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That one tear
I watch the tears drip on the notebook paper as I fold it up. I’m not sure when I’ll give this to him but I know it will be soon. I wonder what he’ll say. What the expression his face will show as he reads it. I wonder if he knows how wonderful he is. Or if he knows he’s hurting me. I let a few more stinging tears drop on my lap and walk out of the locker room. By the time I reach the hallway, I have stopped crying. I have forced myself to tell my friends “I’m fine.” when I know I’m really not. I reach the lunch room and sit down next to Michelle. She smiles and asks me how I am.
“I’m fine.” I lied. Again.
She nodded and got up to go get her food.
I felt the note burning in my pocket. I had to give it to him now or I would talk myself out of it.
I slowly got up from my chair and walked over to him. My mind was screaming with regret but I pulled the note out of my pocket and handed it to him. He looked up at me the minute a tear ran down my cheek and froze. I turned and walked away. My head bowed in shame.
I quickly opened the note and read it:
You probably don’t want to waste your time reading this but I’m begging you. Just this once. Please? You know I like you. But how much? Do you think I love you? Do you want to know if I do? Here’s your answer:
Is that what you want to hear? I know you don’t like me. I thought I might as well tell you that just in case you thought I didn’t know that. I guess the whole point of this note was to tell you I fell for you. I was stupid and wrong. I shouldn’t have done that. Well, I guess that’s all I have to say. You can rip this up now.
“Ah hell.” I groaned. I stuffed the note in my pocket and ran out of the lunch room to find her.
She was sitting on a bench outside watching the clouds pass. I sat by her and she turned her head away. I took a deep breath and decided I better say something.
“Sarah, I-I’m sorry.” I mumbled.
She turned her head back to look at me. Her glare was sharp. Her eyes were red and puffy and she had mascara on her cheeks.
She was crying.
“You’re sorry?” she hissed. “You put me through hell and all you can say is sorry?”
I want to slap him so bad right now but I know if I do he’ll just walk away. I held my stare waiting for him to say something.
He dropped the note in my lap and looked into my eyes.
“You’re not stupid and you weren’t wrong. I was happy you gave me that note. I was lost and didn’t know I was hurting you so much. I didn’t realize you liked me so much and I am truly sorry.”
He kissed my cheek, got up, and walked away.
I gasped when I realized that what he dropped in my lap wasn’t my note. It was his.
I unfolded it and read what it said:
I’m pretty sure what I said was convincing but, I really like you and I want to be your guy. But I can’t do that if I’m watching you cry over me. I don’t want to be the jerk of the school. Please forgive me?