Is the first word that pops up in your head, love? What if I am here to tell you that you are wrong and I am referring to loneliness? Shocking isn't it? Well, thinking deeper, isn't loneliness something we are all familiar with too? I have always been a fan of late night conversations— simply because it is in the quietness of the night that our thoughts and feelings are more poignant. And there is something so raw, so foreign about the night that makes your soul feel so naked. In the dark, things are much more terrifying as much as they are comforting, aren't they? Maybe it's because shadowed by the darkness, we are hidden and it feels like you are the only one out there. I have always been fascinated by the concept of learning to be alone and have made it one of my greatest motivations; to embrace and derive joy from being alone.

A few years back, I did it for the first time willingly. I bought myself sushi, lemonade and sat in one of the apartment pavilions, reading a book and simply reflecting about life. The crystal blue water, the lazy breeze in the afternoon and the flipping of the pages of my book were my company, and I enjoyed the experience. I realized loneliness can be self-satisfying in a positive way and I urge each one of you out there to try it out. People-watching at coffee shops or even doing your hobby in solitude is being alone in your own bubble.

No matter how old we are, at some point in time, we all experience loneliness. It's something that we can't run away from; it's a realization that makes us sink deep beneath, and in a sense, alone. I find it hard to put feeling alone into words and all I can say it's a feeling that is always there, waiting to envelop you. If we are lucky, we have loved ones who thwarts this feeling. But sometimes when we are unlucky, we are unfortunately captured and consumed by loneliness with a ferocity that we thought does not exist.

It's indeed a paradox to say that we are actually not alone in feeling alone. And it's puzzling as to why we never really voice out our opinions on it, at least not the way we should be. Ironically, I guess it is presumed that we should go through it alone. I used to have late night conversations with my closest friend and each time, I try my best to pour my heart out but fail. I realized that even with billions of words out there, there can never be a word which captures the feeling of loneliness entirely. The feeling of being isolated from everyone is an indescribable feeling, one so painful that it tugs at your heartstrings desperately. And despite my futile attempts to explain my feelings, I'm glad that she understands. The way her eyes expresses the very emotion, how her lips quiver and the slight nods in agreement to what I said. I read somewhere that "Loneliness is a feeling that transcends any and all language. It is a language in itself, and everybody is fluent." I fully agree with this, just like love, loneliness is language we all understand.

Have you ever wondered how different the world would be if we were more honest about how we feel? If only every "How are you?" don't end up with a monotonous, "unreal" "I am fine, what about you?. What if we bothered to speak about how we actually feel? Would the world be a better place to live in? We can't always rely on books and movies to strike a chord with us and make us ponder about the universe and how we are influenced about it.

We don't have to be completely honest and pour our heart out the next time someone asks us about our day, but maybe just be a little bit more honest with yourself and the rest of the world. Who knows, maybe your heart will become a tad lighter? And maybe we might realize that we are never actually really alone in this universe and be comforted by this mere fact.