Cotton Candy | Teen Ink

Cotton Candy MAG

October 25, 2008
By freedomfighter97 BRONZE, Lake Ann, Michigan
freedomfighter97 BRONZE, Lake Ann, Michigan
1 article 0 photos 11 comments

puffs of sweet fiberglass
dissolve into pink crystals
on the pinnacle of my tongue.

they fall like tickled icicles
puncturing the walls
of my abdomen.

still I consume
the addicting substance,
permitting my body
to slowly commit suicide.

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This article has 164 comments.

Shay. BRONZE said...
on Sep. 12 2010 at 11:22 am
Shay. BRONZE, Dayton, Wyoming
3 articles 0 photos 4 comments
Haha. This is beautiful!

on Aug. 21 2010 at 12:45 pm
winy.coronadoo SILVER, New Haven, Connecticut
6 articles 0 photos 4 comments
I love this poem! It has all the five senses and reader can clearly picture the scenario!

on Jul. 30 2010 at 1:00 am
katiepickelsimer GOLD, Dededo, Other
13 articles 2 photos 41 comments

Favorite Quote:
Throw your dreams into space like a kite, and you do not know what it will bring back, a new life, a new friend, a new love.

-Anais Nin

This poem is really good so I tagged it as one of my favorites:) It was sweet to dedicate it to your brother:)

on Jul. 8 2010 at 8:31 pm
WritingLoverForever PLATINUM, Bowling Green, Ohio
32 articles 2 photos 198 comments

Favorite Quote:
It's not about success; it's about significance.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

This is amazing! Seriously, I'm blown away. It's beautifully written and has such a unique description. I especially loved the suicide part. Great job on this. And could you check out some of my work please?

on Jul. 8 2010 at 1:40 pm
poeticspirit12334 PLATINUM, Groesbeck, Texas
23 articles 0 photos 179 comments

Favorite Quote:
Wearing a Christian T-shirt, and a cross necklace does NOT make you a Christian. , "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord "They are plans to give you a hope and a future.'' Jeremiah 29:11

this is good !! hope to read more of your stuff!!

on Jul. 8 2010 at 12:41 pm
pieluver BRONZE, Blountsville, Alabama
1 article 0 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The silence isn't so bad till I look at my hand and feel sad cause the spaces between my fingers are were urs fit perfectly."

i lurv the way u worded everything but is the cotton candy stand for like drugs cause it seems as if i does in today's world and u can never be sure so... back to the point i rally loved ur piece. =) hope to see more

sabortooth1 said...
on Jul. 8 2010 at 10:25 am
sabortooth1, Logan, Utah
0 articles 0 photos 12 comments
Please read the book review of The Kite Runner.  Just search "The Kite Runner" and it is about the third green highlighted one.  Very Inspiring! Rate/Comment it

on Jul. 8 2010 at 8:23 am
ThatClarinetPerson SILVER, Tequesta, Florida
8 articles 0 photos 226 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life. Don't talk to me about life."
~Marvin the Paranoid Android (from the Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy series)
Statistical analysis suggests that i am probably in tune with someone
(hahahahaha! I love this cause i'm never ever ever in tune >o

hahaha. this is cute. i love cotten candy :)

trblue GOLD said...
on Jul. 8 2010 at 5:46 am
trblue GOLD, Richmond, Virginia
14 articles 7 photos 141 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Too often we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown. It only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and slap that mother@#?!&* upside the head. "

were their is a stonge use of


but i give you a standing-O.

for talking about food. some take

the going with a funny storie and 

some compare it to other things,

like you just did verry good. 

on Jun. 23 2010 at 8:58 pm
beautiful_tragedy BRONZE, Cincinnati, Ohio
1 article 0 photos 1 comment
i love the strong word choice, the imagery is amazing! i can picture it perfectly. simply beautiful.

on Jun. 16 2010 at 11:18 pm
outtatheblueeddie BRONZE, Fairfax, Virginia
2 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
"Having junk in my yard does not show a mess, it shows welth and freedom of expression"
Eddie 2009

I love the suicide part, Ussally when pepole us suicide they use it in a negitive way but you gave the reader a since of relaxation and i really like that.

on Jun. 16 2010 at 1:29 pm
Writingstar SILVER, Hayward, California
9 articles 0 photos 26 comments
you were very descriptive good job

on Jun. 16 2010 at 11:21 am
thezebrasgray PLATINUM, Taylorsville, Utah
46 articles 0 photos 231 comments
very good, except the flow is a bit unnatural for me

on May. 25 2010 at 6:28 pm
RawyaAviva SILVER, Tuolumne, California
9 articles 0 photos 34 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I wake up every morning determined to change the world and have one heck of a good time . Sometimes this makes planning my day difficult."-E. B. White

You did a beautiful job with this.Each sentence drips with imagery and the words seem to flow off your pen. I would just like to remind everyone that freedom fighter the author explains earlier what this poem is about and it is not what any one is saying. And guoxiang it is not rude to ask others to check out your work on the comments section. We are all young writers and this sight is a chance to discover and be discovered by others writers. This is a sharing website and there is nothing wrong with reading some ones work and in return possibly asking them to read yours! Once again i love this poem!!!

on May. 25 2010 at 2:27 pm
Magic-Fishbone-13 BRONZE, London, Other
1 article 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love someone else in return.

May i say very nicly done

I love the way you hid the maening of the, um... 'cotton candy'

really good :D

on May. 25 2010 at 11:17 am
savagivity777, Sante Fe, New Mexico
0 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Fo rizzle."

I think my heart beat just stopped. Who'll.

on May. 25 2010 at 9:31 am
Crying_Tears SILVER, SL,UT, Utah
8 articles 0 photos 24 comments

Favorite Quote:
I am fond on pigs.
Dogs look up to us.
Cats look down.
Pigs treat us as equals.
-Winston Churchill

What is the cotton candy supposed to symbolize? Or is it just that, cotton candy?

on May. 3 2010 at 10:52 pm
Alice_in_Wonderland GOLD, San Clemente, California
16 articles 0 photos 620 comments

Favorite Quote:
“I could give up, I could stay stuck, or I could move on, So I put one foot front of the other, No no no nothing’s gonna break my stride, “ –David Archuleta (The Other Side of Down)

Good job I could almost see and taste the cotton candy.

on May. 3 2010 at 10:40 pm
emilllydubinn SILVER, Marlboro, New Jersey
9 articles 2 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
photograpy is about stopping the world in its tracks, but poetry is about capturing the world in motion.

love the descriptiveness. in a way, not really about cotton candy i feel.

on May. 3 2010 at 9:53 pm
sparkofheart GOLD, Plymouth, Minnesota
16 articles 2 photos 253 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Always" - Severus Snape

very cool. very descriptive. veryy....unique. but i loved it! good work keep it up :)