Breakup Advice | Teen Ink

Breakup Advice

September 24, 2009
By Anonymous

After those amazing relationships end, you have to ask yourself how things will continue. If you broke up with your partner, you must either be unhappy with them, mad at them, tired of them, or some other circumstance. So, if it is you who breaks up with the other, stop and think. As one single person, you don't have any idea what the other might go through. One moment to you is completely different that that of another. For example, you might go on a date and have the time of your life, oblivious to that fact that the one you care for is about to slit their wrists in boredom.
Just and example.
But that is something that you can relate to a breakup. You might think that things are better off without the other. They might be tripping and falling behind you, trying to catch up and get you back. It happens a lot, and these breakups are the worst. I myself went through one. And I've scraped my knees so much over these past to years tripping and falling after her(yes, two years. She's so beautiful I can't stop thinking about her). I've found out the the first and most important thing you can do to stay out of those horrible, bad break ups, is to forget. Easier said then done, right? Well, there is only one way to completely get over such a thing. Overwrite the memories that the two of you shared. Now, people call this a rebound, but isn't every boyfriend/girlfriend after the first a rebound? You must make better memories with this person. Have a greater time, and think about the new things you share rather then all the things you used to share with the other. Take it from me, with time, almost everything is mendable.


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This article has 472 comments.


on Sep. 19 2010 at 10:05 pm
apocalyptigirl BRONZE, Staunton, Virginia
4 articles 2 photos 285 comments

Favorite Quote:
"DON'T PANIC." ~from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams

I think it's time for you to di.tch that jer.k. Warn your new bf about this guy caleb in advance, tho...

on Sep. 19 2010 at 9:59 pm
apocalyptigirl BRONZE, Staunton, Virginia
4 articles 2 photos 285 comments

Favorite Quote:
"DON'T PANIC." ~from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams

Thank you!

on Sep. 19 2010 at 9:57 pm
apocalyptigirl BRONZE, Staunton, Virginia
4 articles 2 photos 285 comments

Favorite Quote:
"DON'T PANIC." ~from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams

I ha.te the thought of being someone's rebound or using someone as my rebound. It's cruel and selfish and cheats them out of so much. Not to mention that if you're just using someone to get over someone else, you're simply avoiding the pain instead of confronting it. Let me make an analogy: using someone as a rebound is like drin.king to get over a loss, replacing one high with another--it's like quitting smok.ing and then bin.ge-eating instead, and what are you going to do once you're "over" the other and bored with this new person? You find yourself in the position of the dumper, and the other person is left with all the hurt feelings you had when you original bf/gf broke up with you. Congratulations, you've just started the cycle over again, and it's never going to stop.

on Sep. 19 2010 at 7:39 pm
Blooper195 PLATINUM, McKinney, Texas
45 articles 0 photos 27 comments

Favorite Quote:
This life ain't that bad.

ive given him a year now. he told me a few weeks ago that he considers me his best friend now. i really dont wanna ruin that, so i guess ill just have to wait for the heart ache to wash itself away. thanks for the advice, but it didnt and hasnt worked. he's even told me he doesnt like his girlfriend very much anymore! why doesnt he see?

Kelkel1185 said...
on Sep. 17 2010 at 10:58 am

I agree completely with cyanidesun.  I have had some experience in relationships with this.  Burying memories does nothing but bring the memories back in a flood thats very hard to fight off.  After heartbreak i try to heal and be happy with myself, because i feel its not fair to the other people i could be in relationships with, since i can't give them my whole heart.

And maybe you cant find someone who knows exactly how you feel all the time like in literature, but love can happen in many ways on many levels of depth


leila12 BRONZE said...
on Sep. 5 2010 at 3:53 pm
leila12 BRONZE, Lexington, Nebraska
1 article 0 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Take too many pictures, laugh a lot, love like you've never been hurt, because every 60 seconds you spend being upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back."

that is definately true. i had never thought of it that way. great piece!!!

