I have buried myself
In a meadow by the water
The service was short
One in attendance
An empty shell of who I was
And the spritely form of whom I was meant to be

Students have studied my mind
Delinquents have punished my flesh
I have been teased lectured drugged and arrested
Yet nothing has hurt more than my lack of understating of the most important thing

As my body rots and my tears dry
I know my journey is not yet done
Fate likes to play games and I am her favorite piece
But I have learned a lot in my thirteen years

I’ll never win
I’ll never have the last laugh or live a day pain free
I’ll never have luck riches or true happiness
Because true happiness doesn’t exist
There are no great coincidences or grand epiphanies
No guarantees lucky breaks or trusted deities
And I will never have any of these things

But
I will have love respect acceptance and validation
If not by the world than by my self
Because that’s really all you can trust

I drive the hearse far away from the meadow
With the knowledge that the road ahead will be laired with
Hate lust cruelty and neglect
And I smile and think
Ignorance is bliss