The Color Of The Inside Of My Mouth | Teen Ink

The Color Of The Inside Of My Mouth MAG

January 22, 2009
By Bassoonkelley GOLD, Tampa, Florida
Bassoonkelley GOLD, Tampa, Florida
15 articles 0 photos 49 comments

I wipe at my stupid eyes with the back of my hand, and it startles me for a second that my tears are gray. I dunno why it surprised me; I mean, I buy the s***ty mascara that’s $1.99 in the 20 Items or Less checkout lane. Why spend oodles of green on something I hardly ever use?

I just wanted to look nice, you know? Like those girls who’re just naturally fake pretty. The girls who can blend shades of eyeshadow like no one’s business, and match their lipstick to the exact color of their toenail polish or whatever. Seemingly effortless, yet impeccably coordinated.

This is good stuff, I should write for a living – solely on the subject of beauty queens with superiority complexes, of course.

I just want … God, what do I want? I want to feel the sun on my face and paint the clouds and hear the music in the trees and love myself and love someone else and just feel perpetually beautiful.

But that requires the $14.99 waterproof, fire-retardant, Grade-5-hurricane-resistant mascara, not the tube that’s two bucks in Lane 4.

My shoes are dirty and outdated, but that’s how I like them. I like these shoes. They’re comfortable. Why do I need new, expensive, fashionably appealing shoes in order for someone to say, “Hey dogg, you look nice today”?

And why is it that whenever I get deathly bored and slather cheap, pore-clogging makeup all over my face everyone suddenly says, “Wow, you look pretty!”? Since when is “pretty” about whale blubber and cocoa butter?

I’ll tell you one thing, though. I most definitely am not crying about some stupid XY.

Definitely not.

I’m crying for all the whales that have to give up their fatty insulation so that some fugly anorexic super bitch can paint herself pretty every freaking day, giving him something halfway decent to oggle all the time.

Seriously, I’m not leaking saltwater over a guy.

I just think it’s cruel and unfair that the fat-endowed marine life population doesn’t even get the slightest warning that they’ll soon be on a cosmetics endcap at K-Mart.

He could have at least broken it to me gently, you know? We’ve been friends since the George Bush/Al Gore debacle.

I mean come the Bette Midler on.

I spill my blood, guts, and viscera out to this guy and he throws down the “Let’s just be friends” card without a second thought?

It’s just … it’s common courtesy to ease someone into heartbreak, not smash it over their head like a whiffleball bat.

You know what? I’m going to take my $1.99 checkout Lane 4 mascara and chuck it right at her big, stupid square head.

The author's comments:
This is literally an excerpt from my journal, so it's a little different when it comes to writing style.

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This article has 476 comments.

Iluv.... said...
on May. 10 2011 at 7:57 pm
this is incredible!! i cant believe how true it rly is...i kno luv the feeling it shows!

on May. 10 2011 at 7:24 pm
xprezzionstar BRONZE, Jeffersonville, Kentucky
3 articles 0 photos 57 comments

Favorite Quote:
All it takes it 20 seconds of insane courage and I promise you, something amazing will happen

omg i love this no exactly how u feel ik dis come from a diary but u culd turn this into a great novvel!

cutegirl97 said...
on May. 10 2011 at 9:46 am
cutegirl97, Claysburg, Pennsylvania
0 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
Listen to the mustn'ts,child, listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts.
Listen to the never have's, then listen close to me ... Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.

i love your emotion! some people just don't have the guts to tell it how it is but you sure do! keep writing!

on May. 10 2011 at 12:57 am
ZombiiEvelyn BRONZE, Sacramento, California
2 articles 1 photo 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
You were born original. Don;t die a copy. - John Mason

are all your diary entries like this? i like it. i often write in a journal or diary or whatever and feel like im regurgitating words instead of thoughts, like im stating facts in such a phony way, so i prefer not to rly wirte unless ive got somehting to say, which seems less and less now..

but anyways keep writing :) (sorry i have monkey brain)

Desiree(: said...
on May. 9 2011 at 12:34 pm
Goodd , but too bigg of word's ; lmao . XD It's confuseingg , but i gett itt . goodd workk ; keepp itt upp . (:

on Apr. 21 2011 at 3:34 pm
ImAnAlien SILVER, Grand Junction, Colorado
9 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
so stick that in your juice box and suck it

thats amazing i love it.

on Apr. 18 2011 at 4:41 pm
rubyrainstorm SILVER, Closter, New Jersey
7 articles 0 photos 275 comments

Favorite Quote:
Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.

