“Hitting the Wall”

I am desperately pawing at the cold, icy wall, frozen bricks on frozen bricks
They turn their hardened faces to sneer at me
I know I am alone now
Black emptiness consumes my heart
And threatens to tear and stretch my porcelain mask
Arms reach out from the night air, confine me, and release their violent wrath
The vines of hardship ensnare me, I gasp
Tear filled rivers stream down my face
Monotonous fears are crashing down in unrelenting, unforgiving waves
Panic pulses through the core of my being
I turn out to the distant light far away now, the memories and warmth of the past
“Is there anyone there?” Nothing. There is no one.

My resolve is set, I hold each stone tight
I climb closer to the sky as a spider to its prey
Pure determination is all that I am left with
I reach the height of the wall, and I am once more a free bird
Flying towards the unknown future
Bells of hope chime in my soul
I have overcome the barrier hindering the journey of life
The world is a limitless reality
“Decisions”

I have been waiting for you
Watching, to see what you might do
At every turn you change your mind
Inside trembling, shaking
Why won’t you say what you are thinking?
Instead of dancing around what is unknown?
If you are frightened then let it be so
But do not hide behind walls of composure, of lies
Heat of passion and frost of passivity are both forces to reckon with
You may choose between the two
But often in life I have found
That anger and sadness, though they leave painful sores
Are better than living lifeless, not feeling at all

“Window”

You said you would come back, but never did
The photos we took were temporary
To weather and fade with time
But the memories we made were not
The sad words and the tearful goodbye was not meant to be written in stone
So why did you take up a chisel and ingrain them in your heart?
Across the glass my eyes would meet yours that day
This is how we planned it to be
I waited, every morning I rose, and peaked out the window
At the sight of an empty road, in a cold tundra
I replayed the recording of your words I still kept
“You will see me, Watch for me”
I let go of your hand to let you fly
But you promised me that when you circled the round world
You would take me out from this house of loneliness
And meet me again
Time for me ticked anxiously, Time for you passed leisurely
When you dusted off the promise from the attic in your heart
It was too late
The delicate snow had already covered the window pane
And I could no longer watch for you
To comeback, like you said