It is no Twitter, Snapchat, or Instagram until I’m 13.
It’s saying “no I’m not allowed to get on social media.”
When my friends ask did I see the latest gossip.
It’s already knowing the answer is No!
Before I even ask a question.
It’s having to sneak a boyfriend at “young ages”
And random phone checks.
It’s tough love
That makes me want to hate.
It’s “is her mom going, if not neither are you?”
It’s being afraid to have personal heart-to-heart conversations with my mom.
It’s missing fun occasions with my friends
Because “I don’t know her people.”
It’s crying until tears no longer run down my face.
And waking up with dry cry marks
It’s “I only do this because I love you.”
It’s the thumping, pounding sound of my heart
When I hear her yell “Ciara Danielle.”
It’s sending a text
Then deleting the message thread.
It’s holding my breath after “what’s the password”
Even though I know there is nothing in my phone.
It’s lie after lie
Because I am constantly running from the truth.
It’s not being able to realize that in the end
It was for my own good.
It’s me finally understanding
At the age of 15
That this led to me becoming
A wonderful young lady.