You ask me my fear.
I respond, ‘I have none’
You ask me how that is
And simply I say, ‘it just is’
You move on, and all I can think is
‘If only you knew’

If only you knew
That one of my darkest fears
Has come true.
That I sit here
Holding back tears

If only you knew
How angry I feel,
Every muscle in my body
Tenses to spring
To act, to release.

If only you knew
How I blame myself,
How, my mind terrorizes
Every single part of my
Sole bring.

If only,
If somehow,
If maybe someone
Would realize
How I have nothing to fear
Because, my darkest fear
Has come true.

How no matter my efforts
There is simply
Nothing
That a child, like me
Can do