Opulence | Teen Ink

Opulence MAG

May 1, 2008
By AquaGem SILVER, Kalamazoo, Michigan
AquaGem SILVER, Kalamazoo, Michigan
5 articles 0 photos 50 comments

Favorite Quote:
Nobody will ever win the Battle of the Sexes. There's just too much fraternizing with the enemy. ~Henry Kissinger

Life it too short to let you matter.


I’ve been watching him for days now. When he leaves his house to go to school, I’m the one carefully tailing him, switching cars every day to make myself look less suspicious. If he ever sneaks out of his second-story room, I’ll be the one silently watching from a nearby tree. In class when he turns, feeling eyes on the back of his head, I’m the one who sent the hair on the back of his neck up on end. I am the girl whose shadow is always slightly overlapping his.

Being assigned to watch him almost makes me
feel like I’m not a stalker. Though I’m only 17, I’m a full-fledged member of the organization known as O.P.U.L.E.N.C.E. I’ve been with them since the ­tender age of five. It’s my home. Being an orphan, my office is also my permanent residence, the couch a fold-out bed. There are many others like me: no family. A lot of us are loners and haven’t chosen this route for ourselves.

I’m a tracker. I have been for years and some might say that I am the best at not being the best. In other words, I’m great at being invisible. Or at not being noticed. It’s not as hard as the others in the organization think. Being young and female is good, since most we track are young. Seeing me around younger people – my age, actually – doesn’t raise alarm bells. It helps that I’m cute. With a small frame, light hazel eyes, and short blond hair that curls under my chin, I don’t appear threatening. Of course, my ­organization-funded training doesn’t back that theory.

Soon I won’t be tracking down others with the power. They are finally going to give me an apprentice. After years of mastering everything I’ve been taught, they see my potential. That’s not to say I know everything. Even with my extended life I won’t be able to learn all the things I want to. If only this annoying boy would show the signs. It’s been almost a week. If he doesn’t show soon, they’ll reassign me. That much longer until I get my apprentice.

So here I am, sipping a latté and waiting for the Target to leave for school. I have been put in all of his classes in case something happens there, though I graduated high school years ago. Private tutors sped things up. With no family or personal ties, I had lots of time to devote to my studies. Martial arts black belts. Twelve languages, not including English. Everything a girl needs for a serious career in the agency. Such positions of power are not handed out easily. You must prove yourself many times over.

The Target and I have never spoken, but I know a lot about him. His file told me some, but after watching him for only a few days, I feel confident in saying that I know things no one else does. Not just the obvious, either. He resents his father and is protective of his mother, which makes me suspect the father is less than faithful. He smiles often but doesn’t make a lot of eye contact. He usually only speaks when spoken to. Although he has many friends, he isn’t close with any of them. The Target is observant, a watcher. This leads me to believe we would get along if he shows any promise.

I look down at my watch, then back at his house a few blocks away. The Target is late, which means I’ll be late too. Today my ride is a shiny black sports car, not out of place in this suburb full of midlife-crisis men. I turn on the engine impatiently. I’m fiddling with the radio when I hear something. I don’t feel any immediate danger, and I know to trust those feelings. But I ­also know that something is off.

Just as I am about to get out of the car and pretend to look in the trunk, the passenger door opens. I look up in surprise as the Target slides into the seat next to me. I grin, quite pleased by this turn of events. This is definitely a good sign. Perhaps intuition is strong in him. That would be good for my apprentice to have, complementary. I could handle having to deal with that.

“Hello, Lenna. Why have you been following me for a week now?” the Target asks lightly, conversationally, his first words ever said in my direction.

Ah, one of my many aliases. The organization set it up so that whenever I’m on a case, I get a new name, past, and present. It’s very powerful. The organization can basically do anything it needs; it has people everywhere imaginable. I’m just one of many, though there aren’t that many at the top, as I am. They don’t trust many to be trackers. Or to be apprentices. All of the full members have the power, though we control others to get things done.

My smile deepens as I say in my authoritative, professional voice, “My real name is Jade. I am a witch of the moon and a tracker for the organization known as O.P.U.L.E.N.C.E. You are also a witch. We would like to formally welcome you into the organization as my apprentice. Here is my card for verification.”

Jade Wordsworth
Tracker for O.P.U.L.E.N.C.E
Official Political Understanding Lending ­Everyone ­Navigation for Co-Existing Ethereals
Office hours: 8 a.m.-3 p.m. Mon-Sat
Phone: 555-5555
Proud league of witches of the sun and moon.
Worldwide.

“What do you mean ‘moon and sun’? Or ‘tracker’?” he asks, still looking at my card like it’s going to ­disappear.

“Types of magic. Moon is all about spells, the sun is more potion-based, though each type of witchcraft involves the other somehow. As a tracker, I find people like you and I bring them to O.P.U.L.E.N.C.E. Every witch must register, train, and become a member by law. In fact, the organization is like a government targeted toward witches,” I explain with a smile, loving the fact that this time I get to teach the newbie.

“Magic? Seriously?” he asks, eyes wide, meeting mine. They are large, yellow, and catlike.

I click a button on my left, automatically locking the doors. I put the car into drive, pulling out onto the road. As an afterthought I add as a courtesy, “I think you had better come with me.” .



