“Why Why Why Why Why Why Why?” Rory was next to me screaming at the ceiling.

“Rory,” I said calmly. “it’s okay. We have each other. A family. We’ll be okay.”

“Yeah, it’s alright. Everything up there is junk. we have all of the good stuff, right? Our family. And anything else we needed. Now, take all of the stuff to the basement, especially food. and get into the war zone. MOVE! Dad. Always making the best of things. When we get all of the food and our boxes into the war zone, I lay down on my cot and fell asleep.






***

I woke up to a body next to me.

“Rory?”

“Yeah. If I had one more chance with my little sister, I’m going to take it.”

I smiled even though he couldn’t see it.

“If you’re not going now, when are you going?”

“Honestly, I don’t think I’m going anytime soon. Excited?”

“Kinda. Although, I think I wanted to see you bravely fulfill you dream of being in the army.”

“I don't know if I want to leave you yet. We’ve been here for twelve years and I still don't know who they are. They are a dark mystery to me. Maybe one day we can figure David and Aleksandra out but I guess it’s a little too late.”

“I know that I love them so I feel safe. But I still need you you know. You’re all I had left. Of mom, or dad. Of my true my family. You know, we’re the mysteries. Not David and Aleksandra. I was thinking about it and I still don’t know who or where we came from.”

“Does it really matter that much to you. Like really matter?”

“Kinda. I’d like to know where I truly came from. I don’t like being a mystery. It’s difficult.”

I don’t either. But I have you and that’s all that matters. But I have also realized that everyone takes for granted what they have. They don’t know what they have until it’s gone. Do you know what I mean?”

“Yeah. I do.”

“Well,” I said trying to stay strong, “we have right now and we should enjoy it instead of taking it for granted. And depending on how Russia looks, this could be the last for a very long time.” Notice how I said trying to be strong. Inside I was dying. I was falling off of the edge of the world and never stopping. Ever. I’ll never reach the bottom. And I had nothing to hold onto to slow my fall. Just fallin fast but never stopping. Imagine that for a minute. “How long are you going to be gone?”

“Fourteen months.”

“So, you’ll be here after my thirteenth birthday? Fine, but I get your room.” I said trying to lighten up the mood.

“Under one condition, you clean it the day before I get back.”

“Fine.” I groaned.

“Ariana?”

“What?”

“If I leave you have to promise me something. You have to write to me.”

“I don’t think...I promise.”













***

I woke up in the morning alone.

“Ariana! Time to get up!!”

“Daad! Five more minutes!”

“Nope. Your breakfast is getting cold.”

So, I grudgingly got up. I looked at Rory’s bed. I was empty. No suitcase. No note. Nothing. I started uncontrollably shaking.

“Oh sweetie.” Mom’s gentle voice still couldn’t soothe me. Her touch didn’t snap me back to reality either. “He left this morning. We were all up. But, he wouldn;t wake you up.”

I couldn’t help myself. I collapsed into a heap.









***

When I woke up, I had everyone crowded around me. Everyone except for the person i cared for most, Rory. Tears were rolling down my face.

“He said he wouldn’t wake you up because he talked to you late last night. He didn’t think you would let him go.”

“Well you know what? He was right! I wouldn’t have let him go and you shouldn’t have either! I can’t believe you didn’t even try!” I don’t know why I was taking it out on them. it wasn’t their fault. I sounded like a spoiled brat. Like Anastasia the grand duchess. I was just in shock.

“Honey, we-”

“No! You didn’t try hard enough! He’s not here!” I was sobbing. “I didn’t want him to go.” I said quietly. “He was all I had left. Now he’s gone, too.”

I sat down and silently sobbed. When they walked away, Aaron sat down next to me.

“Hey.” He said quietly.

“Hi.”

“I tried. I really did. Tried to wake you up, tried to make him stay. I begged, I Pleaded. He was hesitant to go but, he went.”

“Aaron.”

“What?”

“I love you more than words can express.”

“I know.”

And I slept like a dead man.












***

I woke up in in the morning and I knew I had been crying. I suddenly had a flashback from when I was little. It was really strange and I don’t know how it happened. But nonetheless. It was still there.

It was a cold and dreary night. I was a year old. My parents had just died and Rory and I were abandoned. While I was sleeping, he took me out of bed and carried me outside. He walked me to the orphanage. When we got there, we went in and got rooms. When the police showed up asking questions, I sat huddling in a corner. I was like a wild animal just brought into captivity. Rory answered questions with the headmistress. The next day, we were up for adoption.

Then the memory kind of faded. I got out of bed and walked into the makeshift kitchen. My parents jumped up from their pillows and rushed at me to give me a hug.

“We love you baby. It doesn't matter if you were adopted or not. You’re ours.”

I hugged them and held back tears.

“I love you guys and I thank God you found us or we would still be there.”

“We were searching for two turtle doves. A pair.” Mom said with a smile.

Then I realized I was missing something.

“Where’s Aaron?”

“Still sleeping.”

“Okay, I’ll be right back.”

I ran to Aaron’s cot and sat down.

“Aaron, wake up. Please. We need to talk.”

Aaron rolled over onto his side and looked me in the eyes. It was like looking into a mirror except, it was looking inside at my heart. His eyes and face were blanketed with sorrow. Apparently I was crying at his facial appearances because he reached out and wiped a tear from my cheek. He reached out and hugged me. And the walls that I had standing around my heart from before came crashing down.

“It’s okay. I promise. He’s going to come back.But I swear this to you. I will never leave you. But the first thing we’ll do is write him a letter. When I found out he was enlisting, I started to save money for stamps. We have enough money to write to him every week for 2 years. And I sent him away with my stamp collection from my parents. We’ll make it through this. I promise.”

“Are you sure you can promise something like that with me. I’m a little bit vulnerable right now.”

Absolutely. I swear.”