The Color Of The Inside Of My Mouth | Teen Ink

The Color Of The Inside Of My Mouth MAG

January 22, 2009
By Bassoonkelley GOLD, Tampa, Florida
Bassoonkelley GOLD, Tampa, Florida
15 articles 0 photos 49 comments

I wipe at my stupid eyes with the back of my hand, and it startles me for a second that my tears are gray. I dunno why it surprised me; I mean, I buy the s***ty mascara that’s $1.99 in the 20 Items or Less checkout lane. Why spend oodles of green on something I hardly ever use?

I just wanted to look nice, you know? Like those girls who’re just naturally fake pretty. The girls who can blend shades of eyeshadow like no one’s business, and match their lipstick to the exact color of their toenail polish or whatever. Seemingly effortless, yet impeccably coordinated.

This is good stuff, I should write for a living – solely on the subject of beauty queens with superiority complexes, of course.

I just want … God, what do I want? I want to feel the sun on my face and paint the clouds and hear the music in the trees and love myself and love someone else and just feel perpetually beautiful.

But that requires the $14.99 waterproof, fire-retardant, Grade-5-hurricane-resistant mascara, not the tube that’s two bucks in Lane 4.

My shoes are dirty and outdated, but that’s how I like them. I like these shoes. They’re comfortable. Why do I need new, expensive, fashionably appealing shoes in order for someone to say, “Hey dogg, you look nice today”?

And why is it that whenever I get deathly bored and slather cheap, pore-clogging makeup all over my face everyone suddenly says, “Wow, you look pretty!”? Since when is “pretty” about whale blubber and cocoa butter?

I’ll tell you one thing, though. I most definitely am not crying about some stupid XY.

Definitely not.

I’m crying for all the whales that have to give up their fatty insulation so that some fugly anorexic super bitch can paint herself pretty every freaking day, giving him something halfway decent to oggle all the time.

Seriously, I’m not leaking saltwater over a guy.

I just think it’s cruel and unfair that the fat-endowed marine life population doesn’t even get the slightest warning that they’ll soon be on a cosmetics endcap at K-Mart.

He could have at least broken it to me gently, you know? We’ve been friends since the George Bush/Al Gore debacle.

I mean come the Bette Midler on.

I spill my blood, guts, and viscera out to this guy and he throws down the “Let’s just be friends” card without a second thought?

It’s just … it’s common courtesy to ease someone into heartbreak, not smash it over their head like a whiffleball bat.

You know what? I’m going to take my $1.99 checkout Lane 4 mascara and chuck it right at her big, stupid square head.

The author's comments:
This is literally an excerpt from my journal, so it's a little different when it comes to writing style.

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This article has 476 comments.

on Jul. 15 2011 at 2:28 am
KristinHopkins8 SILVER, Aspen, Colorado
7 articles 0 photos 83 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If a writer falls in love with you, you can never die"

this sounds straight out of a journal... i guess it's okay but i can't really relate to it. i mean, i don't have to relate to something to understand it but it was pretty confusing with the change of different emotions through the whole thing.

on Jul. 13 2011 at 11:39 am
ohheyyyelli SILVER, Woonsocket, Rhode Island
5 articles 3 photos 178 comments

I like the style of writing, and I agree with the whole make up thing, but then I got to this part

"fugly anorexic super bitch"

I have an eating disorder, and it's people like you who give ed's the wrong impression. Just because someone is anorexic does not mean they cake make up on their face everyday. And they are not doing it so they can look perfectly skinny and beautiful, there's an underlying reason. Maybe I'm out of line for this comment, and maybe a bunch of people will talk sh*t to me for this comment, but it really offended me.

on Jul. 11 2011 at 7:54 pm
Lola_Black GOLD, Harrison, Michigan
11 articles 2 photos 276 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I've always been famous. It's just everybody's just now finding out." --Lady Gaga

If this is an excerpt from your journal, shouldn't it be in nonfiction?

