My name is Harmony Blake. I was a 4th grader in Mrs. Helen's class at Rabbitfoot Elementary. I lived in Salt Lake City, Utah with my mom, dad, little sister, and older brother. Today’s date is December 12, 2020. Today is a special day because it marks the 3rd anniversary of the day I died. I was murdered on December 12, 2017. My life ended short and it hadn't even began yet. My brother, Xavier, was the typical overprotective older brother who made sure nothing bad happened to me. Sadly, he couldn't protect me this time. My little sister, Belle, always imitated my actions and movements which annoyed me, but yet showed me that she looked up to me as a role model. I miss my existence. I miss laughing with my family at the dinner table, sitting in the living room cuddling with my mommy, and sitting on my daddy’s shoulders on our walks through the park. Most people believe that life stops after death, but it doesn't. I’m an invisible soul who roams around the earth and only can be seen by those who are dead. On the bright side, I met some pretty cool people during the time of my death. My best friend is Max, who was killed along with me that day. I would like to take you back to the day I was murdered.

“Wake up sleepy head!” said a loud and annoying voice. I opened my eyes slowly only to find my little sister hovering over me like an obsessive fan. “Its time for breakfast, don’t you smell the sausage?” I slipped on my slippers and headed downstairs to the smell of pancakes and sausage coming my way. “I hope you’re hungry honey, we made lots.” said Mom. “I’m starving”, I replied as my stomach growled. I sat right next to my brother because he always helped me cut my pancakes when I was in a struggle. I was so hungry that I took my little sisters leftovers and half of my moms eggs. “You’re going to be a sumo wrestler one day if you eat like this all the time” Xavier said hysterically. “Then I will finally be stronger than you!” I said sarcastically. “After school I will teach you a karate move to kick bad guy’s a…” “Xavier!” yelled mom across the room, “you will not use that kind of language in this house!” Xavier looked at me with a wink because I knew what he was trying to say.

After breakfast, I gave my mom and dad a kiss, then got a piggy back ride down the stairs and to the front porch from my brother as I headed toward the sidewalk. “Be safe today sis, love you” said Xavier sounding a little bit concerned, but loving. “Love you too Xavier. Come on Belle, or we’re going to be late” I screamed from the front of the porch to her who was still upstairs. We walk to school because it was around the corner from our house. I took my little sister to kindergarden class because our elementary school wasn’t connected to the day care center. I walked up to her classroom to sign her in and ran to class because I was almost late. Today was show & tell, so I brought in my brothers 3rd degree black belt with his permission. I admired my brother the most because he understood me when mom and dad wouldn’t understand. We presented towards the end of the day and I was around the 6th to go. As I walked up to the front of the class and was about to present, I was cut off by the announcement bell. We all laughed for a split second because it was a coincidence for the announcements to come on right when I was about to talk. The laughter soon came to a complete stop when we realized that the announcement was not a joke. The principle spoke frantically into the microphone as if he was suffocating from the lack of air. “Everyone lock your doors and make sure your children are sa…” said the principle as a gunshot cut him off. Our whole class froze in silence because we all heard what we knew sounded like a gunshot. I started to shake in the front of the class, clinching my brothers karate belt for dear life. Our teacher, Mrs. Webster, locked the door and huddled us all up in a corner where we cried and all cuddled. “It’ll be alright class, the shooter won’t come in here if the doors are locked” said Mrs. Helen frightenedly. I knew she didn't mean that just based off of the tone of her voice.
Only 15 minutes have passed, but yet I felt like I was being held hostage for hours. The gunshots came closer from classroom to classroom and all I heard were screams and loud firecracker sounds throughout the whole school. My heart throbbed so loud and I could not stop crying and gasping. About a minute later, the shooter was in the classroom next to us and we heard the sounds of the children and teacher screaming as shots were fired. My friend Bethany was in that class. As soon as the gunshots stopped, the whole class went silent and that’s when we knew that everyone really died. We could hear the shooter approach our classroom door and started to jiggle the handle. Struggling to open the door, the shooter shot through the little glass window and managed to break in. Everyone froze as if we were playing extreme freeze tag. I grabbed the hand of my friend Max in one hand, and held my brothers belt in my other. All I could think about was my family and how I wanted to be at home hoping this was all a bad dream and I would wake up and go cry in mothers arms. I knew my thoughts were just only thoughts. I remember Max whispering in my ear that he loved me and I said I loved him too, even though I didn’t really mean it. The shooter observed all of us for a moment as if we were not human. Mrs. Webster stood up boldly, but nervously to try and negotiate with him. “Sir, please. These kids have families and would like to return home safely. Please dont hurt them…” He stared at her as if she was a stupid fool and shot her in the head. Everyone screamed so loud that my ears blew out for a split second. Everyone started to run around the classroom frantically as the shooter blocked the door and began shooting at point blank range. I got up and ran towards the window to hopefully break through the screen and jump out. All I could see were my friends falling down, and I could hear the screams my friends becoming dimmer.
Almost towards the window, I heard two gunshots right behind me. The first one was very close behind me, but the second one struck me right in the back of my neck. Falling to the floor, I only had about 3 seconds to see this world again. I used it by reminiscing my life and how it could’ve been if I lived through this. As I released my last breathe, I began to see a bright light that led me towards the sky and above the clouds. It was a place where the true meaning of beautiful was originated. Death didn’t seem so bad from my perspective, but I could only imagine how everyone on earth felt about loved ones who they knew that died.
After I finished fathoming the beautiful view of the place they called heaven, I immediately wanted to run around and explore all the beautiful scenery and mansion houses. As I ran around, I met children my age doing the exact same thing as me. That made me realize that their were really people like me who died young. I came across this man who glowed very brightly, not like any of the angels in heaven. I think they called him Jesus. “Umm...excuse me Mr. Jesus?” I said scaredly. “Yes, my child?” Jesus said very calmly. “Did you make all this stuff?” chuckling a little bit, he replied “Yes. Would you like to see your very own beautiful castle?” My heart started to beat rapidly and started to scream yes a thousand times.

