The Color Of The Inside Of My Mouth | Teen Ink

The Color Of The Inside Of My Mouth MAG

January 22, 2009
By Bassoonkelley GOLD, Tampa, Florida
Bassoonkelley GOLD, Tampa, Florida
15 articles 0 photos 49 comments

I wipe at my stupid eyes with the back of my hand, and it startles me for a second that my tears are gray. I dunno why it surprised me; I mean, I buy the s***ty mascara that’s $1.99 in the 20 Items or Less checkout lane. Why spend oodles of green on something I hardly ever use?

I just wanted to look nice, you know? Like those girls who’re just naturally fake pretty. The girls who can blend shades of eyeshadow like no one’s business, and match their lipstick to the exact color of their toenail polish or whatever. Seemingly effortless, yet impeccably coordinated.

This is good stuff, I should write for a living – solely on the subject of beauty queens with superiority complexes, of course.

I just want … God, what do I want? I want to feel the sun on my face and paint the clouds and hear the music in the trees and love myself and love someone else and just feel perpetually beautiful.

But that requires the $14.99 waterproof, fire-retardant, Grade-5-hurricane-resistant mascara, not the tube that’s two bucks in Lane 4.

My shoes are dirty and outdated, but that’s how I like them. I like these shoes. They’re comfortable. Why do I need new, expensive, fashionably appealing shoes in order for someone to say, “Hey dogg, you look nice today”?

And why is it that whenever I get deathly bored and slather cheap, pore-clogging makeup all over my face everyone suddenly says, “Wow, you look pretty!”? Since when is “pretty” about whale blubber and cocoa butter?

I’ll tell you one thing, though. I most definitely am not crying about some stupid XY.

Definitely not.

I’m crying for all the whales that have to give up their fatty insulation so that some fugly anorexic super bitch can paint herself pretty every freaking day, giving him something halfway decent to oggle all the time.

Seriously, I’m not leaking saltwater over a guy.

I just think it’s cruel and unfair that the fat-endowed marine life population doesn’t even get the slightest warning that they’ll soon be on a cosmetics endcap at K-Mart.

He could have at least broken it to me gently, you know? We’ve been friends since the George Bush/Al Gore debacle.

I mean come the Bette Midler on.

I spill my blood, guts, and viscera out to this guy and he throws down the “Let’s just be friends” card without a second thought?

It’s just … it’s common courtesy to ease someone into heartbreak, not smash it over their head like a whiffleball bat.

You know what? I’m going to take my $1.99 checkout Lane 4 mascara and chuck it right at her big, stupid square head.

The author's comments:
This is literally an excerpt from my journal, so it's a little different when it comes to writing style.

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This article has 476 comments.

Malloy213 said...
on Nov. 2 2011 at 2:01 pm
Malloy213, Meowmix, Iowa
0 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
Try not to become a man of success but a man of value.
~Albert Einstein

All I can say is that this story is amazing

on Nov. 2 2011 at 12:20 pm

This article is so AMAZING! It's such a clever piece, very well-written, full of wit and beauty. I love so many lines, like "I want...God what do I want?" and "I'm not leaking saltwater over  a guy" and the usage of "XY". All I can say is...awesome! It's like I could have written this, the feelings...but I never could have, I'm not that great of a writer! 


on Nov. 2 2011 at 10:12 am
Amen to that!  I loved that XY reference...very witty.

on Nov. 2 2011 at 10:03 am
i really like this exept you should add what xp means

Lit.rox BRONZE said...
on Nov. 2 2011 at 7:00 am
Lit.rox BRONZE, Kandy, Other
4 articles 0 photos 28 comments
Very nice.I like the way it's written.

askingfish said...
on Oct. 12 2011 at 1:02 pm
askingfish, Spotsylvania, Virginia
0 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Dance like there's no one watching, Love like you'll never get hurt, Sing like there's no one listening, Live like there's heaven on earth."

Awesome! It's got a lot of attitude.

Sayuri97 GOLD said...
on Oct. 11 2011 at 8:11 pm
Sayuri97 GOLD, Gilford, New Hampshire
12 articles 0 photos 49 comments
Awesome! Loved it!

on Oct. 11 2011 at 7:55 pm
writingmagic26 BRONZE, Eureka, Missouri
2 articles 0 photos 34 comments
Wow, this is a journal entry?  You must be a kick-butt writer, if this is a journal entry for you.  I'm glad you shared this with us- most people would feel embarrassed- and your writing (even is it wasn't meant for anyone to see) is so inspiring!

-Duckie- GOLD said...
on Oct. 11 2011 at 4:24 pm
-Duckie- GOLD, West Fargo, North Dakota
18 articles 0 photos 127 comments

Favorite Quote:
Your heart is a weapon the size of your fist. Keep fighting. Keep loving.

Thank you for being honest this is so real... poor whales. stupid guy.

on Oct. 11 2011 at 3:45 pm
girlie, thank u for not being superficial, and giving a new unique voice in the crowd. and keep writing! that guy is gonna be srry he broke ur heart.

on Oct. 11 2011 at 12:39 pm
Kelso1093 BRONZE, Stanardsville, Virginia
4 articles 4 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don't be afraid of death; be afraid of the unlived life. You don't have to live forever, you just have to live.
~Tuck Everlasting

I know I'm only one voice in the crowd, but oh my goodness, this was amazing! I love it towards the end when you're denying the fact that you're upset over a guy bt saying that you care about the whales. This is simply beautiful :)

on Oct. 11 2011 at 12:34 pm
AngelHeart654 SILVER, Grand Island, Nebraska
8 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The perfect person is the last one in the tree"

Wow that is good You know what your doing. Good Job!! 

on Oct. 11 2011 at 8:50 am
Wildflower30 SILVER, Kolkata, Other
8 articles 0 photos 88 comments

Favorite Quote:
Create your own sayings, for only then do they make sense most. ---- Me

Wow! I know half of how you feel! The nerdy-yet-cool references... I do that, too! I won't say amazing work, because this is real emotion. Great job at expressing them! :):)
P.S. This reminds me of the song "Perfect" by P!nk. :P

on Oct. 11 2011 at 6:28 am
Libra97 PLATINUM, Salem, Oregon
34 articles 0 photos 45 comments
Wow, I love the raw emotion in this!  I've been trying to keep a journal, but I just can't do it, definetly not as good as you can.  Keep writing, this is AMAZING!  You capture the feelings perfectly :)

Claydub said...
on Sep. 19 2011 at 10:02 pm
Wow this is really good, and I rarely call poems good. Really, perfect. Great job.

on Sep. 19 2011 at 9:49 pm

Freakin awesome? No....

amazing? no....

beyond perfect? YES!!! :D

Wish i could write like that, I can't even freakin' WRITE a journal entry but trust me im going to try

on Sep. 19 2011 at 4:26 pm
xtelleste BRONZE, Brooklyn, New York
2 articles 0 photos 1 comment
Love it. Love it. Love it.

Chrissa5 said...
on Sep. 19 2011 at 3:19 pm
I really liked it :)

on Sep. 19 2011 at 2:59 am
AyeshaMuzaffar BRONZE, Lahore, Other
4 articles 0 photos 98 comments
I love the raw emotion. There's some thing in your words that makes me want to workship them, if you know hwa I mean. Great article.

on Sep. 19 2011 at 2:57 am
AyeshaMuzaffar BRONZE, Lahore, Other
4 articles 0 photos 98 comments
It depends, some times it can take about a month or some times 2 weeks. You never know, but it does take time.