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Am I the shining knight?

August 2, 2013
By Jay-Wolf PLATINUM, Cedar Hills, Utah
More by this author
Jay-Wolf PLATINUM, Cedar Hills, Utah
25 articles 0 photos 34 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;The man who takes offense when offence is not intended is a fool<br /> However the man who takes offence when it is intended is an even greater fool&quot;<br /> Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Is it a fire I now seek? maybe.
Is it a light beyond this quiet night?
Is it a time to take a chance? maybe.
Am I the shining knight to win this fight?

Will I one day capture a heart, will I?
Will I cherish a wife lovely, and kind?
Will I love her until the day we die?
Am I ready to look, is love really blind?

Would I quickly fall? I hope It doesn't hurt.
Would I see the differences in love?
Would I know rejection? Will I hit the dirt?
Am I a fighter? I'm a boy in love.

Do I? Am I? Will I? Would I? Can I?
Will this love dove one day learn to fly?

© Edgard B., Coral Springs, FL

The author's comments:
Please, please, please, give me some feedback I plan on sharing this with a special some one...
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 4 comments.

Jay-Wolf PLATINUM said...
on Aug. 19 2013 at 9:25 pm
Jay-Wolf PLATINUM, Cedar Hills, Utah
25 articles 0 photos 34 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;The man who takes offense when offence is not intended is a fool<br /> However the man who takes offence when it is intended is an even greater fool&quot;<br /> Ralph Waldo Emerson

View profile
I don't really plan on going through that process with this one but I might with my other stuff thanks for looking at it  
CatchAFallingStar PLATINUM said...
on Aug. 16 2013 at 12:45 pm
CatchAFallingStar PLATINUM, Pearland, Texas
24 articles 6 photos 67 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it&#039;s yours, if it doesn&#039;t, it never was.&quot; - Unknown

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Sure :) And you can't edit after you submit for whatever reason :/ The only way is to delete the article, rewrite it, and resubmit it. I've done that a couple times, but it's really annoying. Anyway, I'll check out some more right now :)
Jay-Wolf PLATINUM said...
on Aug. 15 2013 at 4:14 pm
Jay-Wolf PLATINUM, Cedar Hills, Utah
25 articles 0 photos 34 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;The man who takes offense when offence is not intended is a fool<br /> However the man who takes offence when it is intended is an even greater fool&quot;<br /> Ralph Waldo Emerson

View profile
That accualy helps a lot I don't realy know how to go back after submitting but I'll keep it mind for future poem. I pretty much write a ton until one comes out good enough to get some votes and comments. If you could check out my other stuff that would be great. Thanks ( ')>
CatchAFallingStar PLATINUM said...
on Aug. 15 2013 at 3:17 pm
CatchAFallingStar PLATINUM, Pearland, Texas
24 articles 6 photos 67 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it&#039;s yours, if it doesn&#039;t, it never was.&quot; - Unknown

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This is really good. Although if you want some constructive criticisim, I think there are a few things you could do to make this better. For example, maybe you could put in more actual statements instead of the whole thing being questions. It would probably flow a little better. Besides that, I really don't have anything else because this poem is a great idea. I have to edit my poetry a million times before I submit it to TeenInk, so don't think that I'm trying to be some sort of superior writer that is just handing out free suggestions. I just wanted to help a fellow writer because I thought this had great potential. Hope this is actually useful to you :P Great job and keep writing.