All Nonfiction
- Bullying
- Books
- Academic
- Author Interviews
- Celebrity interviews
- College Articles
- College Essays
- Educator of the Year
- Heroes
- Interviews
- Memoir
- Personal Experience
- Sports
- Travel & Culture
All Opinions
- Bullying
- Current Events / Politics
- Discrimination
- Drugs / Alcohol / Smoking
- Entertainment / Celebrities
- Environment
- Love / Relationships
- Movies / Music / TV
- Pop Culture / Trends
- School / College
- Social Issues / Civics
- Spirituality / Religion
- Sports / Hobbies
All Hot Topics
- Bullying
- Community Service
- Environment
- Health
- Letters to the Editor
- Pride & Prejudice
- What Matters
- Back
Summer Guide
- Program Links
- Program Reviews
- Back
College Guide
- College Links
- College Reviews
- College Essays
- College Articles
- Back
Shapes
April 30, 2010
There’s a shape in my mouth that I just can’t avoid,
it drills holes in my tongue,
and diamonds in my teeth.
It greats everyone I meet,
everyone but you.
It hides between my lungs,
although it doesn’t help out,
sometimes it seeps from my mouth.
Air is what it is,
it’s what you take from me,
it leaves when you come around.
Leaves when I want to speak.
It doesn’t help my knees,
it blows against them,
makes them weak.
Perhaps it’s not the air,
or the words I try to form,
but my mouth itself
it’s so tired,
and worn.
© Becky G., Westville, OH
Similar Articles
Previous Next
JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 10 comments.
musicispassion PLATINUM said...
on Aug. 5 2011 at 11:04 pm
descriptive and i loke the metaphors great job keep up the goo work :p
Very nice. The last 8 lines really made the poem for me--I like how the view is slowly changed throughout the poem, from the cliche "I can't breathe when i'm around you" idea to the fact that there really might be a back story, ("my mouth itself is so tired and worn"). The only critique I have is the one spelling error.
silver_ice BRONZE said...
on Aug. 3 2011 at 7:22 pm
this is so pretty! when i saw the title i expected something different but this is sweet ;)
callmebaddog SILVER said...
on Aug. 2 2011 at 10:29 pm
I think I'm more cut out for romance, yes! And I don't really remember why my mouth was like that, not to detailed why either...hmmm. But thank you! If you are ever to post that poem let me know! I'd love to read it!
thetruthawaits94 SILVER said...
on Aug. 2 2011 at 10:15 pm
This is adorable! you're a bit of a romance writer aren't you? :) At least of the two poems i've read so far, lol! I wrote a a poem that was called "Out of Words, You Snatched My Sound" This poem reminded me of it. That poem isn't on the site though, so I'm not asking you to read it or anything... Anyway, One thing that threw me a bit was the end. why is your mouth tired and worn? Have you been talking a lot? Overall, I liked it a ton!
callmebaddog SILVER said...
on Aug. 2 2011 at 8:04 pm
Thanks guys! Most of these are a year or two old, I didn't really read over these before I posted them I guess! My bad! :P
JerseyGirl716 BRONZE said...
on Aug. 2 2011 at 7:37 pm
Couldn't agree more! Not much else to add, but just so you know "great" in stanza 2 should be "greet". Other than that, awesome job!
TwasBrilling BRONZE said...
on Aug. 2 2011 at 7:29 pm
Awesome! Very well written...you kept me guessing, on the edge of my seat, until stanza 4!