Krystal said...
on Aug. 30 2010 at 10:52 pm
i totally know what you mean ! i had a mate that liked the guy i was dating and that she was going out with his bestfriend . and she had told the guy that she was dating that she wanted to be the most important girl in his bestfriends life. when i found out i was furious. no best friend would ever do that right ? .... i got angry at her and didnt talk to her for awhile and ,my bf said not to worry evrything will be okay.. soon after they were hanging out heaps and me and her bf spoke to our partners and he came back alright & sorted out stuff with her and i came back in TEARS .. i thought to myself how did this happen ? me and my bf spoke and he had said that nothing was gonna happen between them and stuff but some how he just took it too far and took her over me !!!!! :( .. and 6 months later im still not over him !

on Aug. 30 2010 at 4:36 pm
Screammyname BRONZE, Seattle, Washington
2 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
You can be a king or a street sweeper but everybody dances with the grim reaper

High school relationships suck. But high school relationships will always suck from the time I am fifteen to the time I am eighteen, I am not the first to make this statement you have to understand that we are what we are. But because I’m in high school you must realize that it’s all I have for now and a girl’s gotta have some fun sometimes, so I set my mind to the fact that hurting will be routine and to get over my melodramatic blubbering mess of a self. The first three days of my very first break up ever I spent crying and crying and I froze spoons in the fridge to make the swelling go down so my mom wouldn’t notice. But then I hoped she wouldn’t notice the spoons. I cried in his arms for a total of three hours, he cried once and not for very long and I hate to admit that it made me stop and I almost smiled. I’m sure this may be one of the meanest things I’ve ever done, the fact that I was happy for his stress and hurt. That’s high school, sick love, stress, and hurt.

 

He couldn’t have been happy when I cried, he wiped my tears and told me he hated to see my like this. I am a terrible person. I tried to punch him in the stomach at first but he looked at me as if I’d hurt his feelings and it was so strange and all my weak little self could do was fall into his shoulder and stain his shirt with tears. It’s hard to be friends, it’s impossible to be friends but not because I hate him. No way, hating him is unimaginable, it’s useless, impervious, please lets stop talking about it. What I want to know is how do two people that loved each other and spent a lot of time wishing they were together for almost an entire eight months, then spending everyday together for an entire summer just suddenly become friends even when they still want to go on loving each other? 

 

This is the boy I almost gave everything to because I wanted to be his everything. And it’s the stupidest sounding thing in the world, I know, and I didn’t think people our age were even capable of loving each other but they are. It’s just there, it’s right in front of us so how can we not embrace it in a way that will make us dizzy with laughter. It’s that simple isn’t it? Other wise why on earth would his favorite dress be stained with the stupid tears he made me cry? That’s why I kiss him on the cheek but I kind of miss and get the edge of his lips and our friends are standing next to us, shoulder to shoulder, back to back waiting for a concert, is this weird? I can feel their eyes on me in hidden shock and I wonder what they think. Actually they’re probably not shocked, they think the whole thing is stupid and that we’ll perhaps get back together. 

 

I just hope he somehow knows that I’m still in love with him, I want to whisper it to him but I don’t and I regret it for the second time. Only I know he’s still in love with me too because later he grasps my waste and I think I’m confused, am i? No, because it never felt like we ended, I hardly notice his arm, later I think I imagined it, I wish I had counted the number of seconds his warm arm was there because I don’t even recall when or how he pulled it away. And then when the concert ends he wants to hang out but confusion is so far beyond what I’m feeling. We’re not getting back together, it sucks, of course. But I kissed him and he held my waist like he used to. I go home and decide, this is the way it is and I smile. I don’t cry, why don’t I cry? I don’t know, it’s weird, someone needs to tell me why I’m not crying for God’s sake! But then I know why, it’s because neither of us know what in the hell we’re doing and this is the most complicated thing in the world, only in an easy second I’ll let myself find a way to make it simple, to find a pleasure in hurting. Like kissing his cheek the way friends do. Wait, friends don’t do that in America. We’re just two heart broken teenagers in sick love who have no idea what they’re doing. Damn, love is so stupid, why didn’t anyone ever tell me this? 

 

 

 


JessieB SILVER said...
on Aug. 16 2010 at 9:18 pm
JessieB SILVER, Elkton, Maryland
7 articles 1 photo 102 comments

Favorite Quote:
an eye for an eye, and the whole world goes blind~Ghandi

I really liked this, 

ps. i was wondering if you could maybe check out some of my work?? thank you sooo very much (:


on Aug. 14 2010 at 2:50 pm
peacelovenharmony SILVER, Bay Village, Ohio
9 articles 1 photo 21 comments

i loved t his one its amazing heres a story/poem i wrote that i would like sharing

