I'm really, really busy, but when I have time, I'll have a look at more of your work. You have talent Jess! I love this, I'm crying now. I can relate to this! I reach out to people all the time, but they turn away... I never force them to accept help! :'( Take Care.

simon cowell feedback--you asked for it!

grammatically I noticed an error: the comma after "anxiety" in the first sentance should be a semicolon I think.

so the message is clear in this poem. Very clear, benevolent, great intentions. But is this a powerful piece that moves audiences? Not really. It's cute and it gets its point across. If you wanted to get more of a reaction from your readers I'd say this needs to go deeper into the story of the boy and the girl and just have more powerful rhymes that convey "the anxiety" instead of just saying that it exists.

to a young audience, I'm sure this is wonderful and heartwarming. But I like my poetry with deeper meanings and beautifully artistic. So I guess my opinion may be based on a matter of taste, and this just wasn't my cup of tea.

I really, really like this, Jess. If you could see me right bow  I'd be really quiet, because this is so true. I see so many things like 'I just want someone to ask if I'm okay,' and I really agree, it's not that hard to reach out and do something. 

I specifically loved two lines 'So she writes on her arms' (Reminded me of TWLOHA, too) because it has meaning behind it, and 'Maybe if we reached out, we could save these lives,' because it has a real true ring to it and it flows beautifully.