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The Crack of a Whip

May 11, 2011
By musicispassion PLATINUM, Perris, California
More by this author
musicispassion PLATINUM, Perris, California
35 articles 0 photos 733 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot; Life is never easy for those who dream.&quot;<br /> There are so many other quotes i need pages to write them

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The crack of a whip
a fateful sound
the creak of the desk
it makes my ears pound
the slow raspy breath of it's victim
it chills me to the bone
the drip of blood on the the floor
it makes my stomach turn
the shred of broken skin
it tears a scream from my throat
the deep cackle of the overseer
it breaks my heart
the thud of thunder
shakes me hard
the sobs of dear friends crying
it brings me harm
the crack of a whip
what a horrid sound

The author's comments:
This was a class assignment were supposed to make it an onomatopoeic poem and I thought of the book Cryer's Cross.
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 21 comments.

musicispassion PLATINUM said...
on Aug. 17 2011 at 11:47 pm
musicispassion PLATINUM, Perris, California
35 articles 0 photos 733 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot; Life is never easy for those who dream.&quot;<br /> There are so many other quotes i need pages to write them

View profile
wow thanks it means alot i appreciate it :p
SecretFlame PLATINUM said...
on Aug. 17 2011 at 8:49 pm
SecretFlame PLATINUM, Portland, Oregon
20 articles 1 photo 373 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I have a life. I just choose to ignore it.&quot;<br /> -one of my friends

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This is very striking. It stands out and makes your skin crawl, but at the same time won't let you stop reading. It really sucks you in. Emotional and fantastic!
musicispassion PLATINUM said...
on Aug. 17 2011 at 12:21 am
musicispassion PLATINUM, Perris, California
35 articles 0 photos 733 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot; Life is never easy for those who dream.&quot;<br /> There are so many other quotes i need pages to write them

View profile
thanks and no prob :P
BetweenWorks SILVER said...
on Aug. 17 2011 at 12:15 am
BetweenWorks SILVER, Charlotte, North Carolina
5 articles 0 photos 60 comments

Favorite Quote:
The meaning of life is a question that you have already answered.

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Great poem and thanks again for taking a look at my articles
musicispassion PLATINUM said...
on Jul. 17 2011 at 9:36 pm
musicispassion PLATINUM, Perris, California
35 articles 0 photos 733 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot; Life is never easy for those who dream.&quot;<br /> There are so many other quotes i need pages to write them

View profile
o gotcha :P
TheSilverLaurel GOLD said...
on Jul. 17 2011 at 4:10 pm
TheSilverLaurel GOLD, Goole, Other
13 articles 0 photos 70 comments
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because it shows how negatively you feel about the sounds, and the line 'it brings me harm' shows how strongly people feel abouttheir freinds.

it might jst be me, i get quite emotional. it's still an amazing piece.

musicispassion PLATINUM said...
on Jul. 17 2011 at 2:48 pm
musicispassion PLATINUM, Perris, California
35 articles 0 photos 733 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot; Life is never easy for those who dream.&quot;<br /> There are so many other quotes i need pages to write them

View profile
thanks i think my metaphors and similes are my strongest why was it emotoinal?
TheSilverLaurel GOLD said...
on Jul. 17 2011 at 12:29 pm
TheSilverLaurel GOLD, Goole, Other
13 articles 0 photos 70 comments
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this is really emotional, the imagery is amazing. not quite as good as some of your other poems, but still worth 5 stars
__horizon133 PLATINUM said...
on Jul. 10 2011 at 11:45 am
__horizon133 PLATINUM, Portage, Michigan
26 articles 0 photos 231 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;laugh, and the world laughs with you. laugh hysterically, and for no apparent reason, and they will leave you alone.&quot; anonymous

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thank you!
musicispassion PLATINUM said...
on Jul. 10 2011 at 12:49 am
musicispassion PLATINUM, Perris, California
35 articles 0 photos 733 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot; Life is never easy for those who dream.&quot;<br /> There are so many other quotes i need pages to write them