My castle was just like I pictured that it would be. It had pink walls, cupcake seats, teddy bear servants, and had a strawberry lemonade fountain in the middle of the house. I was living the dream of every little girl who wanted to grow up and live in a castle with her prince charming. Sadly, I didn’t have a prince charming so I was just an independent queen.
Later that day in heaven, I started to feel lonely in my castle since my family didn’t live in heaven with me. I started to feel homesick and wanted to spend time with them. I had a thought that maybe I could go to earth in spirit form and see how everyone is doing. My parents always said that people watch over you when they die. If that’s true, then Jesus should let me watch over them on earth. I walk up to him as he is praying at his throne. “Umm...excuse me, Mr. Jesus?” I said a little nervously, “Yes, my child?” he responded very calmly. “Can I go down in spiritual form and see how my family is doing, pretty please?” I begged. “Im sorry my child, but that won’t happen.” His answer crushed me to bits. I knew he wouldn’t change his mind no matter how hard I tried to convince him.
I ran away from Jesus, hoping to go cry my eyes out somewhere where I could be alone. I ran into a tropical forest where only animals were, and I hugged a tree and pretended like it was my mother’s arms. I cried hard. Harder than any other time I’ve cried while I was alive. I thought that there was no sorrow or unhappiness in heaven. Why was I so uncomfortable with where my life ended, than where my life once started? After crying on the tree for a little bit, a hand came behind me and touched my shoulder. My first impression was Jesus, but the hand was too small to be Jesus’. I turned around a little angry for being interrupted from my depression to find Max standing right in front of me. I immediately wiped away my tears and tried to convince him that I wasn’t crying even though it was obvious that I was. “Why’re you crying Harmony?” asked Max. “Nothing, nothing.” I replied falsely.
After talking to Max for a little while, I finally calmed down and could smile again. “I heard that loved ones are watching down on you when you go to heaven, if that’s true, then why can’t I see my family”? “You can.” he said positively. “HOW!” I said demandingly, but not trying to sound mean. Max gave me a demonstration of how to channel your spiritual energy with your mind and it could take you to go to earth. “How did you do that!? Jesus said that we can’t go down to earth.” I said helplessly. “He told me the same thing, only because he wanted to teach me a lesson”. Max explained. I was very confused at first, but since I was not doing anything else at the moment, he broke everything down to me and explained what was going on. After he finished his speech and presentation of how to channel his energy, I came to the understanding that Jesus only said no so that my love for my family wouldn’t keep me from seeing them. Which meant I would have to find out how to visit by myself and not with any guidance. Thankfully Max helped me realize that.
Max always helped me understand things when I was confused and upset. With the lesson we just learned, Max and I turned into spiritual realm and transported down to earth. We were exactly where we died, when we arrived. The investigators were going classroom to classroom and putting yellow tape around the doors because the scene was very gory. I was shot in the neck so my body was very hard to recognize. Max’s identity was a little more noticeable because he was shot in the back. I wanted to leave the classroom immediately because the sight was just too hard to look at. As we left the classroom, I saw a large group of people in front of the school.
I could see my friends parents with pictures of them on boards saying “rest in peace”, and I could see the remaining 4 students left in our class who survived. They were being interviewed on what happened during the attack, but I could sense that they didn’t want to reminisce on those horrific hours. I looked around more and more looking at all the depressed faces of everyone. I slightly moved my eyes to the right of Bethany’s family, to find my parents and siblings crying their eyes out while holding most of my possessive items. My mom was holding my favorite pillow, my dad held the card I gave him for fathers day, my little sister held my favorite teddy bear which I was relieved that she survived, and my brother held his locket that I gave him for christmas last year.

“Today on breaking news, we are standing in front of Rabbitfoot Elementary where investigators say 84 people were killed, including students, parents, and even the principals.” said the news broadcaster. It was the biggest school shooting in history and I was among one of the dead ones. Why couldn't it have been a different school at a different time? Why specifically our school full of elementary kids from pre-k to 5th grade who haven't done anything wrong to society?