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I Really Don't Know
I don't know
when this started
I don't know
what first began this corruption.
I'm amazed at how much I've changed,
within a month,
I've become everything I've never wanted to be.
I want to take off the mask I am now wearing,
that I've criticized others for wearing...
It's suffocating the real me,
trapped inside,
I want to reverse this transformation.
This unwelcome possession of my soul,
and my tongue,
my lips,
my words,
I spit coated in fiery acid,
they stick and burn...
I close my heart,
and build walls...
I kill friendships with my keen edged words,
well placed,
to strike the heart.
I don't know
when ME stopped being good enough.
I don't care what people think,
but I don't feel pretty,
I feel plain,
ordinary,
and definitely,
not
special...
So I cover what I see...
Can you see?
God I hope not...
This is why
I am alone.
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Favorite Quote:
“If I speak in the tongues of angels, but have not love, I'm only a resounding noise , If I have the gift of knowledge, And if my faith moves mountains high, But have not love I am nothing… Though I know the One, Who holds the stars in the heavens, In the palm of His hand, If I give all I possess , To the poor and the helpless, I'll still gain nothing, Without love… Love's patient, True love is always kind, Love does not envy, Never brags, it's never proud, Slow to wrath, it keeps no records of wrongs against friends, Love forgives… It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (1 Corinthians 13:1-5,7)<br /> “If the world hates you, remember that it hated Me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.” John 15:18-19<br /> "The world is not respectable; it is mortal, tormented, confused, deluded forever; but it is shot through with beauty, with love, with glints of courage and laughter; and in these the spirit blooms..." ~ George Santayana