to spread out our belongings and use the room of the whole cottage. The house is definitely immensely cold during the winter months, but we are making it through. As I said, the extra layer of mudd really helps. I will try to write more frequently, but it’s hard to find the energy after a hard day on the tracks. My wife has also mentioned starting a journal, but I don’t think hers will be continued very far, her day is even busier taking care of the kids. Political elections for the new governor of Boston start very soon. I might try to run. Who knows, I’ll just not mention that I’m Irish. Well, it’s getting late and my fingers are very cold from being exposed this whole time, I can’t write very well with my gloves. I promise to write soon.

-Collin MacActeer
Entry 55
October 29th 1845
Pretending to not be Catholic is getting harder now. Pretending that I don’t like Catholicism is hard because all the other children believe that I’m not Catholic. They want me to do the same things they do and say things they say but I don’t want to. They wonder why and say things like “you’re weird” or “grow up” because they think I’m just being a baby. The school year is just beginning. I don’t want to hide anymore.


-Ashling Browne
Entry 70
November 13th 1845
It’s getting very cold here in Boston. I’ve had to do more and more around the house lately. Alby is always so cold, and William is always hungry. My father keeps getting sick because he is always outside working. I just want winter end, but it’s just begun. School is horrible. I have to walk through the thick snow everyday and when I finally arrive my feet are terribly cold. It’s not even worth it; going to school. It’s basically a prison, a prison where I can’t be true to myself. The kids are getting more and more suspicious everyday. The further I get myself into this, the deeper my grave gets.


-Ashling

Entry #6:
Date: February 4,1877
Can you believe it, it’s already the new year! My spirits have been lifted and life has been going very well the past weeks. I didn’t want to mention it before, but I put in an application to become a citizen of the United States. I can only run for governor if I am a citizen. I got the application back, and drumroll... I AM AN AMERICAN CITIZEN! Wow, my family and I went out to dinner for the first times in years to celebrate this amazing achievement. Now that I am an American citizen I just need to get a respectable job to show that I can contribute to society. I have decided to go out for real estate. That is a job in high demand, so many they won’t be so picky about who they employ. I have been saving up a lot of money. Soon I am hoping to get a repairman to fix up the cottage and add a wood layer to the outside of the house. The children are doing better at school in the parish, and are increasing their religious knowledge a lot as well. Wish me luck, I am going for the job interview today.

-Collin MacActeer

Entry 118
December 31st 1845
Everybody here is celebrating Christmas. It’s this holiday where Santa Claus visits children at night and he brings them presents. I wish I had presents. Winter is only a couple months away from ending. I haven’t been writing as much because I’ve had so much school work and housework. Father hasn’t returned to us since last week. I’m so worried that something happened to him. I don’t want to think about him out there in the snow freezing…I finally got the other Irish children to talk to me. They told me their names and I introduced myself. I told them why I had gone with the other kids, and how I am scared now. They told me they would help me if I needed it. I’m so glad that I have them.


-Ashling Browne

Entry #8:
Date: March 2 1877,
I have been getting a lot of headaches lately. I don’t know what they are from though, possibly just the stress of all the things that I am doing. I have put my name in to become a new governor. I know it’s probably not likely that I will be elected, but it will help me in the future. I will be looking forward to the election though, I did not view myself doing that a few months ago. I am looking forward to St. Patricks Day, my family and I are going to the parade in New York City. America is beginning to feel like home. I feel that the Americans have begun to accept us as a part of their culture as well. My children are enjoying school in the parish, and we are planning to go on a family trip to Virginia soon. All the pieces seem to be falling together, so I wonder what the future will be like. I certainly would not have guessed that I would be this far today. I’ll write later.

-Collin MacActeer

Entry 150
February 1st 1846
It’s the New Year! How wonderful! I’ve been waiting for this day for a long time. I stayed up until midnight last night to watch the clock turn to twelve. Father finally came from the train tracks to celebrate with us! Mother made us a big dinner and I finally am not left hungry. Alby and William have smiles on their face, which I haven’t seen in a while. We got a couple weeks off of school because we’ve been having blizzards and for the holidays. School got a lot better because I finally told the kids that I am Catholic again. They’ve started picking on me again, but that’s okay because I play with the Irish children. They are really nice. I also told my parents about what happened at school. They weren’t very happy but they told me I made a very grown up decision. I guess that growing up isn’t that bad after all.