Words left unsaid

Words left unsaid are words waiting to be silently heard

Although I always wanted to find the right words to speak to him

I realized its okay for things to just take their course

And if he was willing to talk to me don’t worry I won’t ignore you

But you know I have a lot of thoughts, feelings, and emotions

That I have to deal with too

And i have been thinking if

 I could form the right sentences

To tell you what I am feeling

However no words come close

to what I'm describing

I just want you to understand me

And all I have to offer

Sometimes I find myself

 Loosing track of time

Waiting to know that words unsaid

Are words crying out

Silently waiting to be heard


on Aug. 10 2010 at 12:59 am
paranomial PLATINUM, Hyderabad, Other
21 articles 0 photos 55 comments
well i shall keep in mind from next time..n type complete words thanks for the corrections :) and yeah there surely are exceptionals...

on Aug. 9 2010 at 3:20 pm
White_Shadow BRONZE, Putnam, Illinois
2 articles 0 photos 110 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A life without cause is a life without effect." - Unknown

i'm sorry but i'd just like to comment that spending time to completely type out words saves other people a lot of time. thank you. But yes, i know. It's only an option that works for some people. Even exceptions have exceptions

 


on Aug. 9 2010 at 7:57 am
paranomial PLATINUM, Hyderabad, Other
21 articles 0 photos 55 comments
wt u've write is true bt nt tht easy.. circumstances are very diff at diff times..we dnt jus brk up coz we are unhappy or tired wid each other...it may nt be a permanent brk up either, the 2 might be plannin to gt bak after sometym bt the time gap tht they aint 2gether cn even change the things for worse n 1 of thm mightn even wanna get bak..imagine hw heart broken the other wud be then?? wt can u advice in such a situation..?

inspir3d GOLD said...
on Aug. 6 2010 at 9:00 pm
inspir3d GOLD, Norcross, Georgia
11 articles 2 photos 73 comments

Favorite Quote:
We're all just looking for attention, to be discovered overnight. We're all frustrated by the popular ones that claim the limelight before they fall to pieces. So many of us are stuck under the radar--what makes me different? You decide!

amen sister!

inspir3d GOLD said...
on Aug. 6 2010 at 8:59 pm
inspir3d GOLD, Norcross, Georgia
11 articles 2 photos 73 comments

Favorite Quote:
We're all just looking for attention, to be discovered overnight. We're all frustrated by the popular ones that claim the limelight before they fall to pieces. So many of us are stuck under the radar--what makes me different? You decide!

i totally disagree and i think most people do. if you bury your past/problems you'll just carry it with you forever.

on Jul. 25 2010 at 7:07 pm
BlackAngelWings PLATINUM, Venice, Florida
25 articles 0 photos 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
New Moon - S. Meyer
'I flung my leg over the edge and ram through the knee deep water, it sprays all around me. "Edward!" I yell knowing it is useless. The crowd is too loud and my voice is breathless with exsertion. But I couldn't stop screaming.'

You shouldn't trail after someone just because they're beautiful, you should love poeple for who they are on the inside. If you don't move on you're just restricting yourself from other poeple that you might enjoy seeing. Don't you want to see her happy? Take a look at her, if she's happy don't interfear. If she isn't then try to be her friend and work up to being her boyfriend. A girl needs her boyfriend to be a best friend too.

on Jul. 3 2010 at 1:52 pm
hey, girl... checking out your work like you asked me to. you know ALL about the relationships I"VE had so no need to share again. honey, your absolutely right... some ppl might not agree with this, but i def. do! you should be put in the magazine, you rockstar.

on Jun. 29 2010 at 9:25 am
musiclover123, ., Other
0 articles 0 photos 63 comments

Favorite Quote:
It is cruel, you know, that music should be so beautiful. It has the beauty of loneliness of pain: of strength and freedom. The beauty of disappointment and never-satisfied love. The cruel beauty of nature and everlasting beauty of monotony. <3

okay!

good luck!

<3


on Jun. 27 2010 at 6:58 pm
White_Shadow BRONZE, Putnam, Illinois
2 articles 0 photos 110 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A life without cause is a life without effect." - Unknown

No, i completely understand. Some things work out for different people, and I have used the method that you are talking about before. It does work. But for the girl that I was describing, that was what i did to fix things. And those worked too. Thank you for the second opinion :) I respect that.

on Jun. 27 2010 at 8:21 am
musiclover123, ., Other
0 articles 0 photos 63 comments

Favorite Quote:
It is cruel, you know, that music should be so beautiful. It has the beauty of loneliness of pain: of strength and freedom. The beauty of disappointment and never-satisfied love. The cruel beauty of nature and everlasting beauty of monotony. <3

I agree with cyanidesun.

Sorry.

But your writing is very good.

I just didn't like its topic.

<3