Opulence | Teen Ink

Opulence MAG

May 1, 2008
By AquaGem SILVER, Kalamazoo, Michigan
AquaGem SILVER, Kalamazoo, Michigan
5 articles 0 photos 50 comments

Favorite Quote:
Nobody will ever win the Battle of the Sexes. There's just too much fraternizing with the enemy. ~Henry Kissinger

Life it too short to let you matter.


I’ve been watching him for days now. When he leaves his house to go to school, I’m the one carefully tailing him, switching cars every day to make myself look less suspicious. If he ever sneaks out of his second-story room, I’ll be the one silently watching from a nearby tree. In class when he turns, feeling eyes on the back of his head, I’m the one who sent the hair on the back of his neck up on end. I am the girl whose shadow is always slightly overlapping his.

Being assigned to watch him almost makes me
feel like I’m not a stalker. Though I’m only 17, I’m a full-fledged member of the organization known as O.P.U.L.E.N.C.E. I’ve been with them since the ­tender age of five. It’s my home. Being an orphan, my office is also my permanent residence, the couch a fold-out bed. There are many others like me: no family. A lot of us are loners and haven’t chosen this route for ourselves.

I’m a tracker. I have been for years and some might say that I am the best at not being the best. In other words, I’m great at being invisible. Or at not being noticed. It’s not as hard as the others in the organization think. Being young and female is good, since most we track are young. Seeing me around younger people – my age, actually – doesn’t raise alarm bells. It helps that I’m cute. With a small frame, light hazel eyes, and short blond hair that curls under my chin, I don’t appear threatening. Of course, my ­organization-funded training doesn’t back that theory.

Soon I won’t be tracking down others with the power. They are finally going to give me an apprentice. After years of mastering everything I’ve been taught, they see my potential. That’s not to say I know everything. Even with my extended life I won’t be able to learn all the things I want to. If only this annoying boy would show the signs. It’s been almost a week. If he doesn’t show soon, they’ll reassign me. That much longer until I get my apprentice.

So here I am, sipping a latté and waiting for the Target to leave for school. I have been put in all of his classes in case something happens there, though I graduated high school years ago. Private tutors sped things up. With no family or personal ties, I had lots of time to devote to my studies. Martial arts black belts. Twelve languages, not including English. Everything a girl needs for a serious career in the agency. Such positions of power are not handed out easily. You must prove yourself many times over.

The Target and I have never spoken, but I know a lot about him. His file told me some, but after watching him for only a few days, I feel confident in saying that I know things no one else does. Not just the obvious, either. He resents his father and is protective of his mother, which makes me suspect the father is less than faithful. He smiles often but doesn’t make a lot of eye contact. He usually only speaks when spoken to. Although he has many friends, he isn’t close with any of them. The Target is observant, a watcher. This leads me to believe we would get along if he shows any promise.

I look down at my watch, then back at his house a few blocks away. The Target is late, which means I’ll be late too. Today my ride is a shiny black sports car, not out of place in this suburb full of midlife-crisis men. I turn on the engine impatiently. I’m fiddling with the radio when I hear something. I don’t feel any immediate danger, and I know to trust those feelings. But I ­also know that something is off.

Just as I am about to get out of the car and pretend to look in the trunk, the passenger door opens. I look up in surprise as the Target slides into the seat next to me. I grin, quite pleased by this turn of events. This is definitely a good sign. Perhaps intuition is strong in him. That would be good for my apprentice to have, complementary. I could handle having to deal with that.

“Hello, Lenna. Why have you been following me for a week now?” the Target asks lightly, conversationally, his first words ever said in my direction.

Ah, one of my many aliases. The organization set it up so that whenever I’m on a case, I get a new name, past, and present. It’s very powerful. The organization can basically do anything it needs; it has people everywhere imaginable. I’m just one of many, though there aren’t that many at the top, as I am. They don’t trust many to be trackers. Or to be apprentices. All of the full members have the power, though we control others to get things done.

My smile deepens as I say in my authoritative, professional voice, “My real name is Jade. I am a witch of the moon and a tracker for the organization known as O.P.U.L.E.N.C.E. You are also a witch. We would like to formally welcome you into the organization as my apprentice. Here is my card for verification.”

Jade Wordsworth
Tracker for O.P.U.L.E.N.C.E
Official Political Understanding Lending ­Everyone ­Navigation for Co-Existing Ethereals
Office hours: 8 a.m.-3 p.m. Mon-Sat
Phone: 555-5555
Proud league of witches of the sun and moon.
Worldwide.

“What do you mean ‘moon and sun’? Or ‘tracker’?” he asks, still looking at my card like it’s going to ­disappear.

“Types of magic. Moon is all about spells, the sun is more potion-based, though each type of witchcraft involves the other somehow. As a tracker, I find people like you and I bring them to O.P.U.L.E.N.C.E. Every witch must register, train, and become a member by law. In fact, the organization is like a government targeted toward witches,” I explain with a smile, loving the fact that this time I get to teach the newbie.

“Magic? Seriously?” he asks, eyes wide, meeting mine. They are large, yellow, and catlike.

I click a button on my left, automatically locking the doors. I put the car into drive, pulling out onto the road. As an afterthought I add as a courtesy, “I think you had better come with me.” .



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This article has 896 comments.


on Aug. 17 2009 at 1:02 am
EstherSora GOLD, Woodside, New York
17 articles 1 photo 5 comments
I'm so confused. Can anyone explain to me what this story is about/means?

