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Razorblades

July 9, 2011
By Delictious GOLD, Lubbock, Texas
More by this author
Delictious GOLD, Lubbock, Texas
16 articles 5 photos 151 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I would like to be remembered as a woman who did the best she could with the talent she had."

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Rustling of newly fallen furrowed leaves,
Penetrating wind flies between the pack,
Huddled form, hearing only as she grieves,
No one moves, only words of pain attack,
Bottle broken, shards covering the form,
Coppery liquid running down cut wrists,
Thunder, pounding rain joining to the storm,
The crowds disperse, only one soul persists,
Hand reaches outward, fingers intertwined,
He holds her close, whispering in her ear,
Fight for your life, no matter how unkind,
When it’s too hard to take, I will be here,
Dropping the razor, forgetting the pain,
Never used again to slice her own vein.

© Jack B., Central City, KY

The author's comments:
I have always been very sensitive to teens like myself who are going through the pain of cutting or alcohol abuse. I wanted to show this in this sonnet, and how you can always get through it, because someone out there cares for you and who you are. I want people to read this and think twice the next time they want to say something hurtful, it might be doing more than just cutting down their ego.
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 28 comments.

Delictious GOLD said...
on Aug. 2 2011 at 3:21 pm
Delictious GOLD, Lubbock, Texas
16 articles 5 photos 151 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I would like to be remembered as a woman who did the best she could with the talent she had."

View profile
Thanks! And I'll be sure to check it out(:
born2bewriting BRONZE said...
on Jul. 31 2011 at 1:57 pm
born2bewriting BRONZE, Webster, New York
3 articles 0 photos 22 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The sky's the limit!"

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great job! you know, if you're interested in poetry you might want to try writing a sestina. they are my favorite poems. you can look up the format on google bc its difficult to describe. have fun! its a challeging format but once you're done, its quite satisfying.
Delictious GOLD said...
on Jul. 30 2011 at 11:28 pm
Delictious GOLD, Lubbock, Texas
16 articles 5 photos 151 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I would like to be remembered as a woman who did the best she could with the talent she had."

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Thankk you so much!
CarrieAnn13 GOLD said...
on Jul. 30 2011 at 8:12 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1646 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.&quot; --Douglas Adams<br /> <br /> &quot;The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.&quot; --Marcus Aurelius

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Beautiful!  I love the imagery in your poem. :)
Delictious GOLD said...
on Jul. 21 2011 at 2:36 pm
Delictious GOLD, Lubbock, Texas
16 articles 5 photos 151 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I would like to be remembered as a woman who did the best she could with the talent she had.&quot;

View profile
Thankk you so very much! :D
paige14 GOLD said...
on Jul. 21 2011 at 10:55 am
paige14 GOLD, Portsmouth, Ohio
17 articles 0 photos 50 comments

Favorite Quote:
Say what you need to say--John Mayer

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Wow...this really makes you think about how much cutting hurts the cutter and how much it hurts everyone around them. A great message and a great poem
Delictious GOLD said...
on Jul. 17 2011 at 11:19 pm
Delictious GOLD, Lubbock, Texas
16 articles 5 photos 151 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I would like to be remembered as a woman who did the best she could with the talent she had.&quot;

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Thankk you!
whitstar27 GOLD said...
on Jul. 17 2011 at 10:59 pm
whitstar27 GOLD, Edison, New Jersey
15 articles 0 photos 38 comments

Favorite Quote:
when life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then step back and let the world wonder how you did it<br /> and <br /> when life gives you lemon, throw them back at life

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I felt that this poem succeeded in conveying the message you intended for it to. I enjoyed it
Delictious GOLD said...
on Jul. 16 2011 at 4:57 pm
Delictious GOLD, Lubbock, Texas
16 articles 5 photos 151 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I would like to be remembered as a woman who did the best she could with the talent she had.&quot;

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Thankk you!
TheHangingGirl BRONZE said...
on Jul. 16 2011 at 4:18 pm
TheHangingGirl BRONZE, Winter Haven, Florida
1 article 1 photo 250 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Poets utter great and wise things that they themselves can not comprehend.&quot;

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Last line is my favorite. Amazing.
Delictious GOLD said...
on Jul. 16 2011 at 1:03 pm
Delictious GOLD, Lubbock, Texas
16 articles 5 photos 151 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I would like to be remembered as a woman who did the best she could with the talent she had.&quot;

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Thankk you!
Megan.J.B said...
on Jul. 16 2011 at 9:14 am
Megan.J.B, Sault Ste Marie, Other
0 articles 0 photos 185 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Here&#039;s the real truth. There are eight million people in this city. And those teeming masses exist for the sole purpose of lifting the few exceptional people onto their shoulders. You, me? We&#039;re exceptional.&quot; <br /> - Green Goblin. :)

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I enjoyed this piece a lot! :) you have a good sense of word choice and of rhythm. Well done!
Delictious GOLD said...
on Jul. 15 2011 at 9:59 pm
Delictious GOLD, Lubbock, Texas
16 articles 5 photos 151 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I would like to be remembered as a woman who did the best she could with the talent she had.&quot;

View profile
Thank you so much!
autumn_meets_winter PLATINUM said...
on Jul. 15 2011 at 9:53 pm
autumn_meets_winter PLATINUM, Houma, Louisiana
22 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
Bleed with your pen, not your wrist.

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I really am fond of this poem. I can't explain how but it seems to relate to me. Very well done and the details were wonderful.
Delictious GOLD said...
on Jul. 15 2011 at 8:13 pm
Delictious GOLD, Lubbock, Texas
16 articles 5 photos 151 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I would like to be remembered as a woman who did the best she could with the talent she had.&quot;

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Thank you! I'm reading your novel right now! I really like it so far(:
Garnet77 PLATINUM said...
on Jul. 15 2011 at 7:56 pm
Garnet77 PLATINUM, Sinagpore, Other
31 articles 6 photos 577 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Everything&#039;s a triangle.&quot; ~ My mother<br /> <br /> &quot;Write what you love, write what you care about, because sometimes, it&#039;s the easiest way to be heard.&quot;

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Very well done! The diction was perfect, and I love the message. I found absolutely no mistakes. This is great! :)
Delictious GOLD said...
on Jul. 15 2011 at 6:07 pm
Delictious GOLD, Lubbock, Texas
16 articles 5 photos 151 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I would like to be remembered as a woman who did the best she could with the talent she had.&quot;

View profile
Thank you!
NinjaGirl BRONZE said...
on Jul. 15 2011 at 2:55 pm
NinjaGirl BRONZE, Valley City, North Dakota
1 article 0 photos 202 comments

Favorite Quote:
The only thing holding us back in life is our desire to stay where we are and not venture further.<br /> ~Some random person on the Internet :P

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Just lovely! Wonderful word choice and rhymes. Packed with emotion! Keep it up!
Delictious GOLD said...
on Jul. 14 2011 at 3:10 pm
Delictious GOLD, Lubbock, Texas
16 articles 5 photos 151 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I would like to be remembered as a woman who did the best she could with the talent she had.&quot;

View profile
Thank you very much! :D
alex198 said...
on Jul. 14 2011 at 1:36 pm
alex198, |, Other
0 articles 0 photos 113 comments
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Wow, this is really good! It's very well written and it's so sad! I love it :)