Razed Expectations | Teen Ink

Razed Expectations

December 24, 2009
By Vanished BRONZE, Change, Colorado
Vanished BRONZE, Change, Colorado
1 article 0 photos 53 comments

Wisps of smoke danced into the wintry air from my lips, creating ornate designs that could never be replicated. I carefully tilted the corners of my lips into a smile that I meant to be wry. Of course, it's difficult to articulate emotions that I can't feel, but I find that irony is relatively simple to demonstrate. I inhaled the toxic vapors of the cigarette casually. Its sinister, black cancer couldn't cripple a seventeen-year-old boy with no lungs, let alone a heart.
I glanced in the direction of the horizon, and flinched. The sun was dying flamboyantly, casting its radiant colors across the sky. Its last waves of light caressed my cold, pale skin. I wanted to snarl rebelliously as I felt its warmth slide against me deviously.
“Beautiful, isn’t it?”
My muscles went rigid, and I had to focus madly on controlling my shaking hands. I would know that voice, that beautiful, disastrous voice, in the realms beyond that of Earth. I grated my teeth, reeling in the disturbing sensations that she unknowingly always aroused in me.
I cocked my body towards her arrogantly, and lifted my mouth into a crooked crescent moon. I felt my eyes flashing, but I worked vehemently to fixate an arctic, hard tone into the dark of my indigo irises.
“I find the sunset lifeless and meaningless, actually,” I countered flatly, and a beat too late.
She laughed merrily, and I struggled within myself as my mind and body became entranced by the beautiful movement of her laughter as the colors of the sun played about her.
“You amuse me, Darian. How can you have such a pessimistic view of the world? The sun will not be lifeless until it disappears beneath the horizon, and the night falls. It’ll rise tomorrow, though,” she said.
I dared not think of her name. I hated the way my soul-if I had a soul-thrilled when her voice lingered over my name. It reminded me of music. I had to close my mind defiantly as I thought of music. I wanted nothing that resembled passion.
“That’s an inane notion that foolish women entertain. You want poetry, and ridiculous vows of forever. You aren’t difficult to read. If you want that sunset to mean something, then you want unrequited love. It doesn’t work like that,” I growled unmercifully, angry at her for unleashing the flood of feelings upon me.
Her lovely green eyes shifted into hard emeralds.
“What do you know about me, Dare? And what’s so wrong with having dreams? And why are you talking to me like that? I was simply commenting on the sunset.” She tossed her red curls, clearly miffed.
I lifted my chin, and blew smoke in her face. It was easier on me when she was angry. I don’t know why she bothered with me. Why she was brave enough to confront me. Why she didn’t follow the laws of the superficial high school we both attended. Why she didn’t stay away from me, like everyone else.
“You’ll die from that smoking, Darian.” She glared at me. We’d had this argument a lot. I lifted my eyebrows, and turned away from her, signaling that the conversation was over.
She didn’t obey, and I sighed.
“You know, Dare, you could let yourself feel. You could understand it.” Her voice was soft, a whisper in the darkening air. She was air. My air.
I reviled the potency of the emotions I could feel pulsing through me. I ran a hand through my black hair nervously, my body skidding with strange, unfamiliar energy. I didn’t want to answer her. Why didn’t she leave?
I made a fatal mistake when I looked at her. Every nerve inside of me screamed, as though my body and internal organs were recharging hurriedly in the rare moment of my awakening.
I think I felt my heart beat hesitantly.
My voice seemed like that of a stranger. It had a rich, deep tone to it. It had color.
“Understand what?”
Something in my expression changed the way she was looking at me. It may have mirrored the arrangement of my own features. She became vulnerable in that instant.
“Kiss me.” She whispered brokenly.
Surprise jolted keenly through me. God, I wished I was numb again. Everything felt electric-too intense and too vivid. Emotions scattered across my being, a mutinous invasion of the raging war against myself. I was defenseless and an easy prey to her request. I breathed jaggedly, and there was a husky vibe to it. Want. I recognized it more clearly as it bloomed vibrantly through me.
And she was waiting. For me.
I destroyed the walls I had so warily built as I leaned towards her. She lifted a creamy hand and laid it tenderly against my cheek, the expectation making her bold. I moaned, and closed my eyes. My own hands loosened, and reached for her face greedily
Something hot-burning-ignited against my skin. I wrenched myself away, dazed by the unpleasant sensation. Had a spark traveled through our bodies? That’s when I noticed the cigarette kindling like a faint ember beside my marred hand. It had burnt me. The throbbing pain brought a wave of consciousness through me. Reality. And I stared at her face, inches from mine, and something clicked inside of me. Gears that began humming smoothly, like a tuned clock. I pulled back, and tossed her hand away like it stung. I grimaced as the vitals within me slowly resumed their state of nothingness, and shook my head to clear it of its nonsensical ideas.
She watched the change take possession of me, and tears began to collect in her eyes.
I found that I could care less.
I grinned at her, and mocked, “I taste of cigarettes, Clara.”
She got up shockingly to her feet, and backed away as if understanding for the first time what I was. Tears stained her nondescript face.
I smiled, that careful replication of a smile, and said acidly, “Did I humor your silly fantasies well?”
Her face crumpled entirely, and she pivoted away and ran sobbing from my scathing ridicule.
The sun died, and all was dark.

The author's comments:
Reality sings truthfully against the generic lyrics of fantasy. What does your soul and heart sing of?

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This article has 206 comments.

fairee GOLD said...
on Sep. 3 2010 at 7:00 pm
fairee GOLD, Fort Collins, Colorado
13 articles 5 photos 33 comments
Ok... well its just my opinion. 