View profile
thanks i'm gonna look at some of ur stuff
__horizon133 PLATINUM said...
on Jul. 9 2011 at 12:18 pm
__horizon133 PLATINUM, Portage, Michigan
26 articles 0 photos 231 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;laugh, and the world laughs with you. laugh hysterically, and for no apparent reason, and they will leave you alone.&quot; anonymous

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rough and sad. it has a sort of dismal flow to it that i really like--well done.
musicispassion PLATINUM said...
on Jul. 8 2011 at 12:37 pm
musicispassion PLATINUM, Perris, California
35 articles 0 photos 733 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot; Life is never easy for those who dream.&quot;<br /> There are so many other quotes i need pages to write them

View profile
ya i just kinda wrote based of a book so the friend of the people watching is being whipped and I'm one of the friends sorry i know it's confusing thanks
MidnightFire PLATINUM said...
on Jul. 8 2011 at 10:44 am
MidnightFire PLATINUM, Lincoln, Illinois
40 articles 6 photos 239 comments

Favorite Quote:
&#039;Dream as if you will live forever, live as if you&#039;ll die tomorrow.&#039;<br /> for my sister: &#039;when life gives me lemons ... i eat them&#039;<br /> &#039;do not be afraid, be faithful&#039;<br /> &#039;God is not safe, but He&#039;s good&#039;

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So it's the friend thats being whipped? thats the only part that confuses me ... i like how the poem flows and all works togeather to bring the feeling of knowing pain and gives the picture
musicispassion PLATINUM said...
on Jun. 28 2011 at 12:49 pm
musicispassion PLATINUM, Perris, California
35 articles 0 photos 733 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot; Life is never easy for those who dream.&quot;<br /> There are so many other quotes i need pages to write them

View profile

of course

 

CarrieAnn13 GOLD said...
on Jun. 28 2011 at 9:00 am
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1646 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.&quot; --Douglas Adams<br /> <br /> &quot;The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.&quot; --Marcus Aurelius

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Thanks, musicispassion!  If you have time, could you read and comment on my novel, 'Romeo and Juliet--A Parody' (despite being a novel, it only has three chapters and a one paragraph epilogue).  If you don't want to or don't have time, then could you read a few of my book reviews?
musicispassion PLATINUM said...
on Jun. 28 2011 at 1:19 am
musicispassion PLATINUM, Perris, California
35 articles 0 photos 733 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot; Life is never easy for those who dream.&quot;<br /> There are so many other quotes i need pages to write them

View profile
thnak you i keep being told people like my imagery i'm going to look at some of ur stuff
musicispassion PLATINUM said...
on Jun. 28 2011 at 1:18 am
musicispassion PLATINUM, Perris, California
35 articles 0 photos 733 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot; Life is never easy for those who dream.&quot;<br /> There are so many other quotes i need pages to write them

View profile
i did get an A thank you don't want to sounf stupid again but what is cacophony
Finchy BRONZE said...
on Jun. 27 2011 at 11:39 pm
Finchy BRONZE, Fort Myers, Florida
3 articles 0 photos 9 comments
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Musicispassion

Left? Cacophony. Right? Cacophony. No matter where I look in this poem, all I see are very gruff, rough words that remind me of sand paper and snapping twigs. If you didn't get an A on your project, your teacher needs to go teach PE.

Cheers

Finchy

CarrieAnn13 GOLD said...
on Jun. 16 2011 at 9:36 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1646 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.&quot; --Douglas Adams<br /> <br /> &quot;The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.&quot; --Marcus Aurelius

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Great choice of words! The imagery was very vivid; I love this poem.
austenite GOLD said...
on Jun. 15 2011 at 7:12 pm
austenite GOLD, River Falls, Wisconsin
13 articles 0 photos 177 comments

Favorite Quote:
...one word from you will silence me forever. If, however, your feelings have changed, I will have to tell you: you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love....I love...I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on. -Mr. Darcy

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Wow - this is great! I really felt like I was there - the imagery is haunting!