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Battle of the Skies

September 14, 2014
By MalaikaJ GOLD, Cloquet, Minnesota
More by this author
MalaikaJ GOLD, Cloquet, Minnesota
19 articles 2 photos 127 comments

Favorite Quote:
I love writing. I love the swirl and swing of words as they tangle with human emotions. - James Michener

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The clouds roar and rumble.
They spit out rain,
and cover the sun in darkness.
But the sun snaps back,
breaking through the clouds
and charging the sky for a moment.
They go back and forth:
Rumble,
Snap,
Growl,
Zap.
Eventually, the clouds run out
of passion and water.
The sun shines forth,
victorious.

© Zachary C., Arlington, TN

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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 12 comments.

MalaikaJ GOLD said...
on Jan. 23 2015 at 12:08 pm
MalaikaJ GOLD, Cloquet, Minnesota
19 articles 2 photos 127 comments

Favorite Quote:
I love writing. I love the swirl and swing of words as they tangle with human emotions. - James Michener

View profile
Thank you so much!
MysticMusic ELITE said...
on Jan. 22 2015 at 12:22 pm
MysticMusic ELITE, Waterloo, Other
116 articles 0 photos 118 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.&rdquo; -Mae West<br /> &quot;It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.&quot; - Leonardo Da Vinci

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I could really feel a tension-high battle going on here and the struggling lead to a great ending. This is an amazing poem.
MalaikaJ GOLD said...
on Dec. 23 2014 at 12:58 pm
MalaikaJ GOLD, Cloquet, Minnesota
19 articles 2 photos 127 comments

Favorite Quote:
I love writing. I love the swirl and swing of words as they tangle with human emotions. - James Michener

View profile
Thank you! Every person counts and every comment makes my day brighter. :)
ansem_unlimited PLATINUM said...
on Dec. 22 2014 at 12:16 pm
ansem_unlimited PLATINUM, Frederick, Maryland
33 articles 0 photos 140 comments

Favorite Quote:
Thou may think of me as desired, to idolize or villanize me whichever you may choose. but gaze upon me and thou sall not see the husk of a man! for all my sins and all my bliss, i am anything but hollow <br /> -Ansem_Unlimited

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very powerful, almost... graceful. you don't really need my help though. you've got such a following already! best of luck! ~Ansem
MalaikaJ GOLD said...
on Dec. 16 2014 at 10:17 am
MalaikaJ GOLD, Cloquet, Minnesota
19 articles 2 photos 127 comments

Favorite Quote:
I love writing. I love the swirl and swing of words as they tangle with human emotions. - James Michener

View profile
Thank you, I'm glad you feel like the sun and not the rain. ;)
SilverLiner said...
on Dec. 16 2014 at 8:04 am
SilverLiner, Accra, Other
0 articles 0 photos 30 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;uhhhhhhhhh...&quot;

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nice... after reading your poem, i feel like the sun! lol it's shocking how you've crafted such a common thing like rainfall into a masterpiece!  nice...
MalaikaJ GOLD said...
on Dec. 13 2014 at 12:36 pm
MalaikaJ GOLD, Cloquet, Minnesota
19 articles 2 photos 127 comments

Favorite Quote:
I love writing. I love the swirl and swing of words as they tangle with human emotions. - James Michener

View profile
Thank you so much! I'm gald you liked it. :)
Helena_Noel BRONZE said...
on Dec. 12 2014 at 7:55 pm
Helena_Noel BRONZE, Burnt Hills, New York
1 article 0 photos 629 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;I&#039;d rather see a sermon than hear one any day; I&#039;d rather one should walk with me than merely tell the way: The eye&#039;s a better pupil and more willing than the ear, fine counsel is confusing, but example&#039;s always clear.&rdquo; -Edgar Guest

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I loved the imagery you used, the subtle rhymes and the drama of its beat. I really felt like I was caught up in the display of a storm; you chose your words expertly, with not one out of place! I have one word for you: "Riviting!" Write on, Malaika!
MalaikaJ GOLD said...
on Oct. 28 2014 at 9:28 am
MalaikaJ GOLD, Cloquet, Minnesota
19 articles 2 photos 127 comments

Favorite Quote:
I love writing. I love the swirl and swing of words as they tangle with human emotions. - James Michener

View profile
Thank you! I'm glad you got a deeper meaning out of it.
Extraterrestrial SILVER said...
on Oct. 28 2014 at 8:40 am
Extraterrestrial SILVER, Singapore, Other
9 articles 4 photos 66 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Do what I do. Hold tight and pretend it&#039;s a plan!&quot;

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Lovely take on such a common occurence that is a rain storm. I like how your poem can be used as a comparison for daily life as well -- there will always be negative thins warring with the positives in life, but if you're patient and willing to fight against the storm, the sun will come out. Great descriptions, too, I particularly adored the line where the "clouds run out of passion and water."
MalaikaJ GOLD said...
on Oct. 25 2014 at 11:15 am
MalaikaJ GOLD, Cloquet, Minnesota
19 articles 2 photos 127 comments

Favorite Quote:
I love writing. I love the swirl and swing of words as they tangle with human emotions. - James Michener

View profile
Thank you so much! This made my day. :)
Olivia-Atlet ELITE said...
on Oct. 24 2014 at 8:13 pm
Olivia-Atlet ELITE, Dardenne Prairie, Missouri
325 articles 10 photos 1165 comments

Favorite Quote:
"To these the past hath its phantoms,<br /> More real than solid earth;<br /> And to these death does not mean decay,<br /> But only another birth" <br /> - Isabella Banks

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This is really creative and just amazing! I love the onomotopeias and the war-esque way you wrote this! Great job, my friend ^_^ Never stop writing, because this is just too beautiful and full of power!