You see, Harold didn’t always have the most powerful form of telekinesis the world has ever known. That’s right, the legend himself, Harold, could force anybody to do anything whenever he felt like it.

Harold was just your average nerd growing up. When he attended high school, at least three students in all of his classes bullied him everyday. He usually rocked high waisted baggy Levi jeans, a striped 100% cotton white t-shirt, overalls, Reebok tennis shoes, and most importantly, his thick square framed glasses like Steve Urkel wears. When the bullies reigned terror upon him, he couldn’t do anything but take it like a man because Harold was only 5’1” in height and had not one pound of muscle on his body. Harold always achieved outstanding grades and he actually skipped 3 grades because of his insane intelligence. So, he was 11 years old in the 9th grade.

Your boy Harold usually didn’t mind the bullies too much as he was simply used to it at this point and realized they were low life losers who wouldn’t get anywhere with their lives, unlike him who was no doubt going to graduate from Harvard with a PhD. One rainy Thursday during 4th period, however, Harold noticed something peculiar about the typical bullies in his class. Terrence, a junior, was staring him down with high intensity, as if he wanted to slit Harold’s throat himself. Eugene, a sophomore jock, was strapped with nunchucks and was twirling them about in a menacing manner. Gerald, a kid that was on the baseball team, looked Harold’s direction and shouted, “We are going to give you an ass whooping that you have never even thought was possible after school, little nerd!”

Harold was instantly taken aback by this remark, as he has gotten beat up plenty of times at school, but this seemed a little bit far fetched. His heart started to race, and his blood pressure skyrocketed through the roof. He immediately asked his teacher, Ms. Gertrude, “C-c-c-can I go to the b-b-b-bathroom p-please?” The high school genius leaped out of his desk and bolted through the door.

Hold on a second. Did I forget to mention that Harold’s father was an expert psychologist who could read anybody’s mind he wanted to? Well, Harold ended up having an even more badass power than that, and he was soon to find out just what it was.

When the lengthy school day finally came to a halt, Harold tried his hardest to sprint away and catch his bus as quickly as he could. But on the way to it, Terrence stopped him dead in his tracks, grabbed him by his overalls, and forced him all the way out into an open field that was about a mile away from the school grounds. There, he noticed Eugene and Gerald standing with a smug grin on their faces, as if they’ve waited their whole 17 years of existence for this very hour.

Harold tried stopping the inevitable by talking his way out of it, or offering up his homework answers. None of these solutions worked, and Terrence drew his clenched fist and connected a solid punch to Harold’s ribs. Now he knew it was over, so he just closed his eyes, tried concentrating on other things, and just let it happen. However, a few punches in from Terrence and Harold felt them subside. He opened his eyes and Terrence kept punching. Then, he closed his eyes again and he stopped punching. Harold was dumbfounded by what was going on and didn’t realize this was the beginning of his everlasting journey as the most powerful human the world has ever seen. Harold now retraced his thoughts and figured out that whenever he closed his eyes and pictured a designated person doing something, it happened.

Harold kept his eyes clenched shut and pictured Terrence, Eugene, and Gerald beating each other up. Sure enough, when he opened his eyes, all 3 of the losers were on the ground knocked out cold. Harold now realized that he didn’t need a Harvard degree. He could make anyone do anything he wanted. He was the most powerful man the world had ever known.