Love it. You made it so real, and not a trying-to-write-all-flowery-and-elaborate-to-get-an-A-in-L.A. piece. Thank you for that breath of fresh air! BTW, if you have time, please check out my poems, THe Girl Inside, Remembering Spring, and You Are The Lyrics In Me. Thanks! 8)

MallyJo BRONZE said...
on Apr. 18 2011 at 12:57 pm
MallyJo BRONZE, Centerville, Iowa
4 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Never stop dreaming, for if you stop dreaming, the world loses it's beauty.""

The very last line made my day. It sounds like something I would actually do. Keep up the good work. :)

on Apr. 18 2011 at 11:51 am
maki_rain BRONZE, Rocklin, California
2 articles 1 photo 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
A hero is not a man more courageous than others, but a man courageous for a little while longer.

Wait to stay real. Nice piece by the way. It has personality.

on Apr. 18 2011 at 11:12 am
SimplyRachel PLATINUM, Charlotte, North Carolina
48 articles 6 photos 40 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift, that's why we call it the present."
"Things change, friends leave, and life doesn't stop for anybody."
~Stepgen Chbosky

I LOVE this!!! Its amazing!!!

on Mar. 27 2011 at 8:40 pm
bridgetmurphy14 BRONZE, Mattapoisett, Massachusetts
2 articles 4 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
"Without faith, actions are nothing."

I love this! This is so fantanstic!

on Mar. 27 2011 at 8:15 pm
Writergirl18 SILVER, North Tonawanda, New York
6 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't need to see where I am going, just need to know where I've been." - Tow Mater, CARS

This is awesome! It is time someone spoke out. Awesome Job!

on Mar. 27 2011 at 12:22 pm
TragicMagic SILVER, Smiths Grove, Kentucky
8 articles 1 photo 37 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life isn't about how popular you are... What girl or boy you are dating or who you know. Life is about always being true to who you are or what you believe in. Never let anyone convince you that their way is better than your way. In the end all we have is our hearts...and our minds. This is the reason why we sing... this is the reason why we cry... this is why we live."

I love that writing!!!!!!!!!!!!

Becca17 GOLD said...
on Mar. 25 2011 at 10:17 am
Becca17 GOLD, Belleville Ontario, Other
10 articles 0 photos 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
“Seven Deadly Sins:
Wealth without work
Pleasure without conscience
Science without humanity
Knowledge without character
Politics without principle
Commerce without morality
Worship without sacrifice.”
― Mahatma Gandhi

oh my gosh. one of the best articles i've ever read YOU GO GIRL!

Sandra said...
on Mar. 15 2011 at 10:09 pm
I love the humor! It makes me more interesting and makes me want to read more!

on Mar. 5 2011 at 7:23 pm
Rainbowmadhatter, Reno, Nevada
0 articles 0 photos 81 comments

i love this so much

it realtes to  my life live you have no idea.

im not popular pretty beautiful i have nothing that all of the so called "popular girls ' have and they are stuck up rude about it too

they say im not good enough to have a bf because i dont have what thay have.

it sucks i know and i lnow how u feel sbout it..well story of my life

ii really like this one guy too and he only wants to be friends but i really wanna be more.

i texted him last night explaini ng to him y i think that he doesnt wanna but he just said ur all that to the right guy and you'll find him and be happy but he just doesnt understand that he is the only ghuy that i love and want right now theres no one else thast i want NEARLY as much as i want him it sucks

well sorry all my complaining

gret story i absolutly love it

keep writing


TheDuck GOLD said...
on Mar. 5 2011 at 1:28 pm
TheDuck GOLD, Braselton, Georgia
11 articles 12 photos 77 comments

Favorite Quote:
“Raids, bullets, crime... no problem. A missing duster? Crisis."-The Last Sacrifice
"If we stand for nothing, we'll fall for anything." -All Time Low

I love it!

on Mar. 5 2011 at 12:37 pm
destined_for_fame BRONZE, Privet Drive, California
4 articles 3 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Shoot for the moon, because even if you miss you'll land among the stars."

I love the caustic humor, it reminds me of me. Definitely a great journal entry!

on Mar. 5 2011 at 12:22 pm
PaRaNoRmAl627 GOLD, Mountainside, New Jersey
15 articles 0 photos 296 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do what you want. If it's something you'll regret in the morning, sleep late."

I love the honesty here. It made me feel so guilty though, for worrying so much about what other people think of me. I think its really really great that you're able to be yourself without hiding behind makeup and expensive clothes and shoes. I'm sure you're beautiful.

Megabite8 said...
on Mar. 5 2011 at 10:18 am
I absolutely love how you're able to just let it all out. You change so effortlessly between what really happened and what you're trying to say happened. I love that. Great job! I feel like that a lot of the time... it stinks... im sorry.