I wanted to tell you that I love you
I wanted to tell you that you were the most beautiful disaster that I have ever know.
I wanted to tell you that you were a storm splintered and shattered
That the melanin in your skin made your crown glisten so bright so the whole world would know you were a king.
I wanted to tell you that the sound of your voice reminded me of songs sung to the heavens too pure for the ears of poor sinners
I wanted to tell you that you reminded me of a love song that you never really see because most fathers are like God; you never see them but you know they exist.
Because you see when I was three you told me te amo más que la vida misma
How stupid was I to believe that love could have a happy ending, I see now that nobody gets a happy ending that life is not like Kindergarten fairy tales.
I am not a princess and my mother not a queen, so I don’t know why I expected a man out of you.
I wanted to tell you that I loved you but the only words that came to my lips were coward.
How could you pretend to love my mother but still end up in a cell that you’d spend so many years running away from.
How could you sit there with a straight face, tying us up in your web of lies making us feel at home there.
How could you sacrifice us for your cause that was never really a cause because you’ll never really know what you’re fighting for.
Nothing more than another victim in a senseless war that will never see an end.
How could you tell me to be strong for our people, to change our destiny and then leave me on my own trying not to fall into the grave you left waiting for me.
I wanted to tell you that I love you
I wanted to tell you that you were the most beautiful disaster that I have ever know.
I wanted to tell you that you were a storm splintered and shattered
That the melanin in your skin made your crown glisten so bright so the whole world would know you were a king.
I wanted to tell you that the sound of your voice reminded me of songs sung to the heavens too pure for the ears of poor sinners
I wanted to tell you that you reminded me of a love song that you never really see because most fathers are like God; you never see them but you know they exist.
I wanted to tell you that I forgive you.