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Collisions
January 12, 2015
Tell me that even if the sun and the moon collide
that even when it never fades to vespertide
that when the tsunami waters envelope me
that you will not be part of my debris.
Promise me that every day you will not falter
deep down in that part of your heart
that I tell you I would not alter
but sometimes it is enough to tear me apart
Promise me that when the sun refuses to fall
that you will still remember those times we were more than animals
tell me something that will keep me alive
replenish my body that is so deprived
of your slicked skin;
your innocent sin.
Then I realize when I look
In those dark eyes you have
That we are oil and water.
© Nicole B., Newcastle, WA
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This article has 4 comments.
PoetAndYouKnowIt PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 26 2015 at 7:55 pm
Oh okay. I totally understand. I was trying to switch up my rhyming a bit, but I know I should have a steady flow. That's always been my weakness, and I apprecaite your comments. I will be coming out with a lot of new work soon, so I hope we can chat about future articles.
DreamersJourney SILVER said...
on Jan. 26 2015 at 12:12 pm
The first line gets my attention, the second line about evening prayer doesn't. The debris of tsunami flowed nicely. The faltering and altering of a person and the wretched heart wasn't very note worthy. In a whole now that I look closer, what you're writing about is seemingly intimate. I personally like rhyming more than anything, but what you were writing about was intriguing. It was decent.
PoetAndYouKnowIt PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 23 2015 at 6:26 pm
Mmm touché. How could I improve? :)
DreamersJourney SILVER said...
on Jan. 22 2015 at 2:59 pm
not too shabby
6 articles 0 photos 43 comments
Favorite Quote:
"The best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing you can do is the wrong thing. The worst thing you can do is nothing."<br /> "Decide to have an attitude of gratitude, you can become bitter or better."<br /> "beYOUtiful, everyone else is taken."