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Boston

July 20, 2010
By KatB14 SILVER, Chesapeake, Virginia
More by this author
KatB14 SILVER, Chesapeake, Virginia
8 articles 0 photos 41 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;You don&#039;t always get the waterfall short-cut in Mario-Kart. That&#039;s life.&quot;-I.P.<br /> <br /> &quot;Doubt thou the stars are fire; Doubt that the sun doth move; Doubt truth to be a liar; But never doubt I love.&quot; -Hamlet

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A secret learned
A tear fallen
My heart weeps
Your friendship is stolen
Alone, you go
To find a new life
All alone, and hurt
Feeling of the sharp knife,
The images and sounds
Never truly fades.
I can only imagine
The horrid chapter in your book’s page.
I want to take it all away;
The pain, the memories, the life you must now live in.
Eyes flat, soul abducted,
Body torn, unwillingly given.
I wish I could help, but there’s no turning back now.
You are leaving, I wish I could stop you
And help you fight the foul
Creature who has touched your
Beauty, your innocence.
Took what was not his
And left hate and fear in his absence.
So you go, far, far away
And I may never see you again.
But I want you to know
You have my love, my help, my heart, my friend,
Whenever you may need me.

© Kaylen C., St. Clair, MI

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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 11 comments.

Joyce_Cankar said...
on Aug. 20 2010 at 2:15 pm
Joyce_Cankar, Montreal, Other
0 articles 0 photos 23 comments
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Of course. 
KatB14 SILVER said...
on Aug. 20 2010 at 2:14 pm
KatB14 SILVER, Chesapeake, Virginia
8 articles 0 photos 41 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;You don&#039;t always get the waterfall short-cut in Mario-Kart. That&#039;s life.&quot;-I.P.<br /> <br /> &quot;Doubt thou the stars are fire; Doubt that the sun doth move; Doubt truth to be a liar; But never doubt I love.&quot; -Hamlet

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sure thing :) could you look at those forums i told you about in the last poem?
Joyce_Cankar said...
on Aug. 20 2010 at 2:13 pm
Joyce_Cankar, Montreal, Other
0 articles 0 photos 23 comments
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Well it doesn't really need to be changed. Maybe edit it? Anyways. Would mind checking out my poetry? I'd greatly appreciate.
KatB14 SILVER said...
on Aug. 20 2010 at 2:11 pm
KatB14 SILVER, Chesapeake, Virginia
8 articles 0 photos 41 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;You don&#039;t always get the waterfall short-cut in Mario-Kart. That&#039;s life.&quot;-I.P.<br /> <br /> &quot;Doubt thou the stars are fire; Doubt that the sun doth move; Doubt truth to be a liar; But never doubt I love.&quot; -Hamlet

View profile
thank you for your honesty, i just wrote this in a rush about a month ago because i couldnt go to sleep without getting it out of me. Im pretty sure i havent made changes to it since
Joyce_Cankar said...
on Aug. 20 2010 at 2:08 pm
Joyce_Cankar, Montreal, Other
0 articles 0 photos 23 comments
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Maybe spoon fed isn't the right term. Predictable is more appropriate. Look at the fourth line of the first stanza. "Your friendship is stolen". Right there and then I knew the whole poem. The situation and the feeling. I read a lot of Robert Frost. And I usually need to read his poems 5-8 times before I even get the bare knowledge of what he was trying to express. With "Boston", I had already figured the theme and meaning. Maybe I wasn't use to this sort of 'free-verse'. Therefor it felt 'spoon fed'. This is my reasoning.
KatB14 SILVER said...
on Aug. 20 2010 at 2:01 pm
KatB14 SILVER, Chesapeake, Virginia
8 articles 0 photos 41 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;You don&#039;t always get the waterfall short-cut in Mario-Kart. That&#039;s life.&quot;-I.P.<br /> <br /> &quot;Doubt thou the stars are fire; Doubt that the sun doth move; Doubt truth to be a liar; But never doubt I love.&quot; -Hamlet

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What do you mean by 'spoon fed'?
Joyce_Cankar said...
on Aug. 20 2010 at 1:54 pm
Joyce_Cankar, Montreal, Other
0 articles 0 photos 23 comments
View profile
As always the rhyming is expressive. However in my honest opinion I always feel like you're sort of spoon feeding the poem. I guess it's all about preference here. But at the end of the poem I feel as if I figured the ending in the middle. It's honest criticism, but I'm not saying it's bad.
KatB14 SILVER said...
on Aug. 15 2010 at 8:20 pm
KatB14 SILVER, Chesapeake, Virginia
8 articles 0 photos 41 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;You don&#039;t always get the waterfall short-cut in Mario-Kart. That&#039;s life.&quot;-I.P.<br /> <br /> &quot;Doubt thou the stars are fire; Doubt that the sun doth move; Doubt truth to be a liar; But never doubt I love.&quot; -Hamlet

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Wow, thank you. Thats a huge compliment. I wrote this to help me sleep, because that night my friend told me she had been raped, and was moving to Boston forever. It's from my point of view of the situation.
KatB14 SILVER said...
on Aug. 15 2010 at 8:18 pm
KatB14 SILVER, Chesapeake, Virginia
8 articles 0 photos 41 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;You don&#039;t always get the waterfall short-cut in Mario-Kart. That&#039;s life.&quot;-I.P.<br /> <br /> &quot;Doubt thou the stars are fire; Doubt that the sun doth move; Doubt truth to be a liar; But never doubt I love.&quot; -Hamlet

View profile
Wow, thats a huge compliment. Thank you! This is one of my most recent writings, its about how I felt the night my friend told me she had been raped and she was moving to Boston.
riley... GOLD said...
on Aug. 15 2010 at 8:14 pm
riley... GOLD, Yakima, Washington
13 articles 0 photos 73 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;i became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity.&quot; edgar allen poe.

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*site, not sight.
riley... GOLD said...
on Aug. 15 2010 at 8:13 pm
riley... GOLD, Yakima, Washington
13 articles 0 photos 73 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;i became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity.&quot; edgar allen poe.

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i must say, you are one of the best free-verse poets on this sight. you say so much without a distinct rhyme pattern, i wish i had that talent. 5/5 :)