The Color Of The Inside Of My Mouth | Teen Ink

The Color Of The Inside Of My Mouth MAG

January 22, 2009
By Bassoonkelley GOLD, Tampa, Florida
Bassoonkelley GOLD, Tampa, Florida
15 articles 0 photos 49 comments

I wipe at my stupid eyes with the back of my hand, and it startles me for a second that my tears are gray. I dunno why it surprised me; I mean, I buy the s***ty mascara that’s $1.99 in the 20 Items or Less checkout lane. Why spend oodles of green on something I hardly ever use?

I just wanted to look nice, you know? Like those girls who’re just naturally fake pretty. The girls who can blend shades of eyeshadow like no one’s business, and match their lipstick to the exact color of their toenail polish or whatever. Seemingly effortless, yet impeccably coordinated.

This is good stuff, I should write for a living – solely on the subject of beauty queens with superiority complexes, of course.

I just want … God, what do I want? I want to feel the sun on my face and paint the clouds and hear the music in the trees and love myself and love someone else and just feel perpetually beautiful.

But that requires the $14.99 waterproof, fire-retardant, Grade-5-hurricane-resistant mascara, not the tube that’s two bucks in Lane 4.

My shoes are dirty and outdated, but that’s how I like them. I like these shoes. They’re comfortable. Why do I need new, expensive, fashionably appealing shoes in order for someone to say, “Hey dogg, you look nice today”?

And why is it that whenever I get deathly bored and slather cheap, pore-clogging makeup all over my face everyone suddenly says, “Wow, you look pretty!”? Since when is “pretty” about whale blubber and cocoa butter?

I’ll tell you one thing, though. I most definitely am not crying about some stupid XY.

Definitely not.

I’m crying for all the whales that have to give up their fatty insulation so that some fugly anorexic super bitch can paint herself pretty every freaking day, giving him something halfway decent to oggle all the time.

Seriously, I’m not leaking saltwater over a guy.

I just think it’s cruel and unfair that the fat-endowed marine life population doesn’t even get the slightest warning that they’ll soon be on a cosmetics endcap at K-Mart.

He could have at least broken it to me gently, you know? We’ve been friends since the George Bush/Al Gore debacle.

I mean come the Bette Midler on.

I spill my blood, guts, and viscera out to this guy and he throws down the “Let’s just be friends” card without a second thought?

It’s just … it’s common courtesy to ease someone into heartbreak, not smash it over their head like a whiffleball bat.

You know what? I’m going to take my $1.99 checkout Lane 4 mascara and chuck it right at her big, stupid square head.

The author's comments:
This is literally an excerpt from my journal, so it's a little different when it comes to writing style.

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This article has 476 comments.

on Mar. 5 2011 at 9:27 am
sabina22 BRONZE, Glen Mills, Pennsylvania
1 article 0 photos 47 comments
Oh my goodness, this reminds me of myself so much, haha xD I try to look nice for the person I like, and he hangs out with a bunch of the popular girls cuz I guess he's one of those uber-likeable people, and it's like, "Hey, what about me, the shy girl in the corner who cares about you more than they ever could?!" Anyway, I'll stop ranting now =) I love this, great job

on Mar. 5 2011 at 6:56 am
IluvJesus BRONZE, Stone Mountain, Georgia
1 article 0 photos 13 comments
lol I loved this! I dont wear fancy new things either for reasons you just put out. I actually kinda like being the only girl I know who doesn't wear converse, or areopostle, or makeup. I can feel good about that

on Feb. 27 2011 at 7:18 pm
RedheadAtHeart ELITE, Mountain Home, Idaho
109 articles 0 photos 164 comments

Favorite Quote:
Love with open hands. - Madeleine L'Engle

This is lovely. Your style is so colorful, and everything rings true.

on Feb. 11 2011 at 11:55 pm
Noxfaratos SILVER, Traverse City, Michigan
5 articles 8 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
To the world you may be but one, but to one you might be the world. :)
Wise people think all they say: fools say all they think.

Ahh I loved this. It was funny, not boring, and honestly.... true! I hope you write more, can't wait to read them! :)

on Feb. 11 2011 at 10:20 pm
lillyzombiemonster, Clyde, Ohio
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment
this is really good :D i love it, keep up the good writing

WriterChic said...
on Feb. 11 2011 at 11:06 am
WriterChic, South Berwick, Maine
0 articles 0 photos 2 comments
i completely agree with you! this is an amazing piece of writing!

on Feb. 5 2011 at 11:41 am
torytrom SILVER, Wilbraham, Massachusetts
9 articles 0 photos 3 comments
This is great! Raw and funny. Above all, not too long and boring. Keep up the great work!

