I wish I could understand
Who wanted her
Existence
Enveloped and tortured
By a constant pain

I wish I could understand
What it is
The twisted, sickening
Corruption
That lives in her head.

I wish I could understand
Where it went
Her rhythm, her rhyme, her
Vibe
I scan the horizon, and all I see
Are the vast, empty spaces of a music staff
Straight lines, no curves, no notes.
Just silence.

I wish I could understand
Why
Every day she struggles
Every day it hurts
Every day can’t pass quickly enough before the whole world
Crumbles
Cracking into the abyss that lives rent-free

I wish I could understand
When is the
“Right”
Time to
Ask.
Please?
Did I miss it?
Am I already too late?

I wish I could understand
How to help,
To support,
To better myself.

Her face,
Contorted by her smile,
God, how her mask stabs me!

What is it that she did
To deserve such suffering?
What is it that I might do
To not know where my head is?
Where my thoughts are located in the jumble of words of my head?
Who can I yell at?
Who is in her corner?

How do I offer my hand to pull her up from the ground?
How do I hug her tightly?