Moogs said...
on Aug. 31 2010 at 5:27 pm
Moogs, Frankenmuth, Michigan
0 articles 0 photos 20 comments


i dont see it

i mean thats kinda a browd 'all vampires' kinda thing


fairee GOLD said...
on Aug. 31 2010 at 4:55 pm
fairee GOLD, Fort Collins, Colorado
13 articles 5 photos 33 comments
Maybe not as mean as the character in this but he was cold and edgy.  

Moogs said...
on Aug. 31 2010 at 11:20 am
Moogs, Frankenmuth, Michigan
0 articles 0 photos 20 comments

idk how it does that

he was never mean to her


Moogs said...
on Aug. 31 2010 at 11:19 am
Moogs, Frankenmuth, Michigan
0 articles 0 photos 20 comments

ur stupid

their vocab use made it 10 times better than it woulda been without it

this is like AMAZING


on Jun. 28 2010 at 2:36 pm
CheerfullyBlue GOLD, Santa Clarita, California
14 articles 9 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Forever is an awfully long time." -Peter and Wendy
"To die, would be an awfully big adventure." -Peter and Wendy

Wow that was really good. definatly keep writing!!

on Jun. 4 2010 at 4:28 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1752 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

Fabulous story, love Darian's aloofness and cruelty, adds an edge of reality.  If they get accepted, could you please read some of my work?  And keep writing!

Anj16 GOLD said...
on Jun. 3 2010 at 12:07 pm
Anj16 GOLD, Eagan, Minnesota
19 articles 0 photos 74 comments
you have a talent. one thing, though. don't rely too much on adverbs and adjectives. minimize the use a little bit.

on Jun. 1 2010 at 9:23 pm
dancewritedream SILVER, S. Dartmouth, Massachusetts
5 articles 0 photos 22 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Masquerading as a normal person day after day is exhausting."

You could seriously just write a book around these few lines! I would read it ten times over. It's dark, very dark, but I think it's perfect that way. It feels very real and very true.

cass said...
on May. 18 2010 at 7:57 pm
this does sound a lot like Edward and Bella but I still really liked it

Anj16 GOLD said...
on May. 15 2010 at 12:40 pm
Anj16 GOLD, Eagan, Minnesota
19 articles 0 photos 74 comments
it's good, but you have to minimize the use of adverbs and adjectives. sometime's it's a bit too much.

on May. 10 2010 at 8:49 pm
JacintaT BRONZE, Brisbane, Other
4 articles 0 photos 33 comments
This was incredible. I can't really explain how this story made me feel, but I had tears in my eyes by the end. It was though I could feel the was Clara was feeling. Please keep writing! LOVED IT.

on Apr. 23 2010 at 6:26 pm
LoveHappens PLATINUM, London, Other
27 articles 0 photos 21 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Dream Like You'd Die Tomorrow"

This story is incredible, had me hooked from the opening line!! Keep writing :)

fairee GOLD said...
on Apr. 23 2010 at 6:07 pm
fairee GOLD, Fort Collins, Colorado
13 articles 5 photos 33 comments
This little bit reminds me of Edward and Bella's relationship.  But I love your word choice, please write more this was really intriuging. 

on Apr. 23 2010 at 5:57 pm
EllaMcFarley BRONZE, Madison, Wisconsin
4 articles 0 photos 34 comments

Favorite Quote:
"See ya later, Herc, it's been a real slice." -Megera from Hercules (my avatar!)
"I can't turn left!" -Zoolander
"Someone get these mother f***ing snakes off this mother f***ing plane!" -Samuel L. Jackson in Snakes On a Plane (funniest movie ever)

ohhhh goooood!! are you planning to continue this?? loooove it!!

on Apr. 12 2010 at 6:03 pm
SilverLuna SILVER, _________, Washington
8 articles 0 photos 229 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Come fairies take me out of this dull world, for I would ride with you upon the wind and dance upon the mountains like a flame.".... W.B. Yeats.
"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Douglas Adams

I'm pretty sure I already posted awhile back saying how much I loved this piece, but I thought it'd be worth saying it again. This is singularly spectacular! What I don't understand is why you haven't posted anymore work...your screen name seems to fit aptly enough, but, I as one of your fans, would like it if you posted some new work and it seems like alot of other people would agree with me. I have more of my own work posted as well and, if you ever return to teenink, I would love for you to read it. So please, do us all a favor and post more work. And, whoops, sorry for creating such a long post. lol

on Apr. 11 2010 at 3:01 pm
LiveLife2theMax GOLD, Wicklow, Other
12 articles 4 photos 74 comments

Favorite Quote:
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.
-Robert Frost

I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.
-Kurt Cobain

Wow, you know the way when you read something and you get like this intense shiver that lasts. It doesnt happen too often, well not to me, but this made me shiver, especially at the very end when he built his walls back up. dude, it was thoroughly amazing.

so... wil there be more??!! pleease

ssssss BRONZE said...
on Apr. 9 2010 at 12:54 pm
ssssss BRONZE, Pleasant Prairie, Wisconsin
1 article 0 photos 28 comments

Favorite Quote:
If you love something, let it go, if it comes back to you it's yours, if it doesn't, it never was.

WOW!!!!! That was really good. Keep writing

on Apr. 5 2010 at 8:03 am
katiebeth___ SILVER, Richmond, Virginia
8 articles 0 photos 18 comments

Favorite Quote:
Que sera, sera.:)

you were REALLY good. Like amazing  good. Great adjectives and you know how to speak to your readers.:) good story.

Breaking said...
on Apr. 2 2010 at 6:56 pm
WOW. I was so blown away by your talent. You were so good at revealing people's souls. Your characters were amazing in depth and personality. I LOVED your writing.