​I knew it was over before it started.

My throat is dry.

My heart is silent. stagnant. unmoving. 

The last words I said to you replaying in my head.

You were the one.

You are the one.

No one is better than you. ​​

It’s only been minutes but we both know we have been separated longer than that.

I knew it was over before it started

I started to think you were no longer in love with me.

The opposite was true.

You were so in love with me that you couldn’t let your walls down enough to let me in.

I feel like my heart is a broken record.

The same thing happens when a new person is let in. 

Flirt, date, breakup. flirt, date, breakup.

That last day. 

The last day before. I feel like I’m in bliss. I talk about you. I say that "I love you".

You don’t say it back.

In fact, you haven’t said it back in weeks.

You didn’t even say it on our anniversary. 

I knew it was over before it started.

I want to spend my life with you.

Grow old.

Die happy with you.

But how can you love me when you can’t stare yourself in the eyes.

I knew it was over before it started.

You blame yourself,

A way of blaming me.

I say I’m sorry and I mean it.

My tears don’t dare to escape my eyes. 

I knew it was over before it started. 

I knew from the way you spoke to me

I'm so sorry.

I’ll never be able to repay you.

For all the laughs and smiles you brought to my beaten heart.

Being used started to feel normal to me. 

Every person just wanted someone who would be there for one reason only. 

I never thought that I could genuinely be loved.

“If I let you go, and you come back, maybe it is true love.” 

My love. I will never be over you.

But I will never come back.

I wish you happiness, and I see that you have that now.