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The Girl with the Broken Mirror
There you are, or what’s left of you, at least
For your own sake, take a look at yourself
You must be the girl with the broken mirror
Because you’re not the girl I used to know
I remember the nights we spent
Laughing, smiling, making memories
Dreaming of Monday nights alone
With the girl I used to know
You surround yourself with fresh faces
Year after year, you’re all alone
Year after year, I try to forget
About the girl I used to know
I’m letting go of the fragile hope
This shadow of a wish in the back of my mind
That somewhere deep down inside you
Way deep down inside is the girl I used to know
The girl with the broken mirror
She can’t look at herself anymore
And it’s a shame you’ll never see
This girl I used to know
What changed you?
Where did it all go so wrong?
What changed you?
Who were you all along?
The girl with the broken mirror
She can’t look at herself anymore
And it’s a shame you’ll never see
This girl I used to know
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This article has 14 comments.
You're right, I did go a little bit overboard with my criticism, but I'm glad you understood what I meant, and I look forward to your next work :)
I understand what you mean about becoming as famous as "Twilight Saga in Two Minutes" and the other styled articles, but I think some stuff, like this poem in particular, is more of a way to just vent and get some feelings off of my chest, not to neccessarily become rich and famous.
You're an excellent writer as well, certainly one of the most creative I've seen :D
thankyou for the clarification i'm sorry that i made assumsitions alot of times my article will get rated by people who write alot of depressing work two things
1. you are an excellent writer but as i said before a little life needs to be put into your poems/stories they are rele intriguing but they will not be as famous as the articles "Her him and the receptionist" and "Twilight saga in two minutes" you are definitely on ur way and ur farther than i am because i started here recently. For the most part you take critisicm (sorry ik i spelled that wrong) extremely well and you are and excellent writer on teen ink you belong here
2. IF you are going to be the grammar critique then take a look at you last post and i'm not talking about spelling i'm talking about ur repetiveness. I got your point the first time u posted it. Once is enough. Repetiveness in writing is actually improper in grammar i did get it the first time.
First of all, you are making some incorrect assumptions about my ratings for your story. Sure, your story was humorous and I did enjoy it, but your writing style needed some work. The grammar and spelling particularly stuck out, and sometimes fixing it can be as simple as letting someone else read your work and edit it before submitting it.
As to the depressing nature of this particular piece, that's purely by design. If you ever have to watch someone you love change into someone you hate right before your eyes, you would come to understand where the inspiration for "The Girl with the Broken Mirror" comes from.
Thank you for your comment and thoughts nonetheless :D