on Jan. 20 2011 at 7:31 pm
WynterPage95 ELITE, Monticello, Arkansas
164 articles 8 photos 76 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It's better to burn out than to fade away..." -Kurt Cobain

I just realized tht i suck at typin tonight, tht says i love writers tht write with a raw, so on and so on. my bad!!

on Jan. 20 2011 at 7:29 pm
WynterPage95 ELITE, Monticello, Arkansas
164 articles 8 photos 76 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It's better to burn out than to fade away..." -Kurt Cobain

I love writers that are rite with a raw and in-your-face language. This was a great example of tht. This was awesome! 3 thumbs up!!

on Jan. 20 2011 at 10:44 am
ShelbyMarie93 PLATINUM, Lexington, Nebraska
35 articles 1 photo 62 comments

Favorite Quote:
"When Death to either shall come -- I pray it be first to me." ~Robert Bridges
"Life is not a jump; it's a headfirst dive."
"Within you I lose myself; without you I find myself wanting to be lost again."

╚══`.¸.Isaac H.

That was truly amazing! It ade me laugh, it made me think, it's got everything a good piece of writing needs. You rock! Keep writing!

on Jan. 20 2011 at 9:59 am
Chitra.I PLATINUM, Dubai, Other
44 articles 2 photos 131 comments

Favorite Quote:
Everything makes sense if you think too much about it.

My first reaction was: Lol.

Sophisticated, huh?

But this is gold. I've never seen a style more frank. Good work. =)

on Jan. 20 2011 at 8:55 am
honestly yer a great writer. i luv that im not the only person who dosent feel like putting 100 dollers worth of mascera and lipstick on every day. your story really hooks people, draws'em in and punches them in da face, they say "woah" cuz yer story is awesome. and then you leave them thinking this was a great story and they want to read more. the only thing i think could be better is that you could tell us more bout 'her' then we would tottaly understauying nd and everybody would read yer story, i tottaly think that if you like writing this much it wont be long before im buying yer book from barnes n noble. and i soo cant wait!

on Jan. 14 2011 at 10:10 pm

This story's hilarious and sad all at once! And angsty. I looooove it!

I can definitely relate with the narrator and her lovely cynicism. :P

on Jan. 8 2011 at 9:26 pm
ZanibZulfiqar PLATINUM, West Chester, Ohio
20 articles 2 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."- Ralph Waldo Emerson

This is AWESOME!!!! Love it!!!!!!


on Dec. 30 2010 at 9:25 pm
Bassoonkelley GOLD, Tampa, Florida
15 articles 0 photos 49 comments
The "her" refers to a girl the guy I was crushing on ended up liking. He had started dating someone, and apparently I didn't like that much lol

on Dec. 29 2010 at 9:28 pm
autumntate2015 SILVER, Albertville, Alabama
9 articles 20 photos 45 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Success is a journey, not a destination." -Ben Sweetland

i really don't know how to describe how much i loved this. it really speaks to me. because i went through the same thing. telling myself i wouldnt cry over him, and realizing that is exactly what i did and still do...cry, over him. so i convince myself it is because of something else. thank you for writing this. it is beautiful. i love it.

on Dec. 29 2010 at 7:53 pm
softballfreak42 GOLD, Holmdel, New Jersey
10 articles 0 photos 49 comments

Favorite Quote:
-DARE TO BE DIFFERENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-A love story gone wrong. But that doesn't mean it wasn't a love story.
-Where there is no struggle, there is no strength.
-When writing the story of your life, don't let anyone else hold the pen.

i totaly agre with u... b urslf n dont let ny1 change that =)

n if that guy cant see you for who you are, then he doesn't deserve to be wit u

Saika PLATINUM said...
on Dec. 29 2010 at 5:59 pm
Saika PLATINUM, Durango, Colorado
21 articles 48 photos 34 comments

Favorite Quote:
Love and Tolerate every person, pony, and brony <3

Thats a great story!

LunaLives GOLD said...
on Dec. 29 2010 at 3:47 pm
LunaLives GOLD, South Bend, Indiana
17 articles 0 photos 237 comments

Favorite Quote:
Because I can!-Me "Life is a choice and death is a decision"-Lil Wayne

I wish I could write like that. And I deffinately agree withwhat you are saying. also I thought mascara was made out of bat poop. Any way, I like your writing.

on Dec. 29 2010 at 2:56 pm
buzzlikebea GOLD, Fitchburg, Wisconsin
10 articles 0 photos 28 comments

Favorite Quote:
Shoot for the moon. For, even if you miss, you'll still land amongst the stars.

ok... i dont know what your intentions were but i laughed and wanted to give you a hug at the same time.  this was pretty cute and funny and angry all at the same time.