In a Room of Children | Teen Ink

In a Room of Children

March 18, 2012
By DaisyAngel BRONZE, Sandy Springs, Georgia
DaisyAngel BRONZE, Sandy Springs, Georgia
3 articles 0 photos 65 comments

I am the one
In the front row
With the toothy grin.

My best friend,
Who is a trickster,
Sits beside me.

And the blonde-haired boy,
The one in the back,
Is my nemesis.

Behind the rows of children
Hangs a painting
That depicts our joyful lives.

But the teacher to the left,
Old and stern,
Ruins the image of youth.

And out the window
Grows a sapling
That changes as we do.


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This article has 19 comments.


Watson, GOLD said...
on May. 29 2012 at 8:32 pm
Watson, GOLD, Billings, Montana
18 articles 4 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
"When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth."

-Sherlock Holmes (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle)

Hey, just my opinion. It's totally your poem. It would be great if you changed it or if you left it, either way i think it's good. 

on May. 29 2012 at 8:18 pm
DaisyAngel BRONZE, Sandy Springs, Georgia
3 articles 0 photos 65 comments
I think that everyone is entitled to think whatever they want when they read a poem or story. That's the whole fun of it. But, if you must know, this poem was written simply as a class assignment. I was told to think of a grade level and write a poem. All of these people exist, and I just wrote it as I remembered. My first grade teacher was evil, which is why I made her seem so bitter. The boy in this poem was truly my enemy. The tree that grows outside my school started as a sapling, and now it stands tall. I just wanted to show that things change as you get older. Although we are once again friends, my trickster friend, who is now very mature, and I went through a rough patch. I don't care about the blond boy anymore, and I only brought him up because I was forced to write about a memorable time in my life. We all change, be it for the better or the worse. :)

on May. 29 2012 at 8:09 pm
DaisyAngel BRONZE, Sandy Springs, Georgia
3 articles 0 photos 65 comments
It wouldn't make any sense for me to do that, though, because each stanza focuses on a different person or object. Stanzas are just like paragraphs in prose. You wouldn't write about the different animals in Africa, give each animal a separate paragraph, and then put elephants and lions in the same paragraph. It would shift the focal point and possibly change the meaning of the story.

Watson, GOLD said...
on May. 27 2012 at 11:53 am
Watson, GOLD, Billings, Montana
18 articles 4 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
"When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth."

-Sherlock Holmes (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle)

I would maybe try and combine some of the stanzas, if that makes any sense :-), putting the first two together, for example...

I am the one 

In the front row

With the toothy grin

My Best friend

Who is a trickster

Sits beside me


on May. 26 2012 at 10:06 am
DaisyAngel BRONZE, Sandy Springs, Georgia
3 articles 0 photos 65 comments
How would I replace the stanzas in this poem? I'm just not sure what you mean. :D

deleted said...
on May. 22 2012 at 9:07 am
deleted, Miami, Florida
0 articles 0 photos 194 comments
Brought back memories of when I was little, good job :) Nice poem :)

butterfly123 said...
on May. 22 2012 at 5:09 am
butterfly123, Banglore, Other
0 articles 0 photos 408 comments
hey! i love the imagery. poems like this can have multiple meanings and can be interpreted by the reader in his/her own way , for example: behind_a_plastic _smile thought you were talking about  becoming bitter adults from naive kids but i thought of it as the personal and physical growth that we all undergo. i think you did a really good job :) keep writing :D

Watson, GOLD said...
on May. 21 2012 at 9:07 pm
Watson, GOLD, Billings, Montana
18 articles 4 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
"When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth."

-Sherlock Holmes (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle)

I like how you take a classroom and turn in into what it really is, if you know what I mean. Your explanation of a child's mind is fairly accurate as far as I can remember. The thing I would change is the way you space your stanzas, but like I said before, poetry is an artform. That's my "artistic" opinion.

on May. 21 2012 at 8:00 pm
Behind_a_Plastic_Smile GOLD, Roseville, California
17 articles 1 photo 129 comments

Favorite Quote:
"if you're not 1st you're last"

hmmm...interesting, i wanna say that it protrays the process and changes that go as we age from naive childen to bitter old people...am i rite?

on May. 21 2012 at 7:16 pm
IAmWhoIWantToBe PLATINUM, Manila, Other
41 articles 0 photos 650 comments

Favorite Quote:
‎"I’m learning how to drown out the constant noise that is such an inseparable part of my life. I don’t have to prove anything to anyone. I only have to follow my heart and concentrate on what I want to say to the world: I run my world." - Beyoncé

I like this poem. And I get what you mean. Or do I? I like how you introduce us to a usual beginning and let out what you really thought in the end. I really like the fourth to sixth lines especially. Keep it up!

Inksy SILVER said...
on May. 21 2012 at 4:02 pm
Inksy SILVER, NSL, Utah
7 articles 0 photos 89 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Three can keep a secret if two of them are dead"
~Benjamin Frankiln
"Love? Above all things I believe in love. Love is like oxygen. Love is a many splendored thing. Love lifts us up where we belong. All you need is love."
~Moulin Rouge

This made me smile. Not many poems do that. It was just adorable! It brings me back to memories of elementary school where we knew exactly who everyone was; and everything was hunky-dory (besides the strict teacher and the rude boys, of course (: ). Keep writing! 5/5

on May. 21 2012 at 3:49 pm
these-roses GOLD, Bristol, Indiana
14 articles 2 photos 37 comments

Favorite Quote:
so many books, so little time

maybe this is just me but i don't really get what the main idea is.... i mean i like it and all but some parts just confuse me :/

on May. 21 2012 at 3:25 pm
xXxXangelXxXx SILVER, Henderson, Texas
9 articles 0 photos 78 comments

Favorite Quote:
“Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself"
" Love and Loyalty Runs Deeper Than Blood!"
"A wise girl kisses, but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, leaves b4 shes left."

hey i really like this i love how its short and simple, like u didnt put a lot of thought into it yet it turned out perfect... kee[p up the gud work

 

 

 and u dont have to look at my stuff...


on Apr. 8 2012 at 2:34 pm
DaisyAngel BRONZE, Sandy Springs, Georgia
3 articles 0 photos 65 comments
Thanks so much for commenting!

on Apr. 8 2012 at 2:32 pm
DaisyAngel BRONZE, Sandy Springs, Georgia
3 articles 0 photos 65 comments
I'd love to! Thanks for commenting. I really appreciate it!

on Apr. 5 2012 at 7:25 am
ashlyn939 PLATINUM, Lynchburg, Virginia
34 articles 14 photos 75 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Love means holding on to someone just as hard as you can because if you don't, one blink and they might disappear... forever." -Ellen Hopkins, Impulse

THis is really good. It may be short but it tells a story

on Apr. 4 2012 at 9:52 pm
hippiechick99 GOLD, Mesquite, Texas
11 articles 0 photos 224 comments

Favorite Quote:
"... How dreary to be somebody-- How public like a frog;
To tell one's name; the livelong June-- To an admiring bog"
-Emily Dickinson

I really liked the ending. Check out my work.

on Apr. 2 2012 at 5:10 pm
DaisyAngel BRONZE, Sandy Springs, Georgia
3 articles 0 photos 65 comments
Thanks for commenting! I really appreciate it!

on Apr. 1 2012 at 11:30 pm
Nick Lee BRONZE, Centerville, Minnesota
2 articles 0 photos 2 comments
Very true. In so many ways.