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My Home...

August 20, 2011
By thelibrarian BRONZE, Longville, Louisiana
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thelibrarian BRONZE, Longville, Louisiana
1 article 0 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
men are like steel, if they lose thir temper, they lose thier worth











-chuck norris

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Rubble was all around, the walls barely standing
I saw boards and bricks thrown violently across our little patch of land
My home was gone
All my childhood had been spent here
All my memories would fade.
We would rebuild, but it would never be the same as
My home

© Ciara B., Kennesaw, GA

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sunny.all.day. GOLD said...
on Sep. 7 2011 at 6:40 pm
sunny.all.day. GOLD, Potomac, Maryland
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Favorite Quote:
"If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you."
— A.A. Milne (Winnie-the-Pooh)
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This is pretty good. But for the "all my childhood had been spent here/all my memories would fade." it's kind of like repetition, but since it's only two lines it's kind of... awkward? The phrasing of those two could be a little different :) but I like the idea. Would you mind looking at some of my poems please? :) keep writing!