Kit-Kat SILVER said...
on Aug. 14 2009 at 5:04 pm
Kit-Kat SILVER, Nashua, New Hampshire
6 articles 0 photos 19 comments
THough creative, I thought the basic plotline of this story is a little over-done. If you added more components that were less classic ("sun and moon" "potion and spells") to the whole witch/wizard idea, I think it would have wowed me more, though I really liked it otherwise. Good job!

on Aug. 9 2009 at 9:02 pm
It was ok. There were a lot of parts that seemed confusing.

ali gowdan said...
on Aug. 3 2009 at 10:02 am
ali gowdan, Perth, Other
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment
wow i am new just read i think it ok

on Jul. 30 2009 at 6:55 pm
This was a good interesting story the conflict was great, the character fit in the story well, i loved the story, especially the mystery and suspense it could of had a little more action though. The story had a lot of scenery.The conflict was tense, the position she was put into was overwhelming.

on Jul. 30 2009 at 6:55 pm
I think this story is very deep because it sounds like it came straight from the heart<33 and i also like that you said things that a lot of people wouldn't say in public.... but also i liked the way you expressed yourself in words not only was it just deep it was interesting to read and i wanted to read more of it. i like the way jade took care of the conflict with pride.i like the way jade's character transformed differently...

pebbles said...
on Jul. 30 2009 at 6:55 pm
i think that this story was kind of confusing.It had a good beginning but at end it got confusing but keep it up with your publishing!!!!!! i also think that you have good details :) this story touch my heart. your story was good just don't be confusing in the ending.

it left me wanting to know more about what was going to happen next in your story.bye hope to read more about your story

KC said...
on Jul. 30 2009 at 6:52 pm
It was a good story and very interesting at the end. At first it was kind of boring and then it got interesting. It just like said that she was stalking him and stalking him. The characters were really interesting and cool. And my favorite part was the end because she reveals her really identity.

on Jul. 30 2009 at 6:51 pm
I really enjoyed reading your story. This may be one of the best fiction stories yet. This story has suspicion and also surprises. This story was very interesting because of the way the character expresses herself in a way that she is and on what she does. The character has many different personalities and skills. The conflicts in this story are very detailed and explained in a way. I would really recommend this story to my friends to read because it has a sense of suspicion.

KRAZZY :0 said...
on Jul. 30 2009 at 6:49 pm
Okay this story is a very interesting story. I really liked how you started the story because the drama makes the reader wonder how the story will develope and how the character will grow that is great.You had many conflicts presented to the character and I liked how you helped her be more strong with athority at the end when the girl met the young boy entered her car. The intimidating question that the boy made to Jade was awsome because I thought that she was going to be scared and run away but she stayed and told him the truth. That was a great story and keep up the good writing habit.

The NRsk8er said...
on Jul. 30 2009 at 6:45 pm
the story was great and had an interesting plot twist....for the length of it

K said...
on Jul. 30 2009 at 4:35 pm
This was a good story and you did a good jobbb:) -Karen



Your story was great i really loved it hope you keep on writing good story good luck =)-Emily

LadyLuck GOLD said...
on Jul. 5 2009 at 11:54 pm
LadyLuck GOLD, Cumming, Georgia
14 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
Write it on your heart that every day is the best day of the year. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Hey, this seems like a good start to a story. It could really be interesting with the witches and all. of course, I might just be saying that because I like witches. anyways, I though it was an interesting idea, but could definatly use some more. and i was just wondering, why do the witches have to be part of "opulence"? and why is Jade's apprentice the same age as her? just wondering. keep up the good work!

on Jul. 4 2009 at 9:20 pm
&#9829;D|annaa&#9829; BRONZE, Duxbury, Massachusetts
1 article 1 photo 2 comments
Great story, great skill-keep it up. :)

mj357 said...
on Jun. 30 2009 at 6:43 pm
i think it is a good start for a very good story

BriffStick said...
on Jun. 23 2009 at 4:36 pm
Nice use of acronym.

Mitch Rogers said...
on Jun. 22 2009 at 7:27 pm
Mitch Rogers, Spokane, Washington
0 articles 0 photos 5 comments
Hmmm... Not really enough there, but still Pretty Decent. I didn't especially like the story, but the writing was good. Nice work.

shina said...
on Jun. 19 2009 at 11:50 pm
This was an interesting piece, I liked it. ^^ But I think if you were to continue writing this you may want to change a few things.



For one, Jade seems a bit too much like a Mary-Sue, or a perfect character. That's a no-no. Your main character needs to have flaws, and no, being clumsy does not count as a flaw. The flaw has to somehow affect the characters abilities.



Also, you need to learn how to show and not tell. This whole entry was Jade basically narrating her introduction when you could've brought the character in by "showing" the setting and the things around them.



Make Jade a little less Mary-Sue and show and not tell, and you'll be doing fine :) You've got potential to be a great writer, so I'll recommend the Young Writer's Society for you. www.youngwriterssociety.com

-Shina

bookaddict said...
on Jun. 17 2009 at 11:00 pm
I loved this, it was actually one of the first things i've read on teenink! It's very interesting. I was hoping that you maight continue this story...are you? :)

emma said...
on Jun. 17 2009 at 11:40 am
this is kinda creepy...

but good writing