The Color Of The Inside Of My Mouth | Teen Ink

The Color Of The Inside Of My Mouth MAG

January 22, 2009
By Bassoonkelley GOLD, Tampa, Florida
Bassoonkelley GOLD, Tampa, Florida
15 articles 0 photos 49 comments

I wipe at my stupid eyes with the back of my hand, and it startles me for a second that my tears are gray. I dunno why it surprised me; I mean, I buy the s***ty mascara that’s $1.99 in the 20 Items or Less checkout lane. Why spend oodles of green on something I hardly ever use?

I just wanted to look nice, you know? Like those girls who’re just naturally fake pretty. The girls who can blend shades of eyeshadow like no one’s business, and match their lipstick to the exact color of their toenail polish or whatever. Seemingly effortless, yet impeccably coordinated.

This is good stuff, I should write for a living – solely on the subject of beauty queens with superiority complexes, of course.

I just want … God, what do I want? I want to feel the sun on my face and paint the clouds and hear the music in the trees and love myself and love someone else and just feel perpetually beautiful.

But that requires the $14.99 waterproof, fire-retardant, Grade-5-hurricane-resistant mascara, not the tube that’s two bucks in Lane 4.

My shoes are dirty and outdated, but that’s how I like them. I like these shoes. They’re comfortable. Why do I need new, expensive, fashionably appealing shoes in order for someone to say, “Hey dogg, you look nice today”?

And why is it that whenever I get deathly bored and slather cheap, pore-clogging makeup all over my face everyone suddenly says, “Wow, you look pretty!”? Since when is “pretty” about whale blubber and cocoa butter?

I’ll tell you one thing, though. I most definitely am not crying about some stupid XY.

Definitely not.

I’m crying for all the whales that have to give up their fatty insulation so that some fugly anorexic super bitch can paint herself pretty every freaking day, giving him something halfway decent to oggle all the time.

Seriously, I’m not leaking saltwater over a guy.

I just think it’s cruel and unfair that the fat-endowed marine life population doesn’t even get the slightest warning that they’ll soon be on a cosmetics endcap at K-Mart.

He could have at least broken it to me gently, you know? We’ve been friends since the George Bush/Al Gore debacle.

I mean come the Bette Midler on.

I spill my blood, guts, and viscera out to this guy and he throws down the “Let’s just be friends” card without a second thought?

It’s just … it’s common courtesy to ease someone into heartbreak, not smash it over their head like a whiffleball bat.

You know what? I’m going to take my $1.99 checkout Lane 4 mascara and chuck it right at her big, stupid square head.

The author's comments:
This is literally an excerpt from my journal, so it's a little different when it comes to writing style.

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This article has 476 comments.

on May. 18 2016 at 2:08 pm
dont.cry.little.girl. SILVER, Ooltewah, Tennessee
7 articles 0 photos 45 comments
Love this piece.

Cam_is_Away said...
on Jun. 14 2015 at 1:03 am
Cam_is_Away, Non, California
0 articles 0 photos 116 comments
Great job! I noticed your author's note (AN), "This is literally an excerpt from my journal, so it's a little different when it comes to writing style." Well, I thought differently - the way you wrote this was so smooth so perfect, if I dare say, it is how I dream of writing, how I strive to write many of my own works. To write a journal, not some strict narration or whatever. So great job! And since you brought up in your AN that this was from your journal, does that mean that this is leaning toward a truer, nonfictional story? Just with a bit of fiction between the lines? Either way, I thought that that made it interesting, and ever more better. I thought that the way you spoke, starting off with tears, then easily flowing to the whole subject of 'what is beauty?', then pitying whales, before finally breaking the ice and coming to the core with fire saying 'why?'. Before finally giving your journal the truth. I liked that. That you vented, so to speak. Fantastic!!

on Dec. 5 2014 at 10:13 am
BleuBunny BRONZE, Winston-Salem, North Carolina
2 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
If you have time to make mistakes, you must have time to do it again"


I love the way you wrote this piece. Crying over a guy is a waste of mascara.

on Nov. 4 2012 at 4:05 pm
amelia.estaire SILVER, Osceola, Indiana
7 articles 0 photos 30 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I take real people and put them in extraordinary situations." - Robert Cormier

This was amazing! I can definatly relate to this right now. plus, your writing is so easy to keep up with and very unique. if you could, please comment and rate on my piece "falling in love"

elites5 SILVER said...
on Oct. 19 2012 at 12:19 pm
elites5 SILVER, Langley, Other
9 articles 0 photos 23 comments
This is so well written and so many people can relate to this. Guy always go for girls that wear make up and revealing clothes. What can you do? :) can u comment on some of my work?

Trees BRONZE said...
on Sep. 28 2012 at 8:04 pm
Trees BRONZE, Billings, Montana
3 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die. How is that?

