Cotton Candy | Teen Ink

Cotton Candy MAG

October 25, 2008
By freedomfighter97 BRONZE, Lake Ann, Michigan
freedomfighter97 BRONZE, Lake Ann, Michigan
1 article 0 photos 11 comments

puffs of sweet fiberglass
dissolve into pink crystals
on the pinnacle of my tongue.

they fall like tickled icicles
puncturing the walls
of my abdomen.

still I consume
the addicting substance,
permitting my body
to slowly commit suicide.

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This article has 164 comments.

CaliGirl said...
on Jan. 8 2009 at 5:47 am
to the first comment i dont think you should try to strain this beautiful poem of every possible meaning and metaphor. just let it be. enjoy it. its really quite talented

on Jan. 5 2009 at 3:54 pm
Personally I'm not a big fan. I'm usually not very critical, and sorry if you dissagree, but let me tell you why. I'm not sure if this is supposed to be intrpreted as stright forward or interpreted in a metaphorical sense. If in the case its supposed to be metaphorical you should tie some things in to let the reader know that. If it is supposed to be straight forward and just be about the lack of nutrional value and our nature to indulge regardless, them well im not quite sure. Maybe I just don't get it. Either way, I at least have to give you props for the great imagery, really did a fantastic job with. The first six lines are very good.

Amlil22 said...
on Jan. 3 2009 at 10:46 pm
Sligthly disturbig but overall very lovely

Elisha said...
on Dec. 28 2008 at 10:20 pm
This is awesome! The imagery throughout the whole poem is incredible.