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Toxic
The word love tastes like cyanide,
I'm only attracted to toxic relationships,
I don't know why.
His body is a drug and I'm a drug addict.
Drugs kill people,
Like he's killing me.
But I don't know the difference between co-dependence and love
he's my dopamine
and too much of it can kill
but when I'm with him I don't know when to stop
There is no rehab for the lovesick.
There are no medications to cure loneliness,
This is what I get for trying to save you.
When I tried to save you I lost myself,
I lost myself in the lust that you made me believe was love
I lost myself in empty words.
It was like trying to drink the last drop of an empty bottle
Now that I've lost myself I can't help but to think the only way anyone is going to love me is to use my body
It's the only way I know how to love.
the only way I know how to love is through meaningless sex.
I don't know why I believe you when you say it isn't my body that makes you attracted to me.
I don't know why I mix lust with love
or why I try to find that feeling
this isn't who I used to be.
you don't know who you are until it's gone
I've spent 3 years trying to find myself
But I always end up at a dead end.
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I consider this work of poetry to be one my best works. I do hope you enjoy it.