I love the Harry Potter quote!!  XD  

Powla SILVER said...
on Sep. 28 2012 at 10:55 am
Powla SILVER, PHX, Arizona
8 articles 0 photos 20 comments

Favorite Quote:
You can complain that roses have thorns, or you can rejoice that thorns have roses.

shes right. no one is brave enough to be different. independent

Trees BRONZE said...
on Sep. 27 2012 at 10:11 pm
Trees BRONZE, Billings, Montana
3 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die. How is that?

I love your writing, and I understand completely what you are talking about.  I don't understand why guys fall for the girls who are fake and trend followers.  It seems there is no originality at my school anymore.  

PiperBloo GOLD said...
on Aug. 14 2012 at 9:09 am
PiperBloo GOLD, Long Island, New York
12 articles 0 photos 54 comments

Favorite Quote:
"there are 2 types of writer's: one that makes you think and one that makes you wonder"Brian Aldiss
"Some things i cannot change but til i try i'll never know" Wicked the musical

what are you doing? someone wrote a really nice piece and we're all commenting on it and then you do that?! seriously!

on Jul. 31 2012 at 9:23 pm
TickTockBANG SILVER, Botkins, Ohio
8 articles 0 photos 44 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I believe that what doesn't kill you simply makes you... stranger." --Joker

I want to be friends with you. You just seem like one of those people who are effortlessly witty and exciting and just frickin' cool. Plus, I love how you write.

chrissie said...
on Jun. 9 2012 at 2:07 pm
I like your style of writing - it was really funny and easy to follow. keep it up

on Jun. 6 2012 at 11:30 pm
RoseAndThorn BRONZE, Mena, Arkansas
1 article 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
Find out what's really out there. I never said to be like me, I say be like you and make a difference. - Marilyn Manson

I am inpresed by your style and charactor in this piece. I enjoyed how you threw together problems with girls and their their male counterparts with the topic of exploiting nature for our makeup. Even I use a lot of makeup, but at least I have the curtisy to be interested in nature-friendly products. Your humor and wit really pull this piece together, and your messages come across as enjoyable.

on May. 18 2012 at 3:23 pm
That's The Truth No Barbie Doll is Better than the real thing :) loved the article.

J1029 SILVER said...
on May. 18 2012 at 9:28 am
J1029 SILVER, Tampa, Florida
5 articles 0 photos 73 comments

Favorite Quote:
Sing like no one is listening,
Dance like no one is watching,
Love like you've never been hurt and
Live like it's heaven on earth.

- Mark Twain

It's better to love and have lost than to never have loved at all. I wish people would take a better look at me than walk past to the Barbie doll girl

on May. 18 2012 at 7:01 am
skyblue95 PLATINUM, Bear, Delaware
35 articles 1 photo 40 comments

Favorite Quote:
I am paraphrasing, of course. "My only fear is that when they are turned to loving they will find we are turned to hating." -Reverand Msimangu, Cry, The Beloved Country (a book by Alan Paton)

Ok, so, on Monday my ex boyfriend broke up with me. The night before (Sunday), he told me he loved me and wanted to be with me forever. Then on Monday he told me he doesn't like me as much as I like him... I was so dumbfounded because of what he told me the night before, and he said he "just wants to be friends". So I can definitely relate to this. You are such an awesome writer! Keep up the good work! :) Also, could you check out some of my work and rate/comment on it? I could really use the feedback. Thanks! :)

byebye said...
on Apr. 26 2012 at 8:48 pm
byebye, Nevermore, Other
0 articles 0 photos 250 comments
XY is her reference to a boy (x and y chromosomes).

Darbs1325 GOLD said...
on Apr. 26 2012 at 6:32 pm
Darbs1325 GOLD, Columbus, Georgia
15 articles 0 photos 22 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is a reflection of reflects love....hate reflects hate....-Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When the world puts you down, keep your head up!-Anonymous?

Jeep up the good work!!!!! :D

on Apr. 26 2012 at 1:12 pm
KristinHopkins8 SILVER, Aspen, Colorado
7 articles 0 photos 83 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If a writer falls in love with you, you can never die"

I really enjoyed this because of how you redirected the moment and in the end faced what you really felt that you had to say. I love the descriptions and the humor within your words

on Apr. 26 2012 at 1:10 pm
alesson-hardtolearn SILVER, Malvern, Pennsylvania
6 articles 2 photos 8 comments
Wow, this is REALLY good! I like how you said this is from your journal; it definitely helped my perspective on the piece. I also like how you took on the topic creatively. Great job! :)

on Apr. 26 2012 at 5:20 am
elizabethlong BRONZE, Chambersburg, Pennsylvania
1 article 0 photos 32 comments
You did an amazing job, keep writing!!!!!!!!