Cassys BRONZE said...
on Jun. 23 2011 at 8:48 pm
Cassys BRONZE, Brockton, Massachusetts
2 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
God gave his only begotten son that whom ever beeves should not perish bet live eternal life Jhon3:16

cool its interesting

and thats what readers like

god bless you

and thanks for writing it takes guts and you have them


on Jun. 23 2011 at 8:17 pm
Bassoonkelley GOLD, Tampa, Florida
15 articles 0 photos 49 comments
I went for a fleshy, raw tone to the writing - like the back of your throat, or "the inside of my mouth"

on Jun. 23 2011 at 7:24 pm
RhythmAndRhyme BRONZE, Rockford, Michigan
4 articles 0 photos 91 comments

Favorite Quote:
"There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or an opera diva." ~~Josh Groban

This is awesome! I love the style. (From your journal, am I correct?) Very interesting. Very cool. Keep writing! :)))))

kat <3 said...
on Jun. 23 2011 at 6:19 pm
this artical made me laugh and think that this really all true. huh who would have thought.....

on Jun. 23 2011 at 5:38 pm
AlyssaFama SILVER, Kunkletown, Pennsylvania
5 articles 0 photos 60 comments

Favorite Quote:
Most people want to be the sun that brightens your day. I'd rather be the moon that shines down on you in your darkest hour.

it is very realistic! great job :)

on Jun. 23 2011 at 3:32 pm
Amsterdamsel DIAMOND, Henderson , Nevada
54 articles 2 photos 69 comments
really good, but im also confused about the title...?

on Jun. 23 2011 at 3:14 pm
apoetssoul SILVER, Lockport, New York
8 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on. -Thomas Jefferson

I adore this. You're a hero for having the balls to post this inner monologue of sorts up here for the whole teen world to view and beyond, pardon my phrasing. Please keep writing, in this same raw and honest style. I admire it, can relate to it, and aspire to perfect it as eloquently as you have. Thank you. God bless! :)

RMicchelle said...
on Jun. 23 2011 at 3:08 pm
RMicchelle, Corry, Pennsylvania
0 articles 0 photos 75 comments

Favorite Quote:
You don't have to like me... I like myself, and that's enough

"When life gives you lemons it better give you sugar too or your lemonade is going to suck."

One ( or two) words... Amazing. This was so true it almost took my breath away. I can relate to this, that is exacticaly what I look for in writing.

on Jun. 23 2011 at 9:40 am
Jenna Tibby BRONZE, Castle Rock, Colorado
2 articles 1 photo 9 comments
why the title 

on Jun. 1 2011 at 9:02 pm
SmellsLikeTeenWriter SILVER, Adel, Georgia
5 articles 20 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Hey, you know, life’s like a bucket of wood shavings. Except for when the shavings are in a pail- then it’s like a pail of wood shavings." -Spongebob Squarepants

Love it! This reminds me of myself when I write down random thoughts. You could write a Perks of Being a Wallflower/ Go Ask Alice/ Catcher in the Rye kind of book, you know? Keep up the good work :)

on Jun. 1 2011 at 8:10 pm
skyler_anne GOLD, Brewer, Maine
12 articles 6 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
"what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger"

"Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you I had no control over."

"To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift.” -Pre

hahahaha oh my god i love this. it's so true, all of the pretty bitchy girls that have no brains seem to get the good guys. what's up with that? your story says it all.

on Jun. 1 2011 at 7:22 pm
Stpaulian BRONZE, Kewadin, Michigan
2 articles 0 photos 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
Bad Spellers of the world 'untie'.

Amazing details.

on Jun. 1 2011 at 6:40 pm
AnimalLoverNayNay, Hooksett, New Hampshire
0 articles 1 photo 40 comments

Favorite Quote:
" Life sucks and then you die." Stephenie Meyer, Part 2, Preface,Page 134

Wow! Awesome! :) :)

on Jun. 1 2011 at 6:09 pm
Lola_Black GOLD, Harrison, Michigan
11 articles 2 photos 276 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I've always been famous. It's just everybody's just now finding out." --Lady Gaga

I love this! It's true, edgy, and I'm sure you won't even find my comment in this sea of praise you definately deserve for this. Keep it up!

on Jun. 1 2011 at 3:57 pm
I know you've heard this about 350 times already but I really love the entry. It's beautiful and it's something almost every girl can relate to. Keep it up(:

stolen_bagel said...
on Jun. 1 2011 at 3:09 pm
stolen_bagel, Ottawa, Other
0 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
"An eye for an eye makes the whole world go blind" Gandhi

this is really good I especially love the fourth paragraph C:

rosierose said...
on Jun. 1 2011 at 1:25 pm
I LOVED this...but there's only one thing that bothers me about it. 'some fugly anorexic super bitch' you're kind of making it sound like all anorexic people are bitches, which may not be the truth all the time. Just my opinion :)