The Color Of The Inside Of My Mouth | Teen Ink

The Color Of The Inside Of My Mouth MAG

January 22, 2009
By Bassoonkelley GOLD, Tampa, Florida
Bassoonkelley GOLD, Tampa, Florida
15 articles 0 photos 49 comments

I wipe at my stupid eyes with the back of my hand, and it startles me for a second that my tears are gray. I dunno why it surprised me; I mean, I buy the s***ty mascara that’s $1.99 in the 20 Items or Less checkout lane. Why spend oodles of green on something I hardly ever use?

I just wanted to look nice, you know? Like those girls who’re just naturally fake pretty. The girls who can blend shades of eyeshadow like no one’s business, and match their lipstick to the exact color of their toenail polish or whatever. Seemingly effortless, yet impeccably coordinated.

This is good stuff, I should write for a living – solely on the subject of beauty queens with superiority complexes, of course.

I just want … God, what do I want? I want to feel the sun on my face and paint the clouds and hear the music in the trees and love myself and love someone else and just feel perpetually beautiful.

But that requires the $14.99 waterproof, fire-retardant, Grade-5-hurricane-resistant mascara, not the tube that’s two bucks in Lane 4.

My shoes are dirty and outdated, but that’s how I like them. I like these shoes. They’re comfortable. Why do I need new, expensive, fashionably appealing shoes in order for someone to say, “Hey dogg, you look nice today”?

And why is it that whenever I get deathly bored and slather cheap, pore-clogging makeup all over my face everyone suddenly says, “Wow, you look pretty!”? Since when is “pretty” about whale blubber and cocoa butter?

I’ll tell you one thing, though. I most definitely am not crying about some stupid XY.

Definitely not.

I’m crying for all the whales that have to give up their fatty insulation so that some fugly anorexic super bitch can paint herself pretty every freaking day, giving him something halfway decent to oggle all the time.

Seriously, I’m not leaking saltwater over a guy.

I just think it’s cruel and unfair that the fat-endowed marine life population doesn’t even get the slightest warning that they’ll soon be on a cosmetics endcap at K-Mart.

He could have at least broken it to me gently, you know? We’ve been friends since the George Bush/Al Gore debacle.

I mean come the Bette Midler on.

I spill my blood, guts, and viscera out to this guy and he throws down the “Let’s just be friends” card without a second thought?

It’s just … it’s common courtesy to ease someone into heartbreak, not smash it over their head like a whiffleball bat.

You know what? I’m going to take my $1.99 checkout Lane 4 mascara and chuck it right at her big, stupid square head.

The author's comments:
This is literally an excerpt from my journal, so it's a little different when it comes to writing style.

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This article has 476 comments.

Nicole A. said...
on Aug. 4 2010 at 11:03 pm

ok so i het the part about he whales dieing for makeup and the queen bees wearing it everyday just for a guy but hen you talk about this guy so wait did he dumb you for some qeen bee because if not that dosent make much sence but it is crazy about the make up stuff absolutley crazy but it was written well


taylorbee233 said...
on Jul. 28 2010 at 11:34 pm
i really feel like im you when i read this. You're vivid wording makes it great to understand your pain! keep writing!!

on Jul. 28 2010 at 10:28 pm
darkangel09 GOLD, South Huntington, New York
13 articles 0 photos 64 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I do not agree with what you have to say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it."-Voltaire

I agree! it's so screwed up! wonderfully writen!

on Jul. 28 2010 at 6:22 pm
PoetLaureate07 PLATINUM, Aberdeen, Mississippi
32 articles 0 photos 246 comments

Favorite Quote:
To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing..

THIS IS GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU HAVE A WONDERFULLY CREATIVE TALENT!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE... WRITE MORE!!!! jus dont let the guys get 2 u... like u sd 4m ur journal.... tell em 2 grow up && move on...

on Jul. 28 2010 at 5:59 pm
BaileyBaby13 BRONZE, Enumclaw, Washington
2 articles 4 photos 75 comments
i loved this. it's so honest and i agreed with every word. 5 stars,(:

on Jul. 28 2010 at 5:17 pm
Thanks for writing this :) You put into words something that's so common and that evryone goes through. Please check out my work, i'd appreciate it much.

on Jul. 28 2010 at 4:28 pm
deus-ex-machina14 BRONZE, Stewartsville, New Jersey
1 article 0 photos 439 comments

Favorite Quote:
"There are two main tragedies in life. One is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it." -Oscar Wilde

I think this kind of thing has gone on in every young girl's head at least once if not several times. It's easy to relate to and that's wonderful:D

on Jul. 28 2010 at 2:18 pm
datrumpeter PLATINUM, Jefferson City, Missouri
40 articles 6 photos 59 comments