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This article has 896 comments.


on Apr. 3 2009 at 7:34 pm
OhMyGod123Peter BRONZE, Mastic, New York
3 articles 0 photos 5 comments
i fell in love with this.

i read it like 8 times.

and even showed it to my bestfriend.

(:

check out my writing!

thanks..

buhhbyez

on Apr. 3 2009 at 1:54 am
JamieDitaranto SILVER, Paramus, New Jersey
6 articles 0 photos 3 comments
i like it but the other charachter seems very gullible

-Kal- GOLD said...
on Apr. 3 2009 at 1:52 am
-Kal- GOLD, Carthage, North Carolina
14 articles 0 photos 244 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Faith sees the invisible, believes the incredible, and recieves the impossible"
-Anonymous

i agree with Ren-P. this was a really great article. i dont really get y everyone is comparing it to twilight, but this story has great potential, and you seem like a really good author. i hope to see the rest of this story sometime soon, and others besides. maybe try writing a full book and getting it published? i would love to see it in a store. great job :)

Jamie Wild said...
on Apr. 1 2009 at 11:44 pm
Jamie Wild, Bourne, Massachusetts
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment
This is a very good peice of writing.

I was reading other comments and noticed many people said that the ending came too quickly.

I agree. The fact that the boy seemed to agree to everything she said seemed a little unrealistic.

Great job, though. I love it.

CeciCardew said...
on Apr. 1 2009 at 11:16 pm
CeciCardew, Boca Raton, Florida
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment
You have a great narrator voice! I can actually see why some people are likening your work to Twilight because your style is reminiscent of Stephanie Meyer. Still, it would be nice if you went a little more in depth about your character's backstory. Also, people aren't told that they are a witch every day. Maybe you should play out the boy's reaction a little more.

on Mar. 31 2009 at 2:40 pm
the begening was very well written and the story kept my attenshion the whole time. the ending seemed unbelievible with the boy just going along with it, if you had him freak out and have her chace him or something like that the ending would have been much better.good job

brinamcg said...
on Mar. 29 2009 at 4:56 am
when I say it is well written. I never said it was like twilight I just said I enjoyed reading it almost as much as the twilight saga.

ff5fan SILVER said...
on Mar. 28 2009 at 7:31 pm
ff5fan SILVER, Loganville, Georgia
7 articles 0 photos 18 comments

Favorite Quote:
Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
-Mark Twain

at first i thought i was reading a re-make of twilight or something..but it was pretty good.

i think you could've put more detail into it but overall i liked it.

kim1010 said...
on Mar. 27 2009 at 10:22 am
It's an interesting story. Consider submit it to thebluepencil.net.

Ebony BRONZE said...
on Mar. 26 2009 at 12:00 am
Ebony BRONZE, Douglasville, Georgia
1 article 0 photos 1 comment
This is great.

I love the idea.

It's one of those stories that you just can't stop reading.

It's great.

on Mar. 25 2009 at 4:57 am
Kaylee_big_sis_of_3 SILVER, Anchorage, Alaska
7 articles 0 photos 8 comments
WOW

mayarkms said...
on Mar. 25 2009 at 12:50 am
I read a book kinda like this before, but I still like it a lot

on Mar. 24 2009 at 9:20 pm
Kaitlyn Jensen, San Jose, California
0 articles 0 photos 2 comments
This is a fascinating idea.

I just think the ending happened too fast. The boy's immediate acceptance of everything is unrealistic.

Extremely well written, though. And creative idea.

Sean W said...
on Mar. 24 2009 at 12:41 am
This is really good. I think it might be a bestseller soon.

on Mar. 23 2009 at 7:15 pm
YeseniaG SILVER, Livonia, Michigan
7 articles 1 photo 122 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is what happens when you're busy making plans.

Good story. I read a book sort of like this.

on Mar. 22 2009 at 11:25 pm
elvinchangling55 SILVER, Malverne, New York
6 articles 0 photos 50 comments
i love it!!! end of story!!! i think it is a great mix of magic and adventure! i really want to know more and i dont understand where all that twilight stuff got in i didnt come away with thta feeling at all!! Great work!!

on Mar. 22 2009 at 3:57 pm
DeeBear1982 BRONZE, Houston, Texas
4 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It's the Joshua tree's struggle that makes it beautiful" -The glass castle

it has potential, maybe you could work on it.



And i like how at the begining you made it sound like she was stalking a hot guy, then turned it around. It is a very nice hook!!!!!

Miaoru said...
on Mar. 21 2009 at 11:27 pm
Miaoru, Sunnyside, New York
0 articles 0 photos 57 comments
Your an awesome writer, with a lot of potential! I love your well-developed characters, plot, and theme!

on Mar. 19 2009 at 8:03 pm
HorseGirl SILVER, Louisville, Kentucky
8 articles 0 photos 1 comment
It was a great plot, and great writing at the beginning! You lost most the excitment towards the end, and it seemed that you were rushing the ending almost. You could fill in some blanks, cuz' this leaves something to be desired for sure.

on Mar. 19 2009 at 12:02 am
italianxbonafide BRONZE, Staten Island, New York
3 articles 0 photos 3 comments
this story was really good. I loved it.



i just got started on this website, and im looking for some rates and feedback, negative or positive



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