I’ve been “clean” since August, 2021.  No, I’m not talking about nicotine, or alcohol, or other drugs (although I do think I’m seriously addicted to coffee).  I’m talking about social media.  It all started about a year ago last August when I deleted TikTok, partially as a punishment from my parents, but also to see its benefits on my mental health.  About two months ago, I permanently deleted both my Snapchat, and Instagram accounts, and have never had Facebook. I can confidently say that I have been so much better off without the constant stress of social media in my life.  Being off of social media I’ve been able to take a step back, and recognize the toxicity of those platforms, and inspire others to take action in their own life.  

Recently, I’ve been following the Facebook Whistleblower case, and considering its impact in my own life.  Hearing Frances Haugen speak to the fact that teenage girls in particular are getting the majority of the negative aspects of social media, such as depression and anxiety was, and continues to be, infuriating.  Seeing my closest friends struggle with depression and anxiety due to social media,  and being unable to communicate the reason behind it has been something that I’ve been grappling with since I deleted the harmful platforms.  In talking to my peers at school, something that really stuck with me was how much kids wish that they could quit, but much like an addiction, they lack the ability to do so.  This comes in many forms, such as a fear of being made fun of, a fear of missing out on social events, and a general anxiety that they will be seen as “less than” their peers for making the choice.  One of my peers even said “God, you’re so strong… I wish I could do that.”  Her response to my question of “Why not?” was “I don’t know… just not possible for me I guess.”  

Social media has taken on the form similar to that of a severe addiction.  It completely takes over our thoughts.  We, as a society, cannot live our day to day lives without social media… or can we?  Keeping track of the Facebook Whistleblower case has sparked several feelings inside of me such as anger, betrayal, and sadness for my community and generation.  We have grown up with social media in our lives, and been taught to trust it.  Only now, 17 years later, someone has brought to light the dangers we all face.  This feeling of betrayal that many of my peers and I feel is sweeping across the nation and around the world.  

The effects of Facebook’s harmful platform not only affects teenagers, but the younger generations as well.  When I first heard about the new Instagram for kids, I was furious.  “How can Facebook know how harmful it is, and continue to expand into the minds of CHILDREN?” I thought.  After seeing how harmful it is for me and my peers, I could not even fathom introducing this to little kids.  I began to imagine my little cousins becoming what I had become over my 7 years of having social media: sad, insecure, anxious, desperate to fit in.  Honestly, it brought me to tears.  I would never wish those feelings on anyone, especially not the people that I love.  

I don’t pretend to understand the algorithms that the tech companies use to show us what they do, but I can say with 100% certainty that it has made my life harder, less focused, and not the fullest it could be.  I was caught in a negative cycle seemingly unable to break it.  I would go onto Instagram or Tiktok, look at all these effortlessly thin girls, with six packs, and a golden tan on vacation in Hawai’i.  In turn I would feel worse about myself, and about my own life, and turn to social media as a coping mechanism.  I was not somebody who was on social media all the time.  I had time limits, rules and parental intervention all along the way.  This cycle has been in place since I was just 11… now I’m almost 17.  Being lied to and manipulated by these platforms has caused so many problems in my own life, and in the world, that it left me no choice but to remove myself from them.  Since walking away from social media, I have done more and more research on studies focused on these platforms, and explored my feelings of betrayal by these platforms.  

Social media has infiltrated almost every single person’s life.  It creates a misleading feeling of trust in the platform, while simultaneously instilling a feeling of fear deep into us.  That fear slowly eats away at our mental health, without us even being aware of what's happening.  Caught up in the negative feedback loop, it is only when we take a step back that we see the toxicity social media leeches into our lives.  Being able to step back has helped me create more interpersonal connections, even more so than being connected through social media has.  At first, I was nervous to see how people would react.  I had so much anxiety about being made fun of, that I was shocked to find out that nobody cared, nor did they think less of me as a person.  Much like grieving, the adjustment to a no social media lifestyle has its ups and downs.  Some days I would feel the happiest I’ve ever felt.  Others, I felt like I was missing out, and like I wasn’t a “normal” kid.  

Ultimately, I am so thankful for that initial push to delete social media from my parents.  I have become a stronger, healthier, and happier person.  I could not have asked for a better support system from my friends and my family.  Throughout this personal endeavor, they have made an incredible effort to keep me in the loop, and to make sure I always feel included.  I encourage everyone to take some time, and explore the benefits of being “off the grid” for some time.  You never know how one small action could change your life.