-Love Ashling Browne

Entry #7:
Date: February 21, 1877
It took a long time, but I got the job. I had to fill out a lot more papers than just the original form, but it was all worth it in the end. My ethnicity was not mentioned a lot, so that’s good. It turns out that Mr. Venland, my employer, has a granddaughter who is half Irish anyway. I will be starting work on Monday, I am very nervous, I have to make a good impression. Well my wife is working on a new suit to wear so I will look the part as well. I’ve got to go now, I’m going to play a nice game of football with my kids. Talk to you later!

-Collin MacActeer

P.S My birthday is next week. I’ll be 12!
Entry 194
March 17th 1846
Well, today is St. Patrick’s Day and the streets are filled with people. All my eyes see is green and glitter. All my ears hear is Irish folk music. The music seems to be reaching ever inch and every corner of Boston. There are ladies dancing in beautiful dresses while men swing dance around them. I didn’t know there were so many people that were Irish. I felt so alone in this world because of my culture. For dinner tonight my mother is making shepherds pie, I can’t wait. I’ve missed shepherds pie so much. This day couldn’t get any better. I can tell everything is going to be okay now. Thank you so much Ireland, for all that you have given me. I am blessed to have been from such an amazing country. Now I live in Boston and oh how I miss you, but here I go to school and have great friends that are just like me. I have a home filled with loving families and every year I am able to have this wonderful day to celebrate where I come from and who I am. I bet the other kids are jealous and that’s why they tease me. I’m glad I have this journal; my children can remember all the great things about where they come from because of this. I am Ashling Browne and I am from Ireland, but now I finally accept the fact that a part of me is now a citizen of the United States. I am an Irish American, and I am free.

Entry #11:
Date: March 17, 1877
Today is the St. Patricks Day Parade. I knew it was going to be good when I looked outside and the river near our small cottage had turned a nice shade of green. What a surprise, I would never have guessed this much spirit from the Americans. My wife even made us all green pancakes today using a special food dye she bought from the store. After my family was wearing as much green as we had, we began our commute to the center of New York City. After much trouble getting lost, we finally made it. The children took off right away to buy some Irish delicacies, and all the treats they missed from Ireland. My wife and I went to listen to some good Irish jams. The parade was quite a swell time, I think it really helped my family to reconnect with our motherland, Ireland. With our bellies full of shepards pie, our feet tired from swing dancing, and our heads full of folk music, we commuted home. Although the transition to life in America brought it’s struggles, I can’t imagine where we would be. I feel that the parade has concluded our conversion into American culture. Home sweet home, that’s my America.

-Collin MacActeer

Entry 102
March 17th, 1990
Happy St. Patricks day! This is one of my favorite holidays. All the children are here for the weekend. Ava finally got married and to my great pleasure it was a very traditional wedding. Liam and his wife came to our new cottage. They brought the newest addition to the family. Two twin boys! Liam even got a job working as a policeman. This is such great news! Things were looking up earlier but now things are really getting so much better! It is hard to imagine how things were when we first moved here. I was just looking back at some of my old entries and everything was so miserable. I thought back to the potato famine and it made me so sad to think about everything my children and my wife had to leave behind. I was looking back at how persistent I was at trying to keep up our traditions and family values. In hindsight I am so happy that I kept pushing to have these values. Even today I see so many people that were our neighbors when we first got here that have given up their old beliefs and values. They have no traditions and their children and they grandchildren will never know the kind of things that they all went through to get out of the potato famine. I know that I have been through a lot and it didn’t seem like it was worth it in the beginning but now all my children are happy and they all still have a strong sense of their heritage. Even though I keep saying how glad I am that we really focused on being Irish I am also very interested in the new things that this new land, America has taught me. I learn new things every day! I am just so happy that this experience turned out good.
~Dylan Brennan