Don’t roll your eyes at me!
Don’t tell me to be normal for a day,
Like I have any control over it!
You act like it’s all my fault!
IT’S NOT!

It is not my fault that Maurice got tired
And absolutely refused to keep going.
It’s not my fault that despite my incessant protests,
He still refused to stand up and walk for himself.
So I had to pick him up.
You understand right?
It’s not like I could leave him behind!
He’s just a monkey.

So he’s on my back,
What’s the big deal?
It’s not like I chose this.
He just latched onto me,
And there was nothing I could do,
But keep on going.
So don’t blame me for his sporadic nature,
And his tendencies to be uncooperative
At the most inconvenient and random times.
It’s his fault not mine.

But since I carry him around,
I suppose that you think that the blame is transferrable.
That I’m enabling him!
Well what was I supposed to do?
I can’t just say no
And then the problem is fixed forever.
It doesn’t work like that.
Maurice needs to be tended to
And yes, carried.

So don’t ask me to be normal for a day,
Because if that means putting him down,
Taking the monkey off my back,
I’m afraid that I can’t do that.
So I guess you’re stuck with us,
Because unfortunately he is mine to carry,
Mine to deal with.
But if that affects you
I’m sorry,
It was never my intention.
He just won’t go away,
So,
Like I said
Blame Maurice,
Not me.