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Sinking
October 21, 2022
To the people sinking once more, this is for you;
voices are too loud again,
not leaving your bed sounds better than doing anything at all,
sleep is better than being awake but you can't sleep with these loud thoughts.
To the people who are sinking once more;
Your body is heavy,
your feet are shackled,
the elephant sitting on your chest is getting to be too much,
gasping for air.
To the people who are just like me;
1...2...3...4...5
1...2...3...4...5
5 things I can see
4 things I can feel
3 things I can hear
2 things I can taste...
...tears, salty tears.
To the people;
I am also a person,
struggling to keep my head above the waterline.
- k.r.
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I preach about mental health on social media.
I share my experiences, but only the tip of the iceberg.
My social media is a facade of sunshine and rainbows so it seems I wouldn't have any experience or struggle with mental health, but I have struggled with it more than I say.
I don't share the panic attacks, or when my best friend has to wash my hair for me when I have no motivation to do so, or the days I can't even move from my bed, or the multiple hospitalizations to keep myself safe.
I don't share the mania, the moments I have convinced myself I am the best person to ever exist, the erratic mood swings, or the impulsive behaviors.
I preach about how it's okay not to be okay, that your body is a beautiful temple that you shouldn't change for anyone, and that it's okay to take medication.
But I don't emphasize the fact that I do understand the toll mental health can take on someone, that I am here to talk and I'd rather listen to your story than hear about something unfortunate happening to you.
So I put my experiences and feelings into poetry; It speaks in a way that I cannot.
I am finally ready to share these with other people in hopes that I can speak the thoughts and emotions other people aren't able to put into words.