Favorite Quote:
'Before you insult someone, walk a mile in their shoes. that way, when you insult them, you'll be a mile away from them and you'll have their shoes.'

i like how you mix the fake problem with the real deal. and its so to the point, its just like here it is, take it or leave it. love it!

on Jul. 28 2010 at 2:00 pm
Bassoonkelley GOLD, Tampa, Florida
15 articles 0 photos 49 comments
I don't think I could've said it any better myself, Ebony :)

"Pain is just weakness leaving the body."  :)

Good luck with whatever you're going through!

on Jul. 28 2010 at 1:10 pm
Poet_in_Motion PLATINUM, Sharon, Massachusetts
24 articles 0 photos 40 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Love one another." –George Harrison (his last words)

"and down they forgot as up they grew" –e.e. cummings

"The sea is just a wetter version of the sky..." –Regina Spektor

I totally agree with you; if this were a book I'd buy it in a heartbeat. Please keep writing!!!

on Jul. 28 2010 at 11:43 am
Nora.Whatever BRONZE, Brooklyn, New York
2 articles 0 photos 5 comments
This is really good, so blunt and I love the tone, it's real.

on Jul. 28 2010 at 11:12 am
AeroAsh87 BRONZE, No., California
1 article 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
"To be Old & Wise you must first have to be Young & Stupid."

I think this peice is amazing!  Perfectly amazing actually.  You make writing look so easy.  I love how you make me feel like I'm right there beside you, looking at you, and feeling what you're feeling.  The best part about your writing, is that it can be so dang serious and emotional but then you add a bunch of humor.  I LOVE THAT about your writing.  Keep writing and never give up.  :D


Babylufin GOLD said...
on Jul. 28 2010 at 10:41 am
Babylufin GOLD, Liberal, Missouri
13 articles 2 photos 229 comments

Favorite Quote:
"'For I know the plans I have for you', declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" Jeremiah 29:11. Thank you Lord, for this future you've given me.

I liked the combination of epidemic's. The whales, the anorexia, the fake 'beauty', the heartbreak. I liked it all. Actually, I loved it. :)

Please take a look at my work? :D

on Jul. 28 2010 at 5:48 am
Sammmmmmmm GOLD, Jefferson, Maryland
17 articles 10 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
Strength is hard to get, and easy to use
Don't leave the ones you love for the ones you like ; they, too, will leave you for the ones they love

wow.! that was impressive.!

on Jul. 28 2010 at 1:35 am
Ebonykitty SILVER, Naples, Florida
8 articles 1 photo 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
You can't run out of dreams. Dreams are the start of everything...

Dreams are the base of everything in this god-forsaken world. And when dreams break you can't help but cry; on the inside or out. But the best part about dreams? You can always dream more.

So dream higher, and bigger. Cuz life always has it's way of working its self out for the best.

I don't know if this has anything to do with your problem, but maybe it gives you something to think about at night instead of whatever or whoever hurt you.


~ Ebony ~

Jessie9048 said...
on Jul. 28 2010 at 12:53 am
Hey. I commented because I don't want to make an account. Anyway I'm sad. I need a hug. I was hurt physically and emotionally. I am crying. I need a hug. Please repl yto my comment. This isn't a thing that says if you don't reply you will die. I am a real girl. I did get hurt. And I want a hug...... Please reply it'd mean alot to me............... :(

on Jul. 21 2010 at 11:08 pm
elle_la_vie BRONZE, Cresskill, New Jersey
1 article 11 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
the man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. :)

i loved it, so many girls feel that way!

on Jul. 13 2010 at 3:13 pm
jansquared BRONZE, N/a, California
3 articles 21 photos 5 comments

LOL. Love it.

I don't usually sit down and read an article that has more than four sentences to it, but this one is a keeper :)

on Jul. 6 2010 at 7:22 pm
madmadie22 BRONZE, Wichita, Kansas
2 articles 0 photos 28 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It is quite unnerving to be proven wrong, particularly when you are really right and the person proving you wrong is proving himself wrongly right. Right?" Lemony Snicket, The Reptile Room

LOL!!! I love this; this is by far one of the best I've read!  Great job!!

Eilatan GOLD said...
on Jul. 6 2010 at 6:44 pm
Eilatan GOLD, Old Greenwich, Connecticut
11 articles 1 photo 307 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Nobody is normal. Everybody in the world is a weirdo freak. Except you, which makes you a weirdo freak."

This is SO GOOD! i LOVE the emotion behind it, the writing voice, the personal touches.... PLEASE write more, tell the story behind the excerpt, i NEED to know how this all hapened. If this was the sneak preview of a twenty dollar book, I WOULD BUY THE BOOK. this is PHENOMENAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!