The Color Of The Inside Of My Mouth | Teen Ink

The Color Of The Inside Of My Mouth MAG

January 22, 2009
By Bassoonkelley GOLD, Tampa, Florida
Bassoonkelley GOLD, Tampa, Florida
15 articles 0 photos 49 comments

I wipe at my stupid eyes with the back of my hand, and it startles me for a second that my tears are gray. I dunno why it surprised me; I mean, I buy the s***ty mascara that’s $1.99 in the 20 Items or Less checkout lane. Why spend oodles of green on something I hardly ever use?

I just wanted to look nice, you know? Like those girls who’re just naturally fake pretty. The girls who can blend shades of eyeshadow like no one’s business, and match their lipstick to the exact color of their toenail polish or whatever. Seemingly effortless, yet impeccably coordinated.

This is good stuff, I should write for a living – solely on the subject of beauty queens with superiority complexes, of course.

I just want … God, what do I want? I want to feel the sun on my face and paint the clouds and hear the music in the trees and love myself and love someone else and just feel perpetually beautiful.

But that requires the $14.99 waterproof, fire-retardant, Grade-5-hurricane-resistant mascara, not the tube that’s two bucks in Lane 4.

My shoes are dirty and outdated, but that’s how I like them. I like these shoes. They’re comfortable. Why do I need new, expensive, fashionably appealing shoes in order for someone to say, “Hey dogg, you look nice today”?

And why is it that whenever I get deathly bored and slather cheap, pore-clogging makeup all over my face everyone suddenly says, “Wow, you look pretty!”? Since when is “pretty” about whale blubber and cocoa butter?

I’ll tell you one thing, though. I most definitely am not crying about some stupid XY.

Definitely not.

I’m crying for all the whales that have to give up their fatty insulation so that some fugly anorexic super bitch can paint herself pretty every freaking day, giving him something halfway decent to oggle all the time.

Seriously, I’m not leaking saltwater over a guy.

I just think it’s cruel and unfair that the fat-endowed marine life population doesn’t even get the slightest warning that they’ll soon be on a cosmetics endcap at K-Mart.

He could have at least broken it to me gently, you know? We’ve been friends since the George Bush/Al Gore debacle.

I mean come the Bette Midler on.

I spill my blood, guts, and viscera out to this guy and he throws down the “Let’s just be friends” card without a second thought?

It’s just … it’s common courtesy to ease someone into heartbreak, not smash it over their head like a whiffleball bat.

You know what? I’m going to take my $1.99 checkout Lane 4 mascara and chuck it right at her big, stupid square head.

The author's comments:
This is literally an excerpt from my journal, so it's a little different when it comes to writing style.

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This article has 476 comments.

on Dec. 7 2010 at 8:21 am
stephie95 PLATINUM, Tripoli, Other
25 articles 1 photo 65 comments
amazing really!!!! LOVE IT! :D

on Dec. 7 2010 at 8:06 am
QueenOfQuirky SILVER, Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
5 articles 5 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
“You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”- Dr. Seuss

This is just really amazing. I love it! :)

on Nov. 15 2010 at 10:53 pm
this really comes from way down there...your heart^_^ round of apluse for you!i understand what you mean<3

on Nov. 15 2010 at 7:37 pm
MiiSs_AlySsA SILVER, Fall River, Massachusetts
8 articles 3 photos 26 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Your Hold On Me Is Pemeant And Unbreakable. Don't Forget That..."

"Oh yea, Burgers for the boys.." - Haha!! A friend

This reminds me of me.. I love it.. truly straight from the heart =]]

on Nov. 15 2010 at 7:32 pm
lena.ivette BRONZE, Colorado Springs, Colorado
1 article 1 photo 10 comments
ahh, this is soo good! you've got real talent! i absolutly love your writing stlye! :)

Cookie said...
on Nov. 15 2010 at 6:00 pm
I love your writing! Its amazing! fFom the heart.

on Nov. 15 2010 at 3:36 pm
holly.nicole SILVER, Templeton, Massachusetts
9 articles 0 photos 33 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It's Only Awkward, If You Make It Awkward."

I love this it is really good!

-holly nicole <3;)ily<3

on Nov. 15 2010 at 1:38 pm
PlaneWithoutWings BRONZE, Baltimore, Maryland
3 articles 0 photos 5 comments
I wish i was as beautiful as you must be(:

on Nov. 10 2010 at 3:30 pm
xCokiMonsterx BRONZE, Aurora, Colorado
2 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
\"If I touch a burning candle, I can feel no pain. If you cut me with a knife, its all the same. Yet I feel my heart is aching, it doesnt mean its breaking. And the pain here that I feel, try to tell me its not real..\"

I love this!! This is probably the hunreth time you've heard this, i know, but its amazing!

on Oct. 24 2010 at 10:12 pm
SpringRayyn PLATINUM, Lakeville, Minnesota
34 articles 2 photos 658 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't punish yourself," she heard her say again, but there would be punishment and pain, and there would be happiness too. That was writing."
--Markus Zusak, "The Book Thief"

That's amazing that you have enough courage to post an actual excerpt from your journal on a website. Nice writing, I like it and I agree!

on Oct. 24 2010 at 5:09 pm
writingisright, Highlands Ranch, Colorado
0 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't follow your dreams; chase them."
- Richard Dumb

Oh my gosh....this piece is so deep and i can tell it came from your heart. love it!

on Oct. 24 2010 at 4:46 pm
russianreader BRONZE, Charlotte, Vermont
2 articles 0 photos 51 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Good, better, best. Never let it rest. Until your good is better and your better is best."

this is great!!! i love the emotion. its just so accurate!

WhiteShadows said...
on Oct. 24 2010 at 3:39 pm
WhiteShadows, Ocala, Florida
0 articles 0 photos 38 comments

Favorite Quote:
You've gotta work like you don't need the money/love like you'll never be hurt/
Sing like no one is listening/ and live like it's heaven on Earth.-Anonymous

That is so good!!!!

Your writing is so human, not covered in cheap makeup. It's so true, too. And of course, the writing is terrific. First i Thought this came right out of a diary and then i read the caption...i was right. Awesome, amazing piece.

I can already see "The Color of The Inside of my Mouth" on the cover of a book. I'd read it.

on Oct. 24 2010 at 2:24 pm
SecretSasha SILVER, Cibolo, Texas
5 articles 0 photos 68 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It doesn't matter how slow you go as long as you don't stop"

I absolutely love this! I love the humor, even though your writing about heartbreak.

Berta BRONZE said...
on Oct. 24 2010 at 11:53 am
Berta BRONZE, Somewhere, Massachusetts
3 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
"In riding a horse, we borrow freedom."
Helen Thompson

Love it!  Great writing.  It really has some good thoughts in it.

on Oct. 13 2010 at 6:23 am
_helenhorton SILVER, Springfield, Ohio
7 articles 3 photos 34 comments
is in the may 2009 issue and it wuz amazing great job

on Oct. 2 2010 at 8:34 pm
Writer4Life_21 SILVER, No Where, Maryland
5 articles 2 photos 41 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you don't know where your going, you will end up someplace else." - Yogi Bera

Wow she is a good author. Very genuine. Write a book.

on Oct. 2 2010 at 3:24 pm
starxoxo23 PLATINUM, New Hampshire, New Hampshire
21 articles 0 photos 97 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The creative is the place where no one else has ever been. You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you'll discover will be wonderful. What you'll discover is yourself."
- Alan Alda

LOVE this. ive felt this way sooo many times... i totally get it.

on Oct. 2 2010 at 2:58 pm
MyLifeAsCupid BRONZE, Janesville, Wisconsin
3 articles 0 photos 34 comments

Favorite Quote:
"How could an Alice girl like me,
Love a Hatter as mad as you?"

great idea fo a story, who wants a guy or friends who like you just because ur pretty or you act like them or look like them, u k wut i mean.

ur man is supposed to like you for you not for ur pretty face or for the clothes ur whereing; if you go over to his house without make up on and are just where pj's or a sweater and some jeans, and he kisses you on the nose and brings you into a hug, man you got the perfect one for you.         but if he trys to get in ur pants because ur pretty or just wants to, that jerk is an idiot. u know wut i mean.

good story btw, luv the way you talk about the stupid beauty queens, every school has one and they are rude cruel and even some times just down right mean. lolz.

on Oct. 2 2010 at 2:34 pm
thisbeautifulmiasma GOLD, Ferrum, Virginia
10 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Very honest!

Read my stuff at: