Bio report title:
"Study of a Perfect Make-out Session"
Your parents ask why you’re going out with boyfriend
On a school night; your response –
“I need to collect data”
Might take several precise experiments
Multiple trials provide more statistics

Current Events
Showcase your knowledge of hot topics
Study Facebook, Twitter, and your email for latest news
Take all the juicy gossip
Make it juicier
And submit as research paper
A+

Math
1+1 means
Two is Better Than One
And when you’re 15
4 looks like Beyonce
50
And 27
Equals “first date dresses”

English paper
Written nite b4
– forgot its due 2MOR
Cause BFF dumped BF
Who sexted pics
To new GF
Gossip A+, Grade C-

Foreign Language
Impress teacher with extensive grasp on linguistics
Memorize every swear word
In French, Latin, German, Japanese, and Chinese
And don’t forget Russian
If you get perplexed looks, say
It helps with your “daily international communication skills”

Studies Abroad
Local club provides interesting case study
Of “ethnic movement”
Further insight provided by taking lessons
From that hot boy one table over
All your friends cheer
Motto: Got to explore in life

Communications Course
Assignment: Write a compelling persuasive speech to illustrate your point of view
Theme: “Thongs are in, Granny Pants Out!”
Mention the school wide survey
You conducted
Preferences and percents = popularity
Include pictures